Grand Unification Theory
by HigherSilver
Summary: Sequel to String Theory. Everyone thought Ferb and Isabella could never be together, now they can't picture them apart. The perfect couple accidentally came from friends-with-benefits. Isabella and Ferb's relationship is only growing, but their "friends-with-benefits" idea just might have shifted up the forces in Phineas and the gang's love lives. Time for more love and physics!
1. Oops

**Well, ha, here it is. I have a lot of things to say in this AN. This is a sequel to a story called String Theory on my profile. It's pretty popular and probably my favorite story by me, but if you don't like Ferbella or more mature stories, you probably won't like it, and I recommend reading it before this. This story will have lemons, but I write really light lemons, so go away weenies and go away hardcore pervs, lolz. String Theory came before Act Your Age, so it is kind of AU. Finally, ha ha, the title is again a physics theory, if anyone grills me and says Grand Unified instead of Unification, bitch, it can be both, I know more people say Unified, but Unification sounded nicer as my title. You'll get all your physics** **metaphors soon young ones. For the record, I never took physics...**

* * *

Have you ever had one of those days where everything seems to be extremely boring and tedious… where even the elevator at work breaks down and you have to walk up and down dozens of steps continuously throughout the day, making it even more tedious? Just a really long, tiring, boring day. Well, I was having one of those days. So much so that throughout the day, I had been complaining about it to my friends via text or Facebook. At least the elevator at home had been working fine. I was finally right in front of my bedroom door when I was stopped… by a long white leg wearing a long black boot.

"Umm, excuse me sir?" In addition to the leather boots, she was wearing a cop hat, huge aviator sunglasses, and a tiny blue police officer's uniform. It was essentially a jumpsuit; with the V-neck extremely low and the shorts so small I could almost see what was under them, which was, uh, nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, my girlfriend. "Do you have ANY idea how sexy you were being?"

"I'm sorry, Miss…"

"Nuh-uh, that's Officer, to you, bub." She declared.

I grinned. "My apologies, Officer…?"

"Garcia-Shapiro." She said aggressively. "Hmm…" She circled around me. "Let's see." She pulled out a little notebook. I was going to start laughing at any moment, I swear. "Name? And don't you lie to me!"

"Ferb Fletcher."

"Hmm… Relationship status?"

"Currently dating my one true love, but I'm a little afraid I might start an affair with a certain officer." I answered cheekily.

"Hey, hey, hey!" She pulled down her sunglasses a little. "Are you trying to bribe me, bub?"

"Maybe?" I shrugged.

"Not going to work!" She continued to circle. "Well, well… Ferb Fletcher!" She waved her tiny notebook. "Seems like I've caught a hardcore criminal. We've got multiple counts of sexiness, hotness, being extremely good in bed, being romantic, charming…" She shook her head. "Wow." She took off her sunglasses and placed them, and the notebook down. She crossed her arms. "I was going to let you off with a warning, but now, I'm sorry, you're going to have to do me. Hard." I rolled my eyes and grabbed her. "NO!" She squealed. She started hitting me on the back. "No! Ferb! You're breaking character!" I knocked the cop hat off and dropped her on the bed. "Ferb! I can't believe you broke character! I'm never casting you for anything again!" She couldn't stop giggling.

"I'm sorry, Officer." I said hungrily. We started passionately kissing. "Mmm…" I pulled off my shirt. "Um, any particular reason for this, Bella?"

"Well, you did complain that you were bored." She giggled. She wrapped her hands around my neck and started kissing me again, and I felt her nails run through my hair.

"Ok…" I broke the kiss again. "How do I get this damn thing off?" I gestured at her costume.

Isabella licked her lips slowly. They weren't swollen per say, but just slightly puffed enough that it was very clear I had been kissing her. She was already driving me crazy, and we had barely done anything.

" _It's Velcro_." She said, in a sultry tone. Oh shit. I literally pulled her clothes open. Never has that Velcro noise sounded so good. I was right. Isabella wasn't wearing anything at all under her outfit; she was completely bare after I pulled the costume open. I lowered my mouth to her chest. Isabella gasped as I traced my tongue around one of her breasts.

"Ferb!" She moaned. She arched herself a little into me and then snarled angrily. "No, too many clothes…" I suppose she was referring to my pants. She was right. I eagerly started taking them off as Isabella pulled off her costume and threw it off the bed. And I had to watch as she stood up and slowly, painfully slowly, unzipped and removed her black boots, while she was standing in front of me, completely naked. God, was she trying to kill me? I think she was purposely doing it as slowly as possibly, like a striptease, where you can look, but not touch, curving her legs and her back, and flipping her hair as I watched.

"Officer," I pulled her into my arms. "Maybe we shouldn't. I'm starting to feel guilty about cheating on my girlfriend. She's a charming girl."

"What? That bitch can go to hell!" Isabella exclaimed. We both started chuckling. She ran a finger down my face. "I love you."

"I love you too." I replied. "But you're still rather insane." I growled. I pushed her down and thrust into her. Oh god, it's so good. She lifted her hips up and down with every thrust.

"Ferb… Ferb… FERB…" She always starts off moaning, and it gets louder, and louder, and louder, until she was screaming my name and other expletives. Finally, "FUCK! FERB! OH GOD, BABY! YES!"

"I-s-a-bella." I moaned, and slid out of her. She and I were completely out of breath. I collapsed on top of her hot body.

"Mmm, baby…" I felt her bare foot play with mine. "You're soooo good."

"You're soooo loud." I whispered.

"What?" She said. "No, I'm not." She said indignantly.

"Oh yeah?" I said. "Wait for it…"

"GUYS?" Loudly and irritably, but still somewhat hesitantly, we heard Phineas' voice through the wall. "WOULD YOU PLEASE PLEASE KEEP IT DOWN? PLEASE?"

I looked at her. "Oops?" She mouthed. And we both started laughing.

* * *

BUZZ!

BUZZ!

BUZZ!

Uggh! I slapped my hand down on a very angry sounding buzzer and opened my eyes. I turned to my side to see Isabella cuddled up on my arm, turned away from me. This had to be the most beautiful girl in the world; rosy cheeks, pearly skin, and that long thick black hair.

"Bella." I whispered. I left an open mouthed kiss on her bare shoulder. "Bella?"

"You jackass." She grumbled. She pulled the comforter up and over her head. "You set an alarm? After sex? Who does that?"

I sat up a little. "Aren't you getting tired of sleeping all day and then having Phineas have to come and wake us up?"

"Uggh... you stupid boys." Isabella grumbled, as she went deeper under the comforters. "Gotta make the most of the day. God."

I got up and out of the bed, and collected some clean clothes. "Come on, Sexy." I poked her. "What happened to my Isabella with the morning glow?"

"Fuck you." She muttered.

I put on my pants over the new boxers I had already put on last night. Then, I put on a new shirt. I brushed my teeth, my hair, and everything, and Isabella was still lying in bed.

I sat down next to her. "Bella?" I traced a line down her back. I gently kept stroking her smooth skin. "Isabella?"

"Christ." She grumpily sat up. Isabella hadn't put on anything other than a pair of panties to sleep in, so her chest was still naked. Her hair was a complete and total mess. "Unless we're going to – whoo!" I grabbed her face and pushed my tongue past her perfect pink lips. She tried to sit up a little bit higher, but I pushed her back and ran a hand up one bare breast. She hungrily kissed back until I quickly pulled away.

"Are you awake now?" I asked.

She fanned herself. "Wow, ok, I'm awake, I'm awake."

I smirked. "Good." I glanced at her smiling at me, and there she was. Afterglow Isabella. When we make love, and she just looks so happy and beautiful and genuine afterwards.

We were the perfect couple. We had been the perfect couple for about a year. Everyone we knew thought so. Adyson had literally nicknamed us Mr. and Mrs. Perfect. Buford joked that we were "too cutesy to handle anymore". When anyone we knew needed any kind of relationship advice, they came to us. We were almost always together, almost inseparable, with the rare exceptions being any occasional "girls' night" or "boys' night". I was madly in love with this girl. No one could even picture Ferb without attaching Isabella to him anymore, and vice versa. It is amazing… people forget things so quickly.

Once upon a time, Isabella was in love with not Ferb, but Phineas Flynn. Ferb was in love with Vanessa Doofenshmirtz. The idea of Isabella and Ferb being anything other than friends was ridiculous, nonsensical, weird… stupid. Of course, however, they were best friends, each others' secret confidants, and so close that somewhere under there, they had been harboring deep romantic feelings for each other, but these shallow crushes had prevented those feelings from coming out. So… wait for the twist… in a very stupid move, Isabella and Ferb decided to become friends-with-benefits and simply sleep with one another until they ended up with their crushes. And by finally making love to each other, those feelings at long last started coming out, after so many years of friendship… and, I realized I was madly in love with this girl. With Isabella.

I walked out of my room to the kitchen. Phineas was sitting there, alone, clutching an almost comically oversized cup of coffee. I waved. "Hey Ferb." He said blandly, in an almost dead voice. Hmm… he seemed a little off.

"Hey baby…" Isabella walked out. She was wearing her own T-shirt and sweatpants. She's been leaving her own sets of clothes in my room for a while now, although she does still like to wear my shirts all the time. She was also tying her hair with a bow in the back, which she still occasionally does, although much smaller than they used to be, as she was walking. "Oh, hey Phineas. Good morning."

"Yeah, hey Isabella." He said. "How did you sleep last night?"

"Pretty well, that is, until this guy woke me up." She gestured towards me.

"That's great." He said, acting unusually sarcastic for Phineas.

"What about you?" She asked. "How did you sleep?"

"I _didn't._ " Phineas responded, somewhat jarringly. I just then noticed he had really dark circles under his eyes.

"Why? And why are you so… oh… shit," She covered her face, realizing exactly why Phineas might not have slept so well last night. "I'm really sorry Phineas."

"It's fine, Isabella." He said. "You guys…" He yawned. "…have fun." He downed his coffee and reached to pour more. He was taking it completely black. "I'm gonna go work on some stuff and plans and… and…" He yawned. "Need… sleep." He walked out of the kitchen, groggily. "Make another pot of coffee!" He mumbled.

Isabella waited only a second until he was out of sight and then turned to me. "Oh no!" She exclaimed. "We are so bad!"

"We?" I responded. "I wasn't the one screaming all night."

"Well," She put her hand on her hip. "Who was the one making me scream?"

"Hey, I just came home and got 'arrested'." I stated. Another thought occurred to me. "Hey, how did you even get in here? Did he let you in?"

"Yeah." She guiltily nodded.

"So you came over and just lurked in my room, and left Phineas alone?" I questioned.

"I am the worst." Isabella moaned.

"Oh Bella…" I said. "It's fine. He's fine. We're mostly at your place anyway. And last night, you obviously just wanted to do something special. And weird, as usual." I started kissing her neck. I kissed around until I found a gentle pulse, and started sucking there.

"Mmm… Ferb…" She moaned loudly. I gently cupped her ass and pulled her closer to me. "Oh God!" She moaned, slightly louder. She nudged my head off of her. "Ohhh, why did you even make me leave the bedroom, you beast?" She growled.

"No idea." I responded. I pulled her hair back and returned to her neck.

"Ferrrrbb!" She groaned with pleasure.

"UM, GUYS, WARNING, I CAN STILL HEAR YOU."

We both cringed. Another "oops", I guess.

* * *

 **If you've noticed just one tiny more thing... Phineas has been bumped up to main character! There are probably other people who deserve main character slots as the story progresses, although I haven't really gotten that far, but I'm calling it now, Phineas is one. Take that Phineas haters! Poor Phineas suffers a lot of abuse from us Ferbella writers, including me, despite my crazy crush on him. Although, ha, it seems like the abuse is continuing right now. Oops?**

 **And again, to all the awesome artists out there... I need a cover... I'm just saying... I get a lot of views...**

 **I would really really appreciate reviews since I need to know how I'm doing, where to go, more ideas, etc. Please review! Please!**


	2. Lovebirds

**Well, I'm pretty happy, like a record number of people started following this based on a kind of lame first chapter. Between this and Man Of Action, I'm pretty happy with my current stories. The chapters for this seem to be coming out pretty long. Cool.**

* * *

"Cool Blue?" I laughed. "Men are so weird. What happened to your Irish soap? I mean, this is not a scent."

"Well, maybe men are too embarrassed to go around smelling like 'Strawberries and Vanilla'." Ferb replied.

I laughed again. He turned the shower knob. Ah… I closed my eyes as the hot water hit me and steam started to billow around. I loooooooovvvve shower sex. I love it. It's must be my top, or at least in my top three, places to do it. It's so hot, and clean, at the same time. I know some girls don't love it like I do, or like it at all. Adyson hates it after an unfortunate, but kind of funny story where she, sort of, fell out of the tub. Ha. I don't know, maybe she doesn't have the skill. Anyway, Ferb would never drop me. Ferb's a strong guy; he's been able to hold a girl in his arms since he was like twelve, he's spent years doing manual labor and essentially building up his body and, oh man, I am melting just listing these things about him, and we've had a lot of… practice. Plus, Ferb's… stamina… is goddamn amazing.

Ferb nipped at my ear. "Mmm… are we actually going to take a shower this time?"

"Hey," I turned around. My hair was in a bun this time. Kind of helpful to not have a mess of wet black hair flopping all around. "Not until the fun part is over." I wrapped my hands around his neck. I kissed him passionately, pulling our naked bodies together, pushing my nipples into his chest. He gently pushed my head to the side, so he could start on my neck. "Mmm… Ferb." All the while, the shower was just getting steamier. He returned to French-kissing me and put one hand under one of my thighs, lifting that leg up. I responded by wrapping it around his waist. He backed up into the wall so I could jump up and wrap the other one around too. I angled myself right so he could slide into me, "FERRRB… " I threw my head back and moaned. He turned and pushed me against the wall. "Harder." I commanded hoarsely. "Faster." Oh God, did this boy know what he does to me? I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think! It was just these tiny little words running through my mind as he thrust into me.

 _…love…Ferb…sex…kiss…Ferb…want…love…Ferb…need…hot…Ferb…good…love...Ferb…want…sex…Ferb…love…good…good…really good… FUCK…FERB…_ "OH GOD FERB!"

I opened my eyes. The water was still running and splashing on my face. "Ohhh…" I panted. I realized I had been digging my nails into his shoulders, but he didn't seem to mind. I untangled our bodies.

"You were screaming again." He teased.

"No, I…" Am I really that loud? Before last year, it had been sooo long since I had been with anyone. Then, last year, I was so terrified of being caught, and yet, there were still quite a few times where Ferb had to cover my mouth with a hand or his lips to shut me up. And, now, with me constantly riding him, I had the feeling I might be getting even louder. I decided to avoid the topic all together.

"Hmm, Ferb?" I asked sexily. "Cool Blue or Strawberries and Vanilla?" I held up the two soaps.

"I'll take my own manly soap, thank you."

I started laughing, as I soaped myself up with my own body wash. This stuff was nice, I brought it over myself. If no one was going to use it, it was going back in the so-called "Isabella drawer" the guys had given me in the bathroom. Aaah, nice hot shower, nice hot shower sex.

"Maybe you'd understand the men's scent more coming from…"

"A man's body?" I finished. "Ha, I'm sorry guy, I just showered." I said sassily.

"It's not like we'd run out of soap if you had to…" One hand was getting dangerously high on my body and one was getting dangerously low. "…shower again."

"Oh Ferb." I moaned.

BANG BANG BANG! Yikes! The sudden banging on the bathroom door brought me back to reality.

"GUYS, COME ON! YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOREVER!"

"Phineas!" Ferb grumbled.

"Nah, baby, he's right." I said. I turned the shower off. "Tonight," I whispered. "I'm going to make you smell like strawberries and vanilla."

* * *

"Okey-doke." Ginger placed a large plate of appetizers and snacks on her living room table. "Here we go!"

"Thank god, I was starving!" Buford exclaimed. "Ready, Kyle? Go long!" He said, picking up a cheese cube.

"Oh no, you don't." Wynne firmly gripped her boyfriend's arm.

"Girls are so not fun." Buford declared.

"I wouldn't say that, Byoof." Kyle said nervously. "We are vastly outnumbered here."

"Right. Huh, maybe we should start inviting Irving and Django over more."

If you did a quick head check, it was me, Wynne, Ginger, Holly, Milly, Katie, Gretchen, and Adyson versus just them and Phineas and Ferb. I loved that after all these years, the gang was still a gang, and we were still able to come together all the time to just hang out. Kyle and Wynne were easy additions; it felt like we had known them our whole lives. As long as she wasn't touching my boyfriend, that is, LOL, I loved the girl.

Ferb kissed my cheek. "Girls can be A LOT of fun." He stated. I started giggling and blushing.

"Gross." Buford said.

"That reminds me, where is Baljeet?" Ginger said. "He is so late!"

"Yeah, that is kind of weird. Hand me a cracker?" Holly asked.

"Um, you guys don't seem very concerned." Ginger said.

"Ginger… it's Baljeet." Katie said blankly. Even after all this time, we still didn't get Ginger's crush on Baljeet. Not that we didn't think they were an adorable couple, because they were.

"So, anything exciting happen during the week?" Holly asked.

Milly giggled excitedly. "That really cute guy I always see at the gym said 'Hi' again."

"Really!" Holly responded in delight. "The one with the auburn hair?"

"Yes!" Milly squealed.

"YAY!" Buford sarcastically mimicked her squeal. "Anything else more interesting? What about you, Dinnerbell? Why do you look like you're secretly planning on murdering us all?"

"Huh?" Phineas sat up. I realized he had been slouching a little.

"Oh come on Phineas, look alive, cutie pie!" Adyson giggled. What the…? "Tell us what brilliant ideas you came up with this week!"

"Me? Umm… I had, I had a normal week for me, I guess." I felt sooo guilty. I wasn't only taking away his time with Ferb, I was taking away his time to sleep, to shower, everything!

"Red, are you ok?" Kyle asked.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Phineas said.

"What about all the lovebirds flying around?" Gretchen asked sweetly.

"Kyle took me bowling. I can't stand bowling." Wynne rolled her eyes.

"But she still beat me! I love this woman!" He declared.

"Well, we don't need to ask about Ferb and Isabella. We know what they were doing." Adyson said, and then made a kissy face. Everyone laughed a little.

"Shut up." I said, giggling. "I mean, we just did what we always do." Each other. "Hang out, Ferb makes dinner, and we'll watch something. Sometimes Phineas is right there, right Phineas?"

"Yeah." I swear, he rolled his eyes at me! "Right."

Right then, there was knocking on the door. "Oh thank god!" Ginger said, in a relieved voice. She opened the door. "Baljeet!" She hugged him.

"Sorry, sorry," He said, coming in and sliding off his shoes. "I know, I am late."

"Why? And why didn't you call?" Ginger said. Great, she's going psycho-girlfriend on him, right in front of us.

"Heh," He walked to the couch. I moved myself onto Ferb's lap so he could have a seat. "I was already running a little late, and there was some traffic, and then, something… came up."

"What does that mean?" Adyson asked sneakily.

"Well, my mother called me," He began.

"You were late because of that?" Ginger still seemed irritated.

"Yes."

"What was so important and interesting about this call?" Ginger asked.

"Umm… do any of you guys remember my old friend from India, Mishti?"

We almost perfectly recited the facts like we had memorized them for a test. "In India, you were best friends with a little girl named Mishti. You did everything together." I stated.

"But when you met her again, she wasn't a little tomboy anymore, she was like… super hot." Buford said.

"So we built a huge luxury love boat cruise for the two of you!" Phineas piped up.

"Because Phineas is an IDIOT and the first thing he thought of when you explained your problem was 'girls = romance'." Buford continued.

"You are the worst." Phineas said. Wow, he was really grumpy.

Buford shrugged. "I try. I am a bully, after all."

"And in the end, Mishti never wanted nor expected to be anything other than best friends again." Ferb finished.

I swear, Ginger's nostrils were flaring. "Why does this story matter NOW, Baljeet?"

He cringed. "Because my mom called to tell me Mishti is coming back to visit me!" He said really quickly.

Ginger was going to murder him. This was so not a good time to be here. Mishti is one person Ginger has never stopped being jealous of. She has the connection with Baljeet Ginger wished she had, the connection I have with Phineas and Ferb… best friends since forever.

"We might have to get out of here." I whispered.

"Why?" Katie asked.

"She's gonna blow!" Adyson declared.

I had never seen our group move so fast.

"Bye Ginger!"

"Thanks Ginger!"

"See you all next time!"

"Bye guys!"

The comments were so quick as we dashed to grab all our stuff and get out that door. That fight was not going to be pretty. And Baljeet and Ginger almost never fight. Ferb and I can be somewhat more… volatile. Before we got together last year, we would fight a lot; there was just too much sexual tension. Now, like Buford says, we're the "cutesy" couple. But if I heard that Vanessa was doing ANYTHING with him… I'm not saying I don't trust Ferb, but… yeah; there would be some fighting.

"Fuck, that is going to end ugly." Buford said, as me and the rest of the gang from our building got in the elevator.

"He is such a moron!" Wynne declared. "I mean, we all know that's a delicate subject with her! Even I know!"

"I don't get what the big deal is." Phineas said mildly, as we three got out on our floor. "Mishti is coming to visit him. Isn't that a good thing? She's nice. She's our friend. She's practically his best friend."

"Yeah, Phineas," I exclaimed. "That's the problem."

"That she's his friend?" He questioned.

"Phineas, Ginger feels threatened by Mishti. Because no matter how pretty and cool and fun she is, Baljeet will always be closer to Mishti in many ways. I mean, imagine if your girlfriend was best friends with a great handsome boy…" I trailed off. Uh, that may or may not have happened to him last year… with me.

"Oh, so it's like what happened with you, isn't it?" He said. Crap! I shouldn't have said anything. He's already acting unusually sad and cranky. "I mean, like Vanessa was dating Ferb, but he was best friends since he was a kid with you, and she did feel threatened eventually."

"Right," I laughed awkwardly. "Me and Vanessa and Ferb." And not you. Right. Ha. How can he still somehow be oblivious? He knows I loved him! We dated each other! What is wrong with this boy? It's like his brain is unable of putting himself in any kind of romantic equation.

"But, then you two ended up together, not Ferb and Vanessa. Uh, that's not going to happen with Baljeet…?"

"NO." I said defiantly. "No way!"

Nope. No. Nuh-uh. I don't know how many other ways I had to say it but NO! Baljeet and Ginger had gotten together less than a year before Ferb and I, but unlike us, everybody had been rooting for it for years. There had been so many moments, so many dates, so many kisses, and pictures, and their own nerdy inside jokes. All of us, Buford and Adyson, but also me and the girls, and even Ferb, had given them grief about their relationship, and yet we all also adored it. They were the definition of a "relationship goal". The thought of Baljeet, my best friend Baljeet Tjinder, ever getting a serious girlfriend was so stupid and laughable, but since the universe apparently decided it could be a thing, the only girl it could be had to be Ginger.

"If he ever hurts Ginger, I'll kill him." I stated flatly. Phineas looked a little disturbed. Ferb just patted my head. He was used to my insanity, I guess. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

I believe in soulmates. I like to think that everyone has their one true love, their one true match. I don't know if I only say that because I found mine, or because I don't want love to be so… mix-and-match. I don't want to think that maybe Baljeet could work with either Ginger or Mishti. That would make me feel if circumstances were different, maybe Ferb would've picked Vanessa after all. I don't know.

I didn't realize that these thoughts about competition between other girls would become relevant again until I was rifling through my mail the next day. Bills… boring. Ooo, my newest Flawless Girl. Gotta look through that later. Best makeup tips and best sex tips. What was this? A dark satiny envelope. Hmm… I carefully opened it. I stared at the beautiful black paper, with a lace-like finish. Also in a lacey scroll, all silver and gold, lay the words: Montgomery Francis Monogram weds Vanessa Doofenshmirtz.

I… I was invited to Vanessa's wedding? The girl who stole Ferb Fletcher from her, the most wonderful man in the world? I had insulted her, and taunted her, and tried to make him cheat on her with me, and she invited me to her wedding? What? I had literally just been thinking about how I would murder her, or him, or both of them, if they ever did anything together again. I really am a horrible person… actually, that made me think of something.

I left my apartment and bounded into the boys'. "Did you see this?"

I waved my invitation to Ferb, who was sitting at the island. He held up two identical invitations. So, she did invite Ferb. Shoc-ker. The real surprise was that she had invited Phineas. I know she was with us that one summer, and between Ferb and Candace she had met him a bunch of times, but seriously, did she even spell his name right? I glanced at my invitation. Did she even spell my name right?

"Yeah, but why would she invite me?" I asked.

"Well, you did get them back together." He stated simply.

"Right. Huh. So, she doesn't care that we're together?" I asked.

I hadn't talked to Vanessa Doofenshmirtz in forever. I had intended to keep it that way honestly. There was something about her that rubbed me the wrong way. I'm not sure when that came up, because when I was younger, I used to picture her and me and Candace as sister-in-laws together. Although I think I might irritate Candace too. Dammit. Anyway, I had never really known Vanessa. And when I finally got to know her… we were both in love with a Mr. Ferb Fletcher. Cue the bitch fight. When I walked into that apartment, and saw Ferb in a passionate kiss with Vanessa, it wasn't like Wynne or Adyson. For the first time in my life, I felt the urge to grab the girl by the hair and rip her off of him. I wanted to kill her. I can't imagine what would happen if someone was actively trying to seduce Ferb. I really would kill her.

"It's her WEDDING." He emphasized.

He's right. I was partly the reason why Vanessa was even marrying Monty. Plus, Vanessa most definitely knew Ferb liked me… even if she hadn't known all the dirty details. She wouldn't be surprised at all that we had become "the perfect couple". And, I would be going with Ferb. You know, Phineas was one of my best friends, and it probably drives Ferb crazy to see us together constantly. I could easily handle Vanessa, especially when it was her wedding, and she was only going to be focused on her guy. I glanced at Ferb. He looked so sweet right now.

I smiled. "Vanessa was one of the first people who said you had to be in love with me."

He raised an eyebrow. "What?"

I started strolling towards him. "Actually… the first one was Gretchen. Then, Vanessa. Your two EX-girlfriends. They said something along the lines of 'even if you're literally dating Ferb, he still only has eyes for one girl… and that's Isabella.'" He gaped at me. I smiled cockily. "Is that true, Ferb?" I fluttered my eyelashes.

"Dammit." He groaned.

I threw my arms around his neck and started kissing him. This… this was necessary for existence. Kissing Ferb was like breathing. I could only go so long without having to do it or I'd die. I barely realized we were moving until I was flat down on the couch and he was on top of me. I pulled my top off and flung it somewhere.

"Is it true?" I asked. His arms wrapped around me, fumbling with the bra clasp. "Tell me, is it true?"

"What do you think?" His deep voice said. He finally got my bra off.

"I think… you're just a huge womanizer who appreciates how amazing I am at screwing you." I said sassily. "And that's it."

"You're right." He started playing with one breast and sucking the other.

"Oh, Ferb." I moaned.

"No, actually." He stopped and rested his head on my chest. "They're right. They're very right."

"What?" I asked. "Ferb, what they, what she, Vanessa, said is true? You'd… always pick me?" My man is perfect. There were no Mishtis, or Vanessas, or Adysons, or Mystery Minkas, who could ever take him away from me.

"I was always very unfair to my girlfriends but… How could I not have spent all my time with you? How could I not have listened to all your sorrows and woes? How could I not have looked down a crowded hallway and only seen the girl with pink bow? How could I not have only had eyes for Isabella?"

My eyes filled with tears. I bit at my lip. "You're going to make me cry." We started kissing again. "How can you love me that much?" I whispered.

"Stop crying." He smiled.

"I can't." I arched into him and moaned. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

He sighed. "For me, it's always been the other way around."

I was actually crying now. "Oh stop it, you've ruined the mood! Now I'm just a mess."

"I don't care." He said. He pulled off his shirt, and began kissing me again. Then, his phone rang. He groaned.

"It's ok." I wiped tears from my eyes. "Answer it."

He hit the speakerphone button. "It's Ferb." He said quickly, and suddenly, he started kissing me again. Oh god. I wrapped one leg around his waist.

"What the fuck is this?" I heard in a loud voice. Buford.

"What?" He mumbled. He was working on getting my jeans off.

"Why am I getting a wedding invitation from your ex-girlfriend?" Huh? We sat up a little. "It's not just me. She invited Baljeet too. And Adyson. And the rest of the girls. I'm pretty sure she invited Irving. And fucking Django, for Pete's sake! We barely talk to him anymore!"

"I… have… no… idea." He panted.

"Dude…" There was a long pause. "Do not tell me Isabella is doing you as we speak! You crazy little– " Ferb quickly hung up the phone.

"She, she invited everybody." I remarked.

"Huh." Even Ferb seemed perplexed by this. He always said they couldn't be just friends, but I knew Vanessa and Ferb had a special bond, and that sucked, I mean, that was _great_. But to invite our entire gang… well, I guess we would be asking Vanessa about this soon. Especially with random friends calling and asking us about it. But as for now… we were a little busy. He ended up just throwing me over his shoulder and taking me to the bedroom. And later that night, it took me, Ferb, and Phineas hours to find my top.

* * *

 **Tee-hee. So... looks like Phineas' end of the stick is still pretty short, huh? And the Montessa wedding will actually be happening in this story,** **whoo! Finally... Mishti's coming back... whaaa? Ha ha ha, the Mishti thing cracked me up in AYA. I've been dying to write her in since then. First of all, Balinger got together WAY too easy, in String Theory and the show. Second of all, I love Mishti. Indian girls FTW! And her and Baljeet are soooo cute in that episode. So... ha ha ha... new love triangle alert. Please review!**

 **Psst... I know, and it's very important, that you haven't even met Mishti yet, but... Team Ginger or Team Mishti?**


	3. Buffering

**This kind of feels like a good week for some Cory in The House jokes to me...**

* * *

Vanessa Doofenshmirtz might seem as far away on the spectrum as possible from Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, but in truth, they probably have a lot more in common with each other than they thought. And that is, that while one was suave, gothic, seductive, mature, of European descent, and had a little evil in her, and the other was cute, fluffy, baby-faced, Mexican Jewish, and absolutely lovable, they are both absolute heartbreakers. To a dangerous point. Do not fall in love with Vanessa or Isabella. Your heart will be broken, shattered to pieces, maybe more than once. I did finally get Vanessa, but that doesn't mean she didn't leave any scars. The same thing happened to Monty Monogram. And, in all truth, Isabella may have left a few on me too.

I gently rapped my knuckles on the door of her apartment. It took a couple minutes, but then it opened, and the ever-beautiful Vanessa was standing there.

"Hey guys." She smiled.

"Hi Vanessa." Isabella said. It sounded like she was forcing herself to sound sweet. I don't think she was jealous really. I think Vanessa just gives Isabella stress. I've told her so many times she'll never have to worry about anything, but I think that's also why I tend to avoid Vanessa's fiancé.

"Come on in. Monty!" She called. Shoot.

"Vanessa…" We walked in and sat down on the couch. "We kind of had a question. That's why we came." Isabella said.

"Hey, babe, what's up?" Monty came running up to us. "Hey! You're… you're…" He was struggling for the names.

"Ferb and Isabella." I said flatly.

"Yeah, so honestly guys, we wanted to ask you… why did you invite everyone to the wedding?" Isabella exclaimed. "Ok, so Ferb and you, Vanessa, are pretty close, and I helped get you two back together, and you and Candace are friends, and then you can't leave out Phineas, but… you invited everyone! And I mean everyone!"

"Well, you're our friends!" Vanessa smiled. I gave her a look. She and Monty exchanged glances. "Ok, to be real honest guys, I just wanted as many relatively normal people as possible to come. See, Monty's family is really… weird, and mine is just goddamn crazy. And we wanted as many people as possible as a buffer to keep our dads from fighting or, like, even talking." She sighed. "So you Ferb, your group of friends is always so fun, but they don't have to come if they don't want to…"

"We'll come if we can Vanessa." I said gently. Poor Vanessa. Her family always gave her anxiety, and contrary to popular belief, Vanessa wasn't perfect; she got just as insecure as everybody else. And she wasn't asking us to do anything at all, besides attend what would probably be a really fun wedding, which I would've gone to anyway, because it was hers.

"Thank you, Ferb." She said gratefully. Isabella coughed. "And, um, thank you too, Isabella." She said, sounding more irritated.

"You're welcome." Isabella said. I rolled my eyes. "We're leaving now. Bye Vanessa. Bye Monty."

"Yeah, bye…"

"Iz-za-bell-la!" She stated.

"Right!" Monty said. "Bye!"

"He honestly has no idea who we are, does he?" I said, as we were entering our own building's elevator.

"Well, we are just a pack of idiot kids to them… and to Candace and Jeremy and Stacy and Coltrane and Jenny and…" Isabella said. "You know what, who cares? We're going to a wedding!" She squealed. "In a deluxe hotel and everything! Whoo! It's going to be so romantic!" She spun around in a circle.

I smiled, watching her. "Everything is romantic when I'm with you." I said, as the doors opened. I gently took her hand as she skipped out.

"Why, thank you, sir." She curtsied.

"After you." I swept my arm forward. She giggled and continued to skip down the hall in front of me.

"Oh, I'll have to go shopping for a new dress. All of us will. I'm so excited! Ferb, seriously, we've been waiting for this one since forever!"

"You've been waiting for Vanessa's wedding since forever?" I repeated back to her.

"Well… duh. I'm the one who set it up and now she'll finally get married. Ha!"

I nodded to myself. "Isabella, you do know you just handed me a jealousy card I could use against you, right?"

"Who cares!? Vanessa is getting married!" This was so like my Bella. She got to go to a romantic wedding, which she loved, as well as her "number one competition" was officially pulling out of the race, which she loved more.

I rolled my eyes and pushed her against my door. "You know, they're right." I whispered lightly. "We are all idiot kids."

"And again… who the fuck cares?" Isabella growled.

I dove in for her. Her hands were on my face and she eagerly opened her mouth the second our lips touched. As our tongues battled, one hand slid down and gripped my shirt. One of my hands was under her thigh and I felt it rising, until I had lifted it up and she had wrapped it around me. I ground against her and there was a whimper somewhere in the back of her mouth. The desperate desire for Isabella never ends; I suppose that's love.

Then… the door started opening. Isabella squealed. If it weren't for that leg wrapped around me, she would've fallen flat on her back, but because of that, I was able to pull her towards me as the door opened. We were lucky neither of us fell down.

"Phineas!" We both exclaimed.

"Ok… what the heck?" Phineas said, in an exhausted voice. "I was literally just opening a door. Am I not allowed to do that now?"

Isabella untangled herself from me. "Well, no, but…"

"But what, Isabella?" He asked wearily.

"Oh, Phineas, I'm sorry, I just…"

"Yeah, guys, I… I'm going out for a little." And he started walking away from us.

"Oh my god! Oh my god!" Isabella exclaimed. "Ferb!" She shook me. "We're going to drive him crazy!"

"Isabella," I sighed. "Give him a little bit of time to just relax." We walked into the apartment.

She sat down on the couch. "No, baby, I feel so guilty!" She blubbered.

I sat down next to her. "Me too." I said weakly. I hated myself. Phineas had always been so completely on board with our relationship; despite Isabella sort of being an ex, despite how much we hid and lied to him last year, and despite how much we spent wrapped up in each other now, leaving him out. Although, Isabella looks like she feels twice as guilty.

"Baby!" She hugged me. "Maybe Phineas isn't the only one who needs to relax. Lie down." I sighed and rested my head in her lap. I closed my eyes as she gently ran her nails through my hair. "My poor Ferb. And poor Phineas. Uggh, something is like, wrong with him. You don't think he's… jealous, do you?"

I opened one eye. "Jealous?" My voice went up way higher than it normally would. What am I, thirteen? That statement shouldn't have bothered me, but it does. Because there's still that part of me that refuses to let the idea that Isabella loves Phineas, or Phineas loves Isabella, or Isabella and Phineas belong together, die.

"Yeah…" Isabella suddenly seemed overcome with regret. "No, no! That's not what I meant!"

It made me want to throw up, that Isabella had this burden on her, that her first love was an obstacle in our relationship and that it bothered me. I didn't want her to carry this burden. I also didn't want her to try to live up to Vanessa or anything else. I loved my Isabella, no matter what else was involved.

She slid her hands down my shirt. "You know that's not what I meant, right?" She said, in a low, sultry voice. I gently nodded. "Ok." She returned to petting my hair. "I meant, like, jealous of our relationship. In like a lonely way."

"Isabella…" I sat up. "You don't mean…"

"Yes!" She clapped her hands together. "Phineas needs a girlfriend."

"Uggh." I laid back down grumpily.

"Humph!" She got up. "So moody." She made her way over to the other side of the couch. She got on her knees on the other pillow, and ran one hand up my shirt, one down the front of my crotch. "Is my baby mad at me?" She said softly. She unbuttoned my jeans. She continued to stroke my crotch.

I sighed to myself. "I-s-a-bella…" I pulled her on top of me. "No, my angel, no I'm not mad at you."

She started crying. Not actual tears, but panicked blubbering. "Ferb, I know I can't erase me and Phineas. And it bothers you, I know it bothers you. I don't what I can do to…"

"Oh god." I rolled my eyes. "Bella, I'm a big boy, ok? Who's the one with the girlfriend?" She weakly pointed at me. "And who's the one you're plotting to play match game with?"

"Phineas."

"Yes."

"Ok." I sat up. "Good."

"Well, jerkface, you just lost my 'special present'." She stood up to leave.

"Fuck you."

"Every day, baby. Every day." She said nonchalantly, winking as she left.

* * *

I mentioned that the only time I was not with Isabella was on boys' night. Well, tonight was boys' night. I knew she was jealous to not be included sometimes, but other times, I knew there was only so much testosterone one girl could take. As of right now, Phineas seemed completely normal, which was a good sign.

"Alright, tonight is the night where we play video games until our eyes bleed!" Buford declared loudly.

"That seems… like a really bad idea Buford." Phineas said.

"Yeah." He shrugged. "And I might have done that when I was fourteen already anyway."

"Actually…" Baljeet wrung his hands together nervously. "I was hoping for some advice from you three about something."

"What Baljeet?" Phineas asked.

"I… I…" His darker skin flushed. "I was hoping on telling Ginger I love her soon."

"Lame!" Buford exclaimed. "So her biting your head off the other day wasn't a clue that women are crazy?"

"Shut up." Baljeet said.

"Baljeet! This is great! Everyone always says you two are made for each other! She's definitely going to say 'I love you too.'" Phineas said happily.

"What the fuck do you know about love, Dinnerbell? You know, besides all the fake crap you always spew. Jeet, if you're going to talk to anyone, talk to Ferb." Buford said.

"Ferb?" Baljeet looked at me hopefully.

I smiled. "Baljeet, Ginger has been completely in love with you since we were in elementary school. In all honesty, you two have been helping us, not the other way around."

"What?" Buford asked.

"Well, remember, Ferb and Isabella did not have a typical start to a relationship." Baljeet said quietly.

"Typical start… RIGHT!" Baljeet, why did you remind him? "Right! The fuck buddy thing! They were friends-with-benefits! Oh my god, I totally forgot that's how this started, especially with you two being all cutesy all the time." Buford chuckled. I gave him a look. "You know, in all seriousness, CAN that ever work?"

"What?" Baljeet exclaimed.

"Well, dating is too much effort, and one night stands are too awkward." Buford stated.

"Ok… and who would be the girl?" Baljeet said, incredulously.

Baljeet and I waited for the answer we knew we were going to hear. "Umm… maybe Adyson?"

"Urgh." Phineas mumbled. This was obviously making him uncomfortable. There were only so many birds and bees he seemed to be able to handle. "Guys, can we do something else? I know!" He said excitedly. "Let's go down to the lake and build a HUGE duck boat for the senior citizens!"

Buford started snickering. "You know who really needs to get laid? This guy."

That shut Phineas up. He sat totally still. It was like a computer screen had just frozen. "I what?"

"Get laid. Hit a home run. Assault the fortress."

"Ew ew ew!" Phineas nearly covered his ears.

Buford shook his head. "I mean, we KNOW you didn't do Isabella. Because you can't keep a secret, and it would've come out, and then Ferb here would've like, murdered you in your sleep already."

"It's true." I shrugged.

"I don't need to…" He said angrily. "… 'get laid.'" He finished kind of whispering the last part.

"Uh-huh. Sure you don't. It's not like we all think so." Buford said sarcastically.

"Nobody thinks that." Phineas said. "Right, Ferb?" I started whistling. "Baljeet?"

"Heh heh… Phineas, you are fine." Baljeet said awkwardly.

"Come on! Back me up! Dinnerbell, it's a biological need. I mean, I know if Isabella was here, she'd agree with me."

"Isabella?" He said weakly. "So you all…? I hate you guys."

I sighed to myself. I still don't know if I was on board with Isabella and her Miss Matchmaker games, but Buford was right… we all thought it. Phineas, for lack of a better term, really needed to get laid. He baffled us all. I always tried really hard to be the gentleman and control the "male mind", and so did all my friends (except Buford), but sometimes that wasn't always possible. Especially when your Mexican-Jewish best friends handcuff themselves to their beds wearing bits of laces as lingerie. But Phineas? Was he a robot? He never seemed to be affected by anything, ever. We had never seen him do anything, ever. He wasn't TECHNICALLY a virgin, but even that was sketchy story. It was really hard trying to be decent and yet, women still manage to control you with their beauty, whether they knew it or not. I guess that's why Wynne, Ginger, Adyson, and Isabella have Kyle, Baljeet, Buford, and me whipped. Isabella has had us all on the end of her chain for years. Literally the only thing keeping everyone from falling in love with her was that she was A) "Phineas' girl", and B) we were her best friends. Ha, those things weren't even successful at deferring anything. All of us eventually fell for Isabella at some point. I had laughed a little at the idea of squeaky-clean little Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, the girl in the pink bow, sleeping around, until she started doing it with me. Then, I remembered very quickly, ha, my Bella isn't exactly that sweet little girl anymore. Neither is Buford the awkward bully, nor Baljeet the little nerd, nor I the quiet oddball. Because… we grew up. And Phineas still hasn't done that. And we don't know what's going to make that happen. But I know there's a part of everyone that gets really irritated when Phineas goes on about his stupid schemes and ideas about romance when he doesn't know anything about it. Forget Isabella and I, if anyone really desperately needed to sleep with someone, it was Phineas. But if even Isabella, the only girl Phineas has ever really cared about, couldn't spark anything in him, who could?

* * *

 **Ha ha ha, more Phineas torture! As you might be beginning to realize... this is as much Phineas' story as it is Ferb and Isabella's. And Baljeet's, and Buford's, and Ginger's... Ha, only I am the puppet master, and I control everyone's fate, as well as where the story goes. And everyone gets bliss and torture... Ha ha ha...**

 **REVIEW! THE PUPPETMASTER WANTS REVIEWS!**


	4. Alternate Theories

**Can I just say... I am having too much fun writing this! Total break from stupid school, blah. You know I'm the Ferbella girl... but, I love writing Phineas and Adyson and Buford and Baljeet and Vanessa and everyone! Whoo!**

* * *

I was on a mission and this mission would be successful. Phineas was going to get a girlfriend. Yeah, if I told past Isabella that this was my mission she'd probably freak, but who cares about that? Phineas was clearly suffering from extreme loneliness. Phineas had a very small list of relationships, all of which had probably lasted as long as ours had… which meant… nothing. No romance or intimacy or crossing any kind of steps. No way had Phineas ever said, "I love you" to anyone. And now, we were getting to the age where it looked like the group was starting to pair up and get into actual serious relationships… meanwhile, Phineas was still being Phineas. I just needed to find the girl for him. I have to assume that Phineas' soulmate is some mystery girl somewhere that maybe he would've found himself if he actually dated. We found Wynne last year when looking for a girlfriend for Ferb, and we ended up finding Kyle's soulmate. Everything works out in the end.

"Alright guys, today we crack the theory of everything." Phineas declared.

Baljeet sighed. "Phineas, I've already told you, it's almost impossible for us to…"

"Nothing's impossible! Look, ok, the GUT model I have is almost perfect…"

"It's impossible!"

"YOU'RE SUCH NERDS!" Buford lost his mind and left.

"What are you talking about?" I questioned. They are nerds.

"Remember how I told you about string theory?" Ferb said. "Well, the theory of everything is somewhat of an alternate theory… it's the ultimate theory of the universe… that currently doesn't technically exist."

"And there's no way Phineas Flynn here is going to come up with it, much less prove it!" Baljeet declared angrily, as he stormed out, just like Buford.

"Jeez."

I laughed. "Buford's right. You are nerds."

"But I'm close. I almost have my grand unification theory down, and then it's only one more step." Phineas said.

"You say it like you can do it in a day…" Then I realized who I was talking to. "Ok, what, then, is a grand unification theory?"

"Ok, so… there's three interactions in particle physics, like let's say Ferb's strong interactions, you're weak interactions,"

"Hey!"

He ignored me. "And I'm electromagnetic interactions. If I have the proper GUT model, you know, grand unification, they'll merge into one force! Like us! Then all I need is my way to get gravity in there somehow, and I'll have the theory of everything!"

I smiled to myself. "All you need is your gravity…" Ferb noticed me smiling away to myself and gave me a warning look, but I shrugged it off. "Sooo… Phineas, um, is there anything else you think you NEED? Tools, plans, _a girlfriend_ , workspace…"

"Wait, what was that third one?"

"Um," I twiddled my fingers together. "A girlfriend?"

"Huh?" Phineas turned his head towards me. "A… girlfriend? You think I need a girlfriend?"

"Didn't you think Ferb needed a girlfriend last year when he was upset? Well, he got one! Me! And it all worked out!" I said happily.

"I told you guys, I've been telling everyone, I'm fine." Phineas said. "What… do you think I'm the third wheel or something?" He asked, hurt.

"NO! No…" But I could tell he didn't believe me. "I… I just…"

Suddenly, Phineas' eyebrows furrowed. "Did you three put her up to this?" He said angrily, turning to Ferb.

"What?" I exclaimed.

"What did Buford tell you?" He exclaimed.

"Why are you getting so angry?" I asked, stunned.

"Let me get this straight…" Phineas said, frustrated. "You think I need a girlfriend… and the guys, they all think… they all think… ok, it doesn't matter what they think! I'm not upset! I'm not lonely! I'm not acting any different than I have before!"

"Yeah, that's the problem." I said, under my breath.

Phineas opened his mouth like he was about to say something, then closed it. Then he opened it, and closed it again. "You're all… just… just… mean." He finished lamely, and he stormed out too.

"Well, looks like three pissed off friends in less than ten minutes. Impressive." Ferb remarked.

"Why did he get so mad at me?" I cried. "He'll never let me set him up now! What did you guys say to him?"

"I didn't say anything." Ferb stated. I glared at him. "Well, we may have implied that every single one of his friends really thinks that he needs to just… get laid."

"What? Who said that? It was Buford, wasn't it? We don't all think that!" Ferb arched an eyebrow at me. "What? I don't. Relationships aren't all about sex. When I was in love with Phineas, when I was with Phineas, I didn't even think about it."

"Was that because you didn't want to or because you knew Phineas wasn't going to?" Ferb asked dryly.

"I… I don't know." I said. "It was probably because of you." I said weakly. "I was so, so in love with you by then."

"My Bella." He kissed me gently.

"But now that you say that, I don't know! I don't know! Because now that I'm in a non-Phineas relationship, I… I would go nuts without doing it. But with Phineas?" Now I just had to contemplate this. The rest of us were all just… horndogs. If we weren't doing our partners, we were going out on dates or talking about guys or girls or relationships or having one-night-stands or being friends-with-benefits! Phineas didn't do any of that. He was a baby compared to his friends. He needed that girlfriend. He…

"Ferb… yeah, he needs to get laid."

That stupid particle physics day, that additional realization, had made the girlfriend mission all the more important. Although, as more days went by, I still hadn't found anyone. Ferb seemed less inclined to help me with this and more inclined to want to do… other things. Allegedly, the honeymoon phase, the good part, in a relationship is supposed to like, end. After a few months, heck, after a few weeks, much less a year, you aren't supposed to still be flirting and spending all of your time with each other. You're not supposed to be thinking about your partner every minute of every day. You're not supposed to jump on each other the second they step into a room. Well, I guess we're permanently honeymooning.

"Mmm, baby, remember what we're doing now?" I giggled. I slid my hands up his bare chest.

"Of course. Ladies first." He growled.

He pushed me down onto my bed and slid off my panties. Ferb gently covered my inner thigh with kisses. Oh god. I was so turned on right now. His tongue flicked, and it caused me to arch my back a little and twist my body. "Ferb!" Then, there was the irritating noise of the phone ringing. He did it again and I moaned. Of course, the goddamn phone was kind of killing me. "Don't stop!" I commanded him. I grabbed the phone. "WHAT?" I yelled at the poor unfortunate soul on the other end.

"Uh, hey, Isabella." Gretchen said timidly.

"Gretch…" I panted. Probably not the best idea to answer while I was being flicked, and licked, and suckled, and swirled, "…Ooooh." I moaned.

"Are you ok?" She asked.

"Yeah," I said weakly. "Yeah, yeah, yeah… sorry for yelling at you… oh GOD."

"Isabella, just called to remind that we're all, the girls, coming over to my place tonight."

I felt the shockwaves of pleasure hit me, and I think I might have left Earth. I was just a trembling sweaty mess. "M-kay." I could barely get it out.

Ferb crawled up next to me. "Your turn." He whispered.

"And next time… could you two just… finish first… and call me back?"

"What?" I exclaimed.

"Say hi to Ferb for me." She giggled and hung up.

"Eeep!" I squealed, putting the phone down. "That wasn't horrifically embarrassing, at all!"

"So, who was it?" He asked playfully, although he already knew.

"It was Gretchen." I said. "You know, it's my fault. I'm the dumbass who thought I could get away with being tongue-fucked on the phone. I bet you could pull it off."

He nodded. "Yup. Let's call her back and try."

I hit him, laughing. "You idiot! Anyway, I have to get dressed and go to hang out with the Fireside Girls soon."

"Alright." He sat up. "Should I leave?"

"Wait!" I grabbed his arm. "Remember? Mmm… it's my turn now."

* * *

"Gretch… you're not going to tell the girls…" I brushed some of my hair awkwardly out of my face as I helped her set up the drinks and snacks for everyone. It wasn't like I would be mortified. The thing is, even though Ferb and I weren't huge PDA people, everyone, and I mean, EVERYONE, knew exactly how bad we had it for each other, so stuff like this was never surprising. But, still, I didn't need any more Adyson torture in my life.

"What? That your boyfriend was eating you out?"

"Gretchen!" We both started laughing.

"Isabella," She rolled her eyes. "Why would I tell them that?"

"I don't know." I said. "Because none of us seem to be able to keep a goddamn secret in this group."

"Well, I consider it highly unlikely that anyone will care about this information… especially since we all know he's done it a million times by now."

"Shut up!" I said laughing.

She giggled. "Ok, I'm not going to tease you. I just want to say, I have no plans on spilling any secrets you want to keep."

"Thanks Gretch. We all love you." I said.

Gretchen was the bomb. She was way more logical than Ginger and just way nicer than Adyson. She was always my perfect brainy assistant best friend, with the shiny auburn hair and sparkly sapphire eyes. I loved always having her by my side. She was just the kind of person you wanted by your side. The kind of person every girl wants as a best friend and every guy wants as a girlfriend. Ha… wait a minute…

"Gretch…" I stared at her for a while. "When's the last time you've been out on a date?"

"Well… why do you ask?" She asked suspiciously.

"No reason." I said.

It had been forever and a day since I remember Gretchen going out with anyone. And I had seen her been asked out a few times too! She just tended to turn people down. I don't know what she was looking for. Gretchen was so pretty and sweet and… grounded.

I was going set up Gretchen and Phineas. It was perfect! It couldn't be more perfect. There wasn't a single girl more together than Gretchen, and Phineas so desperately needed a girlfriend. They were total opposites and that's what they needed. I don't care if they both said they didn't want to be with anyone, I was doing it! And Ferb was helping me!

"Hey hey hey!" Holly called, as she and the girls came strolling in.

"Isabella, you look pretty." Milly complimented me.

"Oh, thanks." I glanced down. "Ha, Ferb told me to wear this dress."

"Aww." Milly said.

"Mr. and Mrs. Perfect strike again." Adyson said.

"Ooo, that means he was with you this morning." Katie crooned.

"Of course he was." Adyson rolled her eyes. "If Isabella and Ferb did not screw each other every day, the world would like, stop rotating, I am not even kidding!"

"Just… go back to texting Buford!" I declared. She violently blushed. HA! Got her!

"Ooo, Addy and Buford!" The girls all crooned.

"Fuck all of you!" She exclaimed.

I giggled. Adyson and Buford weren't like the rest of us, at all. Baljeet and Ginger… girl with desperate crush on guy since they were kids who inevitably got together. Me and Phineas… girl with desperate crush on guy since they were kids who inevitably got together. Candace and Jeremy… girl with desperate crush on guy since they were kids who inevitably got together. Ferb and Vanessa… guy with desperate crush on girl since they were kids who inevitably got together. Seeing a pattern here? But Adyson and Buford… Adyson and Buford had never had "crushes" on each other. Adyson had more boyfriends and crushes than I could remember (and, excluding Ferb, they were all losers). Buford's "type" was female, period. They practically gagged at the idea of dating each other, even though they flirted all the time. But, if you asked any member of the gang the question, which two of us will undeniably end up a couple in the future… by now, I think all of us would say Buford and Adyson.

"Um, are you ok, Ginger?" Gretchen asked. I just noticed, she hadn't said one word since she walked in.

"Me? Me? I'm fine." She said.

"Yeah… what exactly happened between you and Baljeet the other night?" I asked. "Did it end as ugly as we thought it might?"

"No!" She said, frustrated. "It ended fine. I'm not mad at him or anything. It's just… guys… fucking MISHTI is coming back? Why?"

"Oh, Ginger…" I sighed. "You've been stuck on this for years. Come on! You and Baljeet are the perfect couple, not me and Ferb."

"Yeah." Gretchen said. "Baljeet is your boyfriend. You should trust him."

"I trust him. It's just… have you seen the pictures of her online?"

"Ginger…" I gave her a look. "My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, his first love, is Vanessa. Vanessa."

"But…"

"Vanessa! And it drives me crazy ok, because she is goddamn beautiful, and talented, and rich, and he is still close to her in a lot of ways. But, Ginger, when Ferb walks in a room, it doesn't matter how many Vanessas are in there, he can only see one girl; me. And we can all tell… Baljeet only has eyes for Ginger." I finished.

"Aw, Izzy!" She hugged me.

I had given a beautiful speech, but in the pit of my stomach I still remembered what Phineas had said. In this scenario, Ginger wasn't Isabella, she was Vanessa. Maybe Baljeet all this time had secretly only had eyes for Mishti the way Ferb had for me.

"Hey, Isabella…" Adyson nudged me towards the kitchen. We both snuck away from the group into it. "Could I ask you something?"

"What, Addy?" I asked.

"Hmm," She said. "Maybe I shouldn't say anything."

"What?" I could tell I sounded too eager now. She had peaked my interest.

"Well," She looked at her fingernails casually. "I was going to ask you… Do you think Phineas would go for me?"

My mouth literally dropped open. "What!" I exclaimed. "You can't like Phineas!"

She gave me a look. "I thought you were over him? Because, you know, you're fucking his brother."

"No, it's just…" I stammered. "YOU can't like Phineas!"

Adyson likes Phineas? What? He's so not her type. Adyson has always gone for guys on the "bad boy" spectrum. Every single one of the guys she's ever liked has been "bad". They've all been the kind to wear all black or play in a punk band or ride motorcycles or have nasty piercings and tattoos. I mean, I literally just described Toby. Even Buford, who she's been flirting with since forever, ditched class, swears, and is the definition of a bully. Heck, even Ferb, who she had a crush on last year, is pretty sarcastic and cynical sometimes. But PHINEAS? The boy who always has a smile on his face and can see the bright side in anything, the definition of nerd and goody-two-shoes?

I mean, if she likes him… NO! I cannot set up Phineas with Adyson Sweetwater! Uggh! The thought made me shudder. Phineas was such an innocent boy and she was so… insane! She would probably turn him into her lapdog and make him do all sorts of stuff for her, build all sorts of stuff for her. And, after being Phineas' girlfriend, it's safe to say that, he is not a sexy guy. He's really cute, but I don't know, I'm pretty sure Adyson is into some crazy sex games. Oh my god, it would be so bad! No, no, he's better off with Gretchen.

"When did this start?" I exclaimed.

"I dunno…" She said. "He's just such a cutie!"

"I know, but… Adyson, he's Phineas!"

She gave me another look. "Isabella, you can't keep hogging Phineas and Ferb, ok, you only get one."

"That's not what I meant!" I said, exasperated. "He's… Phineas. He's not your type of guy. I mean… do you really think Phineas is going to… pin you down and tie you up when you want him to?" I whispered. I shuddered. "I'm sorry, I have to go throw up now, because of that sentence."

"I'll just have to change him then." Adyson said.

"What?" I exclaimed. "That's not going to happen."

"Is that a… challenge?"

"NO!"

"Challenge accepted!" She stated, as she left the kitchen.

"NO! Adyson, no! I said no! FUCK."

* * *

 **LOLZ. So there's the physics metaphor guys... the theory is actually Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella. And gravity is ... ? I'm guessing you know what the guys' subplots are now. Buford has a "thing" with Adyson, Baljeet's stuck between Ginger and Mishti, and Phineas is the Bachelor. Who will get a rose, lol? If it were up to him, probably no one. Ha ha... again... if you've read Catch 21... BUT... if you know my Adyson... BUT BUT BUT... if you know ME... LOLZ. As for Ferbella, ah, we'll get there. Right now... they're still honeymooning.**

 **But, honestly, I have no idea where this might go. Suggestions? I'm serious... if you've ever wanted me to write something (NOT PHINABELLA! Ok... um, I'm not gonna lie... there could be some Phinabella in this story. AAAAAHHHHHH! KILL ME!), go ahead, this could go ANYWHERE at this point. Review please!**


	5. Yiddish

**Aw, my little pervs. How many private messages I** **received after last post about your sick fantasies... You lot know who you are... Man up and write them as reviews, lol.**

* * *

I gently dabbed myself with a couple spots of cologne and ran my comb through my hair. How did I look? I was wearing dark jeans and a dark blue button down shirt. I looked good enough. We weren't going anywhere fancy tonight or anything.

"Hey," Phineas was sitting in front of the TV. He looked up at me. "You going somewhere? Wait," He said, before I could respond. "Date with Isabella, right?" I nodded. "Of course. Great. That's awesome! You know what else… I just had a great idea… why don't you go and hang out with Buford and Baljeet too? And continue to talk… about me!"

"I think you might be acting a little immature about this, Phineas." I said.

"Immature? I'm not immature! You're immature!"

He's an idiot. I rolled my eyes as I opened the apartment door, to face… Gretchen.

"Um, hi, Ferb." I waved.

"YOU'RE THE IMMATURE ONE, FERB… Oh, hi Gretchen." Phineas said awkwardly. "What are you doing here… outside our apartment?"

"Actually, I was waiting for Isabella." She said.

As if on cue, Isabella opened her door, and came out, wearing a pretty dress and all ready for date-night. "Hi guys."

"Hi Iz, you kind of called me over?" Gretchen said awkwardly. "Said it was necessary?"

"Oh, you thought I meant tonight? Oh no, Gretchen, no I can't! Ferb and I have a date!" She said coyly. "We've gotta go. But, maybe… I have an idea, you can stay here and hang out with Phineas!"

"Bella." I said, under my breath.

"Yeah!" She continued. "I mean, you're both free. Anyway, Ferb, let's go!" She grabbed my arm aggressively and dragged me away.

"Ha ha," She said under her breath, as she hit the elevator button. "They'll be shtupping in no time."

"What?" I exclaimed.

"It's Jewish… Yiddish… just, Ferb, they'll be together." She said.

"So the one girl on the planet you had to pick was my ex-girlfriend?" I questioned.

Gretchen and I had been another supposedly "perfect" couple. Everybody had thought Ferb and Gretchen would be so cute together, although that was probably because they thought, Isabella and Phineas are made for each other, so their best friends must be made for each other too. Gretchen and I liked each other. We had liked each other a lot. But there had never been any… spark. I know we were only in high school, but I most definitely felt a spark with Vanessa that I didn't feel with Gretchen. And, of course, Isabella outranked them all. The breakup had been completely clean and mutual. Still, it was weird picturing her with Phineas even though I was now with "his girl".

"I know." She made a face. "But you didn't want to help, and it is so hard trying to find someone for Phineas. He needs a girl who is sweet and down-to-Earth, and most importantly, grounded. She needs to be the one in touch with reality when his head is in the clouds; that's what will make her his other half. And I think Gretchen can be that girl."

I shrugged. "Alright, love, whatever you say. What sounds good for dinner?"

"I'm thinking… seafood." She said, as we stepped outside.

"Good choice." I nodded.

"That same place we went to last month?" She asked. "We've gotta go back, it's too good. And it's in walking distance. I love the city." She took my arm and sighed as we walked. "Oh, my baby. Did I say I love you yet today?"

"Maybe?"

"I love you." She purred.

"I love you too." I said gently.

We got a table for two and ordered our food. Even though this wasn't a fancy date night, there were still candles, wine, and the very last glimpses of an ending sunset we could see very clearly, since we had an outdoor table.

"This is great!" Isabella said happily. "I love date night."

"Well, like I promised you, my love," I said. "I will continue to take you out on 'fluffy-puffy-lovey-dovey-ooey-gooey' dates until we're old and grey."

She giggled. "Ferb! Oh, even after all these months, even after all these years… you're still so charming. And… if you counter that with another compliment, I'll have to kill you, or kiss you."

"Either sounds fine." I smiled.

"Mmm." She smiled. "Good to know."

"So, what has my darling been up to this week… besides her normal scheming?" I asked.

"Oh… Oh! Um, don't tell Baljeet this, but Ginger is really freaked out about Mishti coming. Like, really freaked out and upset. I told her a million times that she shouldn't be, but she's so worried." Isabella said. Well, that was ludicrous. Yes, we knew that Mishti was coming, and about Baljeet's close relationship with her, and had seen his fight with Ginger afterwards, but what the girls didn't know was what he had told us guys afterwards. Isabella clearly saw something in my eyes. "Tell me what you know!" She said. "It's something about Baljeet and/or Ginger and/or Mishti, isn't it?"

I winced a little. "It's private."

Isabella groaned. "Ferb, last year, you and I were literally doing the most intimate and secret thing two people could possibly do. And, you know what, even though they never told the group… Baljeet and Ginger totally talked about us to each other!"

"You're right." I said. She was right. Although, they had originally just been trying to kind of crack a mystery, they pretty much just talked about us, and then after they learned the secret, decided we were in love, and turned everybody against us, and Phineas too, when we started dating other people. "Well… Baljeet is going to tell Ginger he's in love with her." I said, taking a bite off my fork afterwards.

Isabella's face broke out into a huge smile. "Oh my gosh!"

"So there's really no need for Ginger to worry." I said. "But you can't tell Ginger! Or any of the girls!" I said quickly.

"No, no, I won't! Oh, yay!" She squealed. "I love it! I love them! I love love!"

I smiled. "Remember when we used to be a little more cynical?"

She sighed. "Years of heartbreak will do that to you. Oh, why, why didn't we end up together sooner?"

"Hmm, who do you want to give credit to in our relationship? Milly, for springing the idea? Monty, for really pissing me off that day? Vanessa and Phineas, for constantly breaking our hearts? Or…"

"Minka!" Isabella exclaimed. We both started laughing. "None of us have ever met her, still! What the hell? Meredith stopped by one day this summer, remember, she's cool." She shook her head. "If I hadn't seen Minka that one day, I would say she didn't exist!"

I laughed. "Phineas has a couple wedding pictures with them."

"Aww." She sighed. "So, again, a girl he's made a close connection to, Merry, is a lesbian. Dammit! There's always a catch!" I laughed. "Yeah, well, I guess I'm just going to have to name our daughter Minka then, since she brought us together."

Our daughter. Everyone, even us, had teased at this a million times. The jokes like "They're making babies." or "Just marry her already!" or even the constant "Mr. and Mrs. Perfect". Yes, I would marry Isabella. Yes, I would want her to be the mother of my children. And I think that was the scary part… I wanted it. Not now, not this second, but I still would like it. And, I think she would too. But, the thing is… we had thought these same things before. With Vanessa and Phineas.

"Let's hold up on that one." I laughed. "Minka Garcia-Shapiro-Fletcher?" We both started laughing.

"Yeah," She smiled. "I love date night. Do relationships always end up all… fluffy?"

"What do you mean?" I responded.

"Last year, our relationship was so… I would get so embarrassed, and irritated, and jealous, and irrational, and stressed, and angry with you all the time. And now… you're my baby."

"I think a big part of that was how we were keeping secrets from everyone, including each other. Yes, there was a lot of… sexual tension. But, if you're implying that the passion is gone, then I would strongly disagree." I smirked.

"Oh, Ferb!" She rolled her eyes. "No! I was just wondering… even if two people seem really bad for each other, could it still turn out nicely?"

"Um… maybe?" Are we an example for that? Except, Isabella is perfect for me and I her. I can't really think of an example I knew… "Um… Vanessa and Monty are getting married." Except she left him once already. "Why are you asking me this?"

"Ooohh…" She stalled for a few minutes, and then blurted it out. "ADYSON LIKES PHINEAS."

"What?" I exclaimed.

"It's true, she said it to me herself." Isabella said.

"It never ends with that one." I said, more to myself.

"So, if she likes him, and we're looking to match him up, I should set them up, right? Because, maybe it could work? Even though they have nothing in common, and she would totally bully him and it would be awful!" She exclaimed.

"Yeah." I said cautiously. "Except… do not do that."

"I know!" She squealed. "New rule! Adyson cannot end up with Phineas!"

Jesus, that sounded… awful. I can't think of anyone worse for Phineas than Adyson Sweetwater. That girl was out of her mind. Like, more than Isabella-Ginger stalker levels out of her mind. When she wasn't tripping over her own two feet and probably falling off a cliff or something of that nature, she was always either at the beck and call of some atrocious misfit, or recently dumped and hunting for her latest beau. There was a saying that opposites attract, and Adyson and Phineas were most certainly opposites. Adyson was always saying something cutting or sarcastic to mock everybody else, while Phineas was continuously positive and kind, even to our group of obnoxious twenty-somethings who probably don't even have optimism in their vocabulary anymore. But, I don't think that was the kind of opposite Phineas needed. I didn't want an emotional kick to the ribs from Adyson Sweetwater every day to be the thing keeping Phineas in touch with reality.

"Yeah, well, this isn't good, is it?" I stated.

It's safe to say that once Adyson Sweetwater likes someone, she will not back off until he flat out turns her down, is with someone else, or is with her. It won't just fade away. Most guys dump Adyson. Adyson never quite got around to asking me out, so I never had to say no, thank god, she's a little scary sometimes. Additionally, it was pretty well established that I was "Isabella's" by then, and Adyson would never want to hurt Isabella or her girlfriends. I don't think Adyson would try to take anyone from anybody, actually, despite it all. Well, I don't think Phineas would really have it in him to say no to Adyson, and with Isabella gone, there isn't exactly any girl staking a claim on him, so that leaves him as… Adyson's next boyfriend.

"NO!" Isabella exclaimed, as we grabbed our stuff and left. "We've got to go and check on Phineas and Gretchen."

"What if they're… what did you say?"

"Ferb!"

"Shtupping?"

"Ferb!" She exclaimed again, blushing.

"I know what I want to do with you when we get home." I said mischievously.

"Ferb!" She squealed. "You're such a bad boy! You pretend to be so sweet and innocent and gentle…"

"So do you!" I exclaimed.

"No, Ferb, everybody knows I'm a mess! Anyway," She flipped her hair. "You know you like it when Naughty Isabella comes out to play." She giggled seductively.

"And you know you like it…" I lowered my voice. "When Bad Ferb cares to join her."

"Ooohh no, boy, no you don't." We had finally reached the building. She stopped and turned to stare at me. "You're not getting into these panties. We're going to check on Phineas, we're not… we're not…" She whimpered weakly.

"Bella." I whispered.

"Ohhh… race ya!" She exclaimed, and we both made a mad dash to the elevator.

She pushed the button, but then I pushed her against the elevator wall. I felt the gentle pressure of her lips on mine.

"Ferb," I felt her hands sliding around on my back. "They… have… cameras… in… here…" She said, between kisses.

"It's ok." I murmured. "We won't be in here long." Nothing Phineas and I do ever seems to be caught on camera anyway.

The doors pinged open. "Hurry, hurry!" Isabella exclaimed. "A) We have to check on Phineas, and B) If we don't get to a bed quickly, Naughty Isabella will become Angry Isabella."

"Ok, ok!" She was basically dragging me.

"Phineas!" She knocked on the door loudly. "Phineas!"

"I can open it." I whispered.

"No! We can't just barge in on them!" She whispered. "Phineas!"

"Hey," He opened the door. "How was date night?"

"Lovely, as always." She walked in quickly. "Where's Gretchen?"

"Gretchen?" He responded. "She left hours ago. Literally right after you two."

"What? Why?" Exclaimed Isabella.

"Well, she had stuff to do." Phineas said.

"But, but… You two could've hung out…" I was hoping oblivious Phineas wouldn't realize what us leaving him alone with a girl implied we were doing.

He gave her a weird look. "Yeah… we could have. I guess. Maybe next time."

There was a really loud annoying buzzing coming from his phone. "What's that?" Isabella asked.

"Huh? Text messages." Phineas replied.

"From who?" She asked.

"Adyson."

"ADYSON!" Isabella cried. "Give me that!" She grabbed his phone. "TWENTY text messages from Adyson! Have you been answering them?"

"Not really. I answered once at some point, but I wasn't really on my phone all night, and they just kept building up." He shrugged. "I don't know, must be a girl thing, right? Candace loves texting. I bet Adyson missed you since you were out and had to text other people."

"Aaahh!" Isabella threw her hands up in frustration. "You," She pointed at Phineas. "Stop texting Adyson. You," She reached out and literally grabbed my collar. "My bedroom. NOW." I gave Phineas a look that said: if she kills me because of you… you will still suffer. And she pulled me out of there, leaving him scared of both of us.

"Stupid Adyson! Stupid Phineas!" A clearly frustrated Isabella stormed into her own apartment.

"Isabella…"

"She's ruining everything! She always does that!" Isabella exclaimed.

"Isabella, you can't force these kinds of things." I said gently. Isabella has always tried to force love and play matchmaker… but before she was just matching Phineas and herself, over and over and over.

"I'm not forcing anything, Ferb! I just want my best friend to be happy!" She snapped.

"I know. But at this particular point in time, it's more like you're just fighting with Adyson unnecessarily."

"Shut up Ferb! I didn't drag you in here to get lectured!"

"Then why did you drag me in here?" I asked.

"Why do you think?" She put her pink lips in a little pout. "Where's the bad boy at?"

I smiled. "And here I thought Sweetwater ruined the mood." I said, slipping off my shoes.

"Grr… she did! I can't believe her, she's so– "

I grabbed her forcefully and she gasped. "So…" I said playfully. "How bad do I need to be?

Our mouths were on each other, hot and heavy. She began undoing my shirt's buttons. The dress fabric was too thick and stiff for me to go over or under, to my exasperation, in addition to a high neckline and longer length.

"Please… don't… rip any more of my clothes." She panted. We both laughed a little at that. "Here." She turned around. "Zipper."

I pulled it down, but the dress still seemed stiff as she pulled it over her head. I took this time to quickly take off my shirt and jeans.

"Mmm, Ferb." She pushed me down onto her bed and I forced my tongue back into her mouth. She tastes like the red wine we had tonight. She ground hard against me, and the bed squeaked with it.

"Oh, I need a new bed!" Isabella cried.

"I don't know, I've become fond of this one." I whispered.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…" Isabella said. She undid her bra and tossed it to the side. "Baby, I am dying for you."

"Ok, ok…" I pulled my boxers off. Isabella seemed particularly impatient with everyone tonight. She had this really frustrated pout on her face, which was goddamn adorable. "You know, frowning will give you wrinkles."

"Ferb!"

Ok, what do they say? Don't poke the bear. She moaned as I got on top of her. I plunged deep into her and she moaned loudly. She wanted bad? This wasn't us sweetly making love to each other. This was white-hot fiery passion between Naughty Isabella and Bad Ferb. I found myself going as wildly as I could: crashing into her once, twice, three times, four times, five times. Isabella was running her long nails down my back, swearing and moaning loudly. And we definitely left more than one love bite on each other.

"Mmm… you're so good." She giggled. "I mean, you're so bad."

"Thanks." I responded.

"In case you didn't know… um… shtupping means fucking."

"I figured."


	6. Meet Miss Mishti

I heard the vague, but annoying sound of a phone ringing off in the distance. Then, I realized, it wasn't in the distance. It was right next to me.

"Please tell me you didn't set an alarm." I murmured to my boyfriend.

"Sweetheart, I didn't. That's your phone." He said irritably, eyes still closed.

"Oh." I sat up. Ferb turned under the covers to the other side. "Hello?"

"Izzy!" It was Ginger. She sounded a little frantic.

"Ginger…" I yawned. "Why are you calling me so early in the morning? I kind of had an… active night."

"God, what is wrong with you two? You know, I should be grateful I didn't call when you were in the middle of it."

"Oh my god, Gretchen told you about the other day, didn't she?" I exclaimed. That lying bitch.

"No… it was Buford actually. Stop answering the phone when you're having sex and you wouldn't have this problem. Because I'm thinking we're talking about two different events." She said dryly. "Anyway, I don't give a crap about you and Ferb… I'm totally freaking out, Izzy!"

"Why?" I asked.

"Mishti's coming back today, remember!" She cried. "I'm calling an emergency Fireside Girls meeting."

I sighed. I couldn't tell her about Baljeet's confession, no matter how much I wanted to and how it would fix this problem. "Ok, but can it please be like, after twelve?"

"No, no!" She cried. "As soon as possible! Do you know what time her flight is getting here?"

"Yeah, actually." I said guiltily. "Four." I hadn't told Ginger why I was so on top of the Mishti flight schedule.

"Great, great, you're staying with me until then." She said.

"No, Ginger, I can't." I mumbled.

"Why?" She asked.

"Because, um, I'm going with Baljeet and the guys to pick up Mishti from the airport."

"What!" She exclaimed.

"You know I'm Team Ginger." I said softly. "But, like, you know, it's just… what me and the guys are doing today. You get it?"

"NO." She said.

"Oh, Ginger…"

"I'll see you at twelve. My place. BYE." She hung up.

"Ferb," I shook him gently. "Ferb. Get up."

He growled. "You never get up when I try to wake you up."

"Sorry. I would have loved to stay spooning in bed all day, but now, apparently, I have to go to Ginger's. And you don't live here." I ruffled his hair. "My Ferbie."

He lifted his adorable sleepy face and smiled at me. "Ferbie?"

"Hey," I shrugged. "Since when do you call me sweetheart?"

"That might have been a bit sarcastic." He said.

I got out of bed. Ooo, I felt it now, I felt last night. The general hip and crotch area was sore, and then there were most definitely hickeys that stung a tiny bit. I couldn't tell Ferb. He'd freak out. He always freaks out. If it were up to him, he wouldn't even let me get a paper cut, so he always gets upset when he realizes he's bruised or bitten or hurt me in any way in the heat of the moment. If I told him, he'd panic, and then there'd be no more bad boy for me for a looooonng time. And that's no fun. I guess I'm a real hypocrite. I mock Adyson for her bad boy boyfriends and pretend to be the good girl, but really… Bad Ferb is delicious.

Adyson… Fuck. "Get out." I declared. "I'm kicking you out. Put your clothes on. Make sure Phineas is not texting Adyson."

He grumbled to himself as he got dressed. I searched through my closet for what to wear. No dress today… I picked a really soft skirt and really soft shirt, just because I was sore.

"And remember, today is Mishti day." I called after him.

* * *

Us girls were back in Ginger's loft, of course. Except, it didn't look anything like it did the other day when we had all been here, its normal, elegant, stylish self. Neither did Ginger. They were both a total mess.

"Oh my god, Ginger, this place is a mess. When's the last time you swept?" Adyson asked. "Or cleaned, like, anything?"

"I don't know!" Ginger exclaimed. This Mishti thing really was driving her insane. I had no idea what she was thinking, but it looked like every passing minute was making her crazier. Ginger might be a little ditzy, but she was normally very put together. She was wearing sloppy sweats, her eyes looked crazy, she was wearing no makeup, and her normally silky hair looked stringy and tangled.

"When's the last time you brushed your hair?" Katie muttered.

"Oh, can it, Rainbow Brite." I said defensively, referencing Katie's own constantly changing hair, which currently happened to be, as I said, all seven colors of the rainbow in a braid. She looked like a hippie.

Poor Ginger. I was dying to tell her how much Baljeet was in love with her, but this was just one thing I could not share. How the tables had turned… I had looked like this… way worse than this… before I finally ended up with Ferb, and Ginger, confidently with Baljeet, had been the one helping me.

"What can we tell you babe, that we haven't already?" Adyson said, in a comforting, yet harsh, tone.

"Baljeet is in love with you. He's really really in love with you, not Mishti." I said. I said nothing about a confession. "Mishti is nothing more than his best friend."

"What proof is there that Baljeet and Mishti love each other? Zip." Gretchen said.

"Plus, Ginger, you're smoking hot, and he's… Baljeet." Holly said. We giggled. "He's not going to give you up for anybody. Not even Mishti."

"And we've seen her pics online too, Ginge." Milly said. "She ain't no Ginger Hirano."

"I mean, come on, Ginger, how can you be jealous of ANYBODY? Everybody in the entire world is jealous of you! Even your sister, who looks just like you, is still jealous of you!" I said.

"Aww… guys!" She cried. We all rushed into a group hug.

"Now… please get yourself together!" Adyson declared. "You don't want your man… or Mishti… to see you like this, do you?"

"No." Ginger stated. "No, I don't. Bye girls."

"Bye!" We all filed out.

"Ok," I said. "That went well. She seems better."

"Wanna go get coffee now?" Holly asked.

"Yeah, sure." Milly said. "You girls in?"

The girls nodded, but I glanced at my phone. "No, I have to go home, or the guys will leave without me."

"Where are you going?" Gretchen asked.

"Um, to the airport. To pick up Mishti."

"Does Ginger know you're doing that?" Katie gasped.

"Of course she does." I said. "Look, Mishti is just as much Phineas', Ferb's, Buford's, and my friend as anybody else's, and we wanted to come get her at the airport too. We always do stuff together as a group. Sorry if that bothers anyone."

"Well… this could be good." Adyson said. "You'll be the one to slap Baljeet when, I mean, IF, he starts flirting with her."

"He's not going to…"

"Romantic cruise…" She crooned.

"Fuck you, Adyson, that didn't mean anything. They were eleven. She didn't even want him then. It was all Phineas' fault." Stupid Phineas. Clowns as makeup artists. Dangling his best friend in a diaper over the dinner table. Jesus Christ, no wonder he didn't have a girlfriend.

"Yeah, that little cutie."

"ADYSON." I growled.

"Addy, are you coming with us?" Holly said, tiredly.

"Sure." She said.

Good. Thank god. But so many thoughts about this were still rolling around. Ginger would just die if Baljeet broke her heart. I couldn't let that happen. I just couldn't. He can't be in love with Mishti, right?

"Guys, I'm here." I called, as I opened the unlocked door to the boys' apartment. They were all waiting for me. Ferb kissed me. "Hey, baby. So is everybody ready?"

"Yes. And her flight is on time, so let us move out." Baljeet declared eagerly.

"So, um… you've been in touch with Mishti this whole time, right?" I asked him, as we got in the car.

"Of course." He replied.

"Yeah." I said. "Um, the guys told me you were going to say 'I love you' to Ginger. I hope that's ok."

"Oh… it is fine. Do you think…?"

"I think she loves you, Baljeet." I responded. He seemed to light up with my response. And so did I. Ok, he loves her and she loves him.

"Any chances you'll coming running to us for help again now that Mishti's here?" Phineas joked.

"Unlikely." Baljeet laughed.

"Oh, the first time was just because she 'turned into a girl'." I said. "What could she have done now that would scare him so much?"

"She could be pregnant." Buford joked.

"Buford!" Phineas exclaimed.

"Buford, just… watch the road." Ferb said.

"Jesus, can't any of you take a joke?" He asked.

I think we were really excited by the time the car got to the airport. It was true, we hadn't seen Mishti Patel in about fifteen years, and the first time, we had spent one day together. And I had pretty much just been glowering over the facts that she had gotten my romantic date and that Phineas was so romantically inept. So, I was really curious. None of us are the same kids we were that summer. Except for Phineas. That boy will never change.

"Do you see her yet?" Phineas asked.

"Remember, Baljeet…" I turned him towards me. "You have a girlfriend."

"Isabella, I have been nothing but friends with this girl since we were little kids." Baljeet said confidently.

There was a stream of Indian people coming forward, but then we saw an eager arm waving, and calling, "Baljeet! Baljeet!" And then all of us, with the exception of Phineas, could not look away.

"Oh… no." Baljeet said faintly.

"She's… she's…" I gasped.

"She's pretty." Phineas said simply.

"Pretty!?" Buford exclaimed. "She's a fox!"

Mishti had to be the hottest girl I had seen in recent years. She was… she was gorgeous! She could be the hottest girl I had ever seen. If we were shocked by how pretty she was when we were eleven, it was nothing now! Her hair was black, long, and silky, her makeup was perfect, her legs went on forever, and she was wearing a glittery outfit paired with strappy sandals that made her look like she had just walked out a magazine. Absolutely no photograph we had seen could do this girl justice. Ferb was doing his best not to stare at her and failing miserably, Buford was almost literally drooling and his eyes looked like they were going to pop right out of his head, and Baljeet looked like he was going to be sick.

"I am going to throw up." He said weakly.

"Baljeet… Ginger… girlfriend..." I reminded. "FERB!" I turned my attention to my own boyfriend.

"Sorry, sorry." He said awkwardly.

"HI GUYS!" Mishti was so excited. She was tugging a huge suitcase. "Baljeet!" She hugged him.

"Oh…" He mumbled. She was totally pressed against him. She had to at least be a C-cup. Oh jeez. "Mishti…" He pushed away. "You remember all my friends."

"Of course!" She brushed some hair out of her face. "Buford?" She pointed at him.

"Hug me! Hug me!" He exclaimed. She giggled, and gave him a hug. He took a whiff of her hair secretly from behind her back.

"Don't be creepy!" I mouthed. Buford released her.

"Phineas and Ferb!" She squealed in delight. She pulled them into a hug together. Stop touching my boyfriend, stop touching my boyfriend, stop touching my boyfriend…

"Isabella!" She hugged me too. She smelt like cinnamon. "I love being back in America with you all!"

"And we LOVE having you." Buford replied… still being creepy. Mishti tilted her head, slightly confused.

"Hey, Mishti, guess what?" I said, somewhat aggressively. I gripped Ferb's hand, hard. "Ferb's my boyfriend now."

Her face broke out into a smile. "Really? That's so great!"

"And Baljeet is dating my best friend Ginger! The Japanese one!" I said loudly.

"Aww… Baljeet!" She giggled. "I'm so happy for you!"

…She is so sweet. But Baljeet still looked like he was going to be sick.


	7. Queen of Cluelessness

**I didn't really have anything to say last time, since there aren't a lot of reviews, despite views... and I have been noticing this in a lot of stories. NO. I will not let this fandom die. *Gets defibrillators out***

 **So this pic was made for me by my girl Magical Blazze way back when, and since String Theory had a cover, I thought it would be neat to show it here. Go to Goody-II-Shoes on** **deviantart for all her cool stuff. But, feel free to keep on drawing, Silverbells and Ferbella fighters!**

* * *

Back in high school and college, between the four of us, Phineas, Buford, Baljeet, and I, any girl had always been able to find their perfect man. That was because we were just so absolutely different. Different nationalities, heights, body types, accents, personalities, etc. We had always been searching for something different too. I had always been the ladies' man; cool, calm, and suave… not out to get them, just charm them. Buford had always been the womanizer, hit or miss, and if successful, maybe the woman would get to see the thoughtful guy underneath. Phineas had been the sweetheart, not that he ever knew it. He would always be doing nice things and saying nice things to girls, winning them over. And Baljeet… Baljeet had always been the romantic. The real romantic. Something the then womanizing Buford and I, and still oblivious Phineas, couldn't touch. Baljeet's wish on Christmas as a little kid was to get a perfect kiss. If Isabella wanted to set someone up, if he were single, Baljeet would've volunteered. Baljeet was the ultimate in "sensitivity". It was only after a little while that a girl would realize Baljeet was clearly the best choice of the four… but it was always too late. So it was the strangest thing that the romantic was now finally in his perfect love story; ending up with the girl-next-door who always had a crush on him… when suddenly a new love story: reuniting with the beautiful childhood friend… was opening right in front of him.

"Ok, we're here!" Phineas said.

"Wow!" Mishti said excitedly. "Your building's so nice!"

"Yeah, so we'll go hang out at Baljeet's for a while, you'll get to meet the rest of the gang, and then, someone will drop you at your hotel, ok?"

"Thanks, Phineas! You're such a sweet boy!" She said. "Oh Baljeet! Isn't this great?"

"Great." He said weakly. "Just great."

"Baljeet." Isabella said sternly.

Remember what I said about the male brain? Well, Mishti made that part of the mind pretty hard to control. She was just… irresistible. Isabella had already caught me staring at her once, which meant I was in trouble tonight. Yay. I can only imagine what would happen if Ginger caught Baljeet staring at Mishti. Except he was the whole reason she was here. Honestly, to keep Ginger from popping a vein, I think we were all going to spend a lot more time with Mishti than we thought.

Baljeet opened the door to his apartment. The rest of the gang had been waiting in there. "Hello, everyone, this is Mishti."

"Hi!" She squealed. Everyone seemed to stall or do a double take just like we did.

"Mishti," Isabella said. "Holly, Milly, Katie, Adyson, Gretchen, and… Ginger. Baljeet's girlfriend."

"Ha… ha…" Ginger looked beautiful. She had done her hair and makeup nicely and was wearing a simple dress. But, of course, her face turned almost green when she saw how absolutely gorgeous Mishti was. "You're Mishti?"

"You're Baljeet's girlfriend! Took you long enough, Baljeet!" She giggled. "She's out of your league too."

"Shut up, Mishti." Baljeet laughed, but stopped when he realized he was awkwardly between the two of them.

"Oh, and these are our new friends, Kyle and Wynne." Isabella said.

"Hi!" She waved again.

The two of them scooted over to me in the midst of all the conversations. Kyle was also gazing at Mishti. Curse you male mind!

"That's Mishti?" Kyle whispered quietly to me. "Sweet baby Jesus…"

She was talking with Isabella and the girls. "You were a journalism major, Isabella?"

"Yeah." Isabella nodded.

"Me too!" She exclaimed.

"No way!" Isabella said. "Oh, that's so cool. Ha, we have a lot in common."

"I know!" Mishti said.

"Ferb, hate to put Ginger down, hate to put anyone down, hate to put myself down, but that girl is the hottest girl I have ever seen! Like, even I want to do her!" Wynne exclaimed.

"Nope… you just got hotter." Kyle said.

"Shut up Kyle, I was just making a point." Wynne said.

"That, right there, is the hottest girl we have ever met. Green, why didn't you tell us she was so… so… oh my god!" Kyle stared at her.

"I didn't know." I whispered. I resisted staring at her too.

Take the curvy figure and sultry mannerisms of Vanessa, combined with the sweet pink girly personality of Isabella, dipped in hot Indian spice, and gift wrapped for Baljeet, and you would have Mishti. She was undeniably sexy. Which was not a good thing, considering certain jealousy prone girlfriends around here.

"Oh, Baljeet, I love your house!" She said, fluttering her eyelashes. "And it's so nice to see all your friends again."

"Yeah." Baljeet said nervously. Ginger growled.

"And your girlfriend is so beautiful!" She said sweetly. "Oh, and Phineas and Ferb," She turned to us. "I can't wait to see what you guys do this time!"

"Oh, well, long term goal… I'm trying to crack the theory of everything." Phineas said.

Ginger rolled her eyes. "Oh Phineas, do you really think she'll understand that?"

"Actually Ginger," Mishti replied. "I majored in physics."

"What?" Ginger exclaimed. "But you and Isabella were just talking about how you two were journalism majors."

Mishti giggled. "Yeah. I did both. I'm a triple major. Journalism, physics, and fashion design."

"TRIPLE major?" Ginger said blankly.

"Wow." Phineas said, impressed.

"You always were brilliant, Mishti." Baljeet said fondly.

"Fashion design… wait, did you make this outfit?" Adyson exclaimed.

"Yeah." Mishti nodded. The girls all squealed.

"OMG, I love it!"

"Make one for me!"

"I want one!"

"Do you make all your clothes?"

"No," She laughed. "Not all of it. But, I do kind of… have a style." Indeed. She more or less looked like a Barbie doll. Not like that was a bad thing. She certainly could pull it off.

"But, you look like you stepped out of magazine! It's perfect!" Holly gushed.

Mishti laughed. "Thank you. Anyway, Phineas, particle or quantum physics, doesn't matter, it's all… what do you Americans say… my jam?" She started giggling again.

"Well, Ferb and I make a great fashion design team." Phineas joked.

"Ugh, everything is so girly right now!" Buford whined.

Ginger looked really upset. Maybe we should have told her Baljeet was in love with her… because Mishti Patel was just about perfect. "Um…" Ginger mumbled. "Hey Mishti… thumb war!" I highly doubt this would solve anything, but she was probably doing it to give herself some kind of pleasure.

"Uh…"

"Thumb war!" Ginger demanded. Mishti sighed. "One, two, three… ow, ow, ow!" She exclaimed, as Mishti beat her instantly.

"That was fucking quick." Buford said dryly.

"Oh, I don't typically lose… at anything." Mishti said wickedly.

"Is that a challenge?" Buford asked. "I am the king of thumb wars. Ask Dinnerbell."

"Don't do it, Mishti!" Phineas cried.

"Ready, princess? One, two, three… OW, OW, OW!"

"Not a princess," Mishti said confidently. "But the queen."

"Fuuuucck." Kyle said quietly.

"So, she's a genius, a writer, a designer, she kicks ass, she's super sweet, AND she looks like that?" Wynne whispered.

"Nope," Kyle said. "That is not the hottest girl we have ever met. That is the hottest girl in the world."

* * *

Mishti was now officially part of our group, and was readily accepted, simply because no one could find any flaw with her. She was perfectly girly for the girls, an awesome tomboy for the guys, and as an added bonus, a brilliant mind for us nerds. Baljeet and Mishti had instantly fallen back into their old friendship and were always together… or would always be together, were it not for Ginger. She made sure they spent limited time alone. Therefore, we had been having a lot more group nights. Which was somewhat a good thing, because we were starting to invite Django and Irving over more, to fight off the overwhelming female population.

"Alright!" Phineas said excitedly. "Tonight is… Ultimate Charades Night! Whoo!"

"What makes it Ultimate?" Kyle asked cautiously.

"You'll see." He said giddily. "Who's missing?"

"Baljeet and Mishti." Isabella said.

I noticed Ginger glowering. Just then though, our door opened, and they both came in laughing. Django tapped me on the shoulder and I heard the question I had gotten used to. "That's Mishti!?"

Irving groaned. "How can a gorgeous girl like that be with a geek like Baljeet?" Ignore the irony of who's speaking.

"Baljeet is dating Ginger." Django whispered.

"Oh shoot!" Irving replied. "I forgot!" Yeah. I think a lot of us were forgetting that. I hope Baljeet wasn't.

"Mishti, that's Irving and Django. I don't know if you met them the first time." Phineas said.

"Hi!" She said sweetly.

"Ok, ok, let's get to game night!" Ginger said, grabbing Baljeet and pulling him over to her.

"Right! So, Ultimate Charades…"

"What makes it Ultimate?" Wynne repeated the question. The people who had known Phineas longer seemed to be less afraid of the madness. Although I was a little surprised that Mishti hadn't said anything yet. I mean, he almost drowned her last time.

"First, we're gonna need teams."

"I call captain!" Buford said.

"Ok. How about girls versus guys?" Adyson said. "Mr. 'Girls Aren't Fun'."

"You're on!"

I rolled my eyes. When was Buford just going to admit he was nuts about Adyson? For the record, the pool was a decent amount by now. I wonder what couple we would bet on after Buford and Adyson do get together. Phineas and Gretchen? I almost felt like laughing, but Isabella was trying to make it happen. The horrible guilty thought then appeared… Baljeet and Mishti. Oh, Ferb, Ginger is your friend. But, if I had to actually make a bet… I would much sooner bet on Baljeet and Mishti than Phineas and Gretchen. Or, oh god, Phineas and Adyson.

"So, Team A…"

"Team Kickass Battalion." Buford declared.

"O…kay." Phineas said. "Will be me, Ferb, Kyle, Baljeet, Irving, Django, and captained by Buford. And Team…"

"Dressed to Thrill." Adyson said dramatically. The girls all started laughing.

"Ew." Buford said.

"Will be Isabella, Holly, Katie, Milly, Gretchen, Ginger, Wynne, Mishti, and captained by Adyson."

"They've got like three more people!" Kyle exclaimed.

"We don't need 'em." Buford said confidently.

"Now, um, Phineas… how do we play… Ultimate Charades?" Mishti asked cautiously.

Fast-forward about a half an hour and the game was getting crazy. It became pretty clear pretty quick that Ultimate Charades was the "Let's Take A Quiz" version of charades.

"Strawberry Jam! Strawberry Jam!"

"Dammit Baljeet, what part of that made you think it was Oprah?"

"Oh shit, Irving just fell down."

"Casablanca!"

"How am I supposed to do this without use of my hands, feet, or torso?"

"No talking!"

"Double or nothing!"

"I think it's pretty clear that…" Phineas said. "The girls win!"

"HA HA!" They laughed and high-fived.

"Ok, you had more people so you had an advantage, and we let you win, because you're girls." Buford said.

"Pick one excuse, Buford." Isabella said, rolling her eyes. "Either we won because we had an advantage or you let us win, don't use both."

"Also, there's a good deal of girlfriends in there that we don't want to upset." Buford said.

"Please." Adyson scoffed. "You don't EVER need to worry about that. What, you think Wynne is going to dump Kyle over charades?"

"I might." She joked.

"And don't even get me started on Mrs. Perfect. She'd sooner cut off her own arms than leave her husband." Adyson said.

"Oooh!" Isabella said, somewhat embarrassed. I opened my arms and she rushed into them.

"See?" Adyson smirked. Everyone giggled.

"Um, speaking of husbands… what's this wedding we're going to Ferb?" Django asked.

"Yeah!" Everyone reacted.

I thought for a moment about what to say. "My friend is getting married, and essentially asked me to help her fill up the wedding. So, it's a free party for all of you… no catch."

"Yeah… it's just weird." Holly said.

"Well, Vanessa has always been weird." Adyson said. "Always pick the Isabella, boys."

"Addy, shut up." Isabella said.

"So we're all going to this hotel and going to a big fancy wedding together? Cool!" Milly said.

Gretchen giggled. "Are we all planning hair and makeup appointments, girls?"

"Of course!" Katie exclaimed.

I suddenly noticed the one awkward person left out of the conversation. "Mishti…" I said gently. "You're more than welcome to come with us."

Everyone turned to the beauty, who had shyly been hanging her head during the conversation. "Of course you are!" Phineas exclaimed.

"I… We would never leave you all alone." Baljeet said.

"Vanessa specifically wanted as many people as possible! She'd love it if you came!" Isabella cried.

"And you'll have all of us to hang out with!" Phineas said. "We're not taking no for an answer."

"Oh, thank you, guys." She said sweetly. "Um, who is Vanessa?"

"Ferb's ex-girlfriend." Katie said bluntly. "OW!" She exclaimed, as Ginger kicked her.

"Oh, so, Mr. Fletcher, you're still friends with her?" Mishti asked cautiously.

Mishti was the sweetest girl in the world, but she was probably going to lead to me and Baljeet having no Isabella or Ginger for a month at this rate. Isabella pouted, and I nodded.

"That's actually great. I would rather have great friendships than great romances." Mishti fluttered her eyelashes. "Although, your relationships all seem perfect." She giggled. "I always had a feeling if I was going to end up with anyone, he'd have to be one of my friends."

Baljeet gulped, Ginger scowled, I felt the need to facepalm, and it seemed like oblivious Phineas might have a new rival in cluelessness.

* * *

 **If you think Mishti is a Mary-Sue, I don't see her that way. Ha, if you really want to know what character to picture as you read Mishti, how I'm writing Mishti... Lol, don't laugh... Miss Bianca from The Rescuers. You know, but human, and Indian accent instead of Hungarian. Really sweet, eloquent, beautiful, a little vain, "all eyes on her when she enters the room" type... with a thing for nerdy guys. As for obliviousness... who goes on all those dates on a romantic cruise and says "Weren't we just gonna hang out though?" Ha ha, maybe Phineas. Also, she's so pink and sweet like Isabella, and Indian and smart like Baljeet. Boom. Now you understand Mishti Patel.**


	8. The Soulmate Test

**Writing has been such a blast recently, and like the** **doof I am, I'm doing a bazillion stories at once again. I'm so into this though, I've got a plan, it'll get more interesting... unless you all hate it. Then, curse me.**

* * *

"Is it wrong that I kind of want my dress to be a surprise?" Katie asked.

"No," Gretchen said. "But you can't. We need to find something to work with your hair."

"Oh." Katie replied.

Shopping with the girls was a blast. Although, one thing was it could get a little chaotic. We had already spent way too much time trying on stupid and/or ugly dresses just for fun.

I held up a light blue dress to the mirror, and then made a face. Blue isn't my color. At least not mentally. "I wish Ferb was here." He gives me the best advice for everything. Including what I look sexy in.

Adyson groaned loudly. "Stop! You know, there's a reason why you two irritate all of us. Even, no, especially, Phineas."

I rolled my eyes. She was always on this, but really no one found us anymore irritating than Wynne and Kyle, or Baljeet and Ginger, or her and Buford… except… sigh… maybe Phineas. He did have to live with it.

"Ok, but really, what color should I wear?" Katie asked.

"Remember," I said. "You can't wear white."

"So we won't outshine the bride? Please, it's Vanessa." Adyson scoffed.

"Ha, well, remember, Mishti's coming." Holly laughed.

"Oh, shoot!" Adyson laughed.

Maybe we should have invited Mishti. I really liked Mishti. A lot. I hated being in this awkward situation where I was stuck between two people. Why does this keep happening to me? It was ok, I guess. Wynne wasn't here either; it was just the Fireside Girls.

"What do you guys think about this?" Ginger came out, wearing a long silk gown, starting in maroon and slowly transitioning to pink by the end.

"It's nice." I said.

"Yeah." The girls agreed.

"No, I have to look better than 'nice'." She stormed back into the dressing room.

"Ginger is a mess." Adyson sighed.

"I found mine!" Milly squealed, as she came out. It was a large ball gown style, with the top all black lace, and the bottom black, with white lace designs.

"Ok, that is fabulous!" I declared.

"And I'm gonna put my hair up, like this…"

"Great, just great." Ginger said grumpily. "Everyone is going to look beautiful except me."

"Ok, would you stop with the negativity, Ginger?" I said. "You, and all of us, are going to look great at the wedding."

"Especially Mishti." She said. "Miss 'Triple Major, Makes Her Own Dresses, Looks Like A Super Model, Wants To Fall In Love With A Best Friend' Mishti."

"That's a great idea!" Adyson exclaimed. "Mishti should make my dress!"

"Jesus Christ, you really are the female Buford!" I exclaimed.

"Addy, I really hate you." Ginger stated.

"Ginger," Adyson laughed. "I already said, a million and one times… Baljeet will never leave you. Just fume with Isabella as she will with Vanessa, and then they'll both leave, and we can all move on with our lives."

"You give such great advice, babe." Holly said sarcastically.

"Can we just… look at dresses?" I asked desperately.

The girls returned to what we had been doing before, with Ginger not angry, but still grumpy. God, how many friends was I supposed to manage? Phineas was clearly low and lonely, Ginger was grumpy and jealous, Baljeet was on-edge and torn between desires and love, and Adyson was crushing on the wrong guy! GAH!

We all came back to my apartment fairly successful, with arms full of shopping bags. My dress was dark pink, backless, and had a slit, not too long, only there to make walking easy. Other than that, it was pretty simple, but it looked really nice.

"Ha, you do know the guys are all in there waiting for us, right?" I joked, opening up door to my apartment.

"I doubt it." Ginger snarled. "Baljeet's probably with Mishti. I'm going home."

"Yeah, I'm out." Milly said.

"Yeah, what are we going to do here anyway?" Katie said.

"Alright, let's go." Ginger said.

Holly, Katie, Milly, and Ginger all left to the elevator. "Ok, well, I'm going to Phineas and Ferb's." I said, after dropping the shopping bags on the ground.

"I wouldn't mind checking on Phineas." Adyson said slyly.

Gretchen shrugged. "I'll stay if you and Addy are." Ok, well, as long as Gretchen and I were here, Adyson couldn't do anything.

I knocked on the door. No one answered. I knocked again, louder. "Ferb! Phineas!" I banged one more time. "Baby! FERB!"

He opened the door, finally. "What took you so long?" I declared. He opened his mouth, but I cut him off. "I brought Gretchen and Adyson."

"Hi Ferb." Gretchen said.

I walked in, and I saw precisely what had been taking those boys so long to answer the door. Because all of them were surrounding a Miss Mishti Patel, seemingly enraptured by whatever she was telling them. FUCK. All three of us, even Gretchen, tensed up a little. Wow… is there a female version of a ladies' man?

"Hi guys!" Phineas waved.

"Hi boys. Hi Mishti." I said weakly. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing…" They all seemed to be holding in laughter. I sure hope they weren't talking about us, although I feel like it's likely they weren't, and they just now have a whole bunch of awesome inside jokes that I won't get. I really like Mishti… but if she's trying to take my place with the guys, take Ginger's boyfriend… take any of our boyfriends… that's not cool. Ha, but she's so sweet, so… oblivious, I don't think she realizes she's doing anything. She just likes hanging out with Baljeet and the guys.

I protectively wrapped my arm around Ferb and sat with him. He comfortably cuddled me and I smelt his cologne. I wasn't going to put Ferb in the doghouse for staring or hanging out with Mishti. He had always done the same thing with me; I would be a big hypocrite if I did that. None of the guys… ok, maybe Buford, but I doubt it, would ever even pursue Mishti, even if they were single… she was "Baljeet's girl". Ferb never ever went after me… I was the one who would come to him, for advice, for comfort… to literally ask him to sleep with me!

"I'm bored!" Adyson declared obnoxiously.

"Well, boys, we can talk later." Mishti said, in her sultry voice.

"Oh, I know what we can do!" I said. I leaned over and grabbed a magazine I had stashed from the coffee table and began rifling through it.

"Get your nose out of that Flawless Girl, Isabella, so we can figure out what to do." Gretchen giggled.

"Yes, my Bella is already a flawless girl." Ferb stated.

"Ah-ha, here's something we can do!" I declared. "The 'Soulmate Test'."

"Is this going to be a whole bunch of stupid questions for us to answer?" Buford complained.

"No, no!" I said. "We pair up, and then each of us write down ten digits from zero to nine randomly and compare them to our partner. However many we match is how close we are to being soulmates!" We all started laughing.

"I'm game." Adyson said.

"Well, Ginger isn't here." Baljeet said nervously.

"It's ok, Baljeet." Mishti said, fluttering her eyelashes. "You can be my partner."

"Uh… ok." He said, a little too quickly.

"Phineas, you be partners with Gretchen." I declared.

"Sure." Phineas shrugged.

"But…" Adyson complained.

"Adyson, just be partners with Buford." I said.

"Umm, ok!" She also said too quickly, for someone who was pursuing Phineas.

"Ok," I made sure everyone had a piece of paper and something to write with. "No peeking!"

"WAIT!" Baljeet exclaimed, checking his phone. "Ginger just texted me. She will be here in five minutes. Switch with me!" He said to Phineas.

"But…" I whined. Come on, I'm trying to set up Phineas here!

"Bella!" Ferb said under his breath.

"Switch with me Phineas, do you want my girlfriend to murder me?" He said in a low voice.

"Yes." Buford laughed.

"It's fine. I'll be Mishti's partner." Phineas said.

"Ok, ok, ready, write!" Adyson said.

Hmm, what would Ferb put? I scribbled down ten digits. Ha, if he's my soulmate, we'll get it right. "Ok, time to tally!"

"I'm so going to beat you, Baljeet!" Mishti joked.

"What, no!"

"I'm going to kick ALL of your asses! Right, Buford?" Adyson said aggressively.

"Right!" They high-fived.

Jeez, the gang is so competitive.

"Ok, so Ferb and I got, two matches." I was hoping for more, but ok. I'll take it.

Adyson snorted. "So much for Mr. and Mrs. Perfect."

"Oh yeah." I said. "You and Buford got… one."

"Hey!" She said. "Let me see!"

"And they were two zeros, for the record." I smiled. "And the rest of you got nothing."

"Figures." Gretchen shrugged and smiled. It made me really curious now… would Phineas and Gretchen have been a better match than me and Ferb or Buford and Adyson, you know, the two real couples (so what if Buford and Adyson weren't dating!)? Would Baljeet and Mishti have been?!

"So do you win? Are Isabella and Ferb soulmates?" Phineas joked.

"Our souls are 20% mated." Ferb stated, as I leaned against him.

It was just at that moment we heard furious knocking at the door.

"It's open!" Phineas called.

Ginger stormed in. "Baljeet!"

"Ginger, you said you were going home." I said.

"I didn't know Baljeet was here!" She declared.

"I think now would be a good time for everyone to be leaving." Gretchen said.

"Right." I said. Baljeet and Ginger sure knew how to rush everyone out. She was practically dragging him out by the ear. Buford and Adyson were walking to the elevator together, presumably flirting again, like always.

"Thank you so much, Phineas and Ferb." Mishti giggled.

"Not a problem, Mishti. You can come over whenever you want." Phineas said. Ferb did a little bow for her.

She giggled again. "Bye."

"Bye boys." I said. I caught Gretchen before she left, and after Phineas shut the door. "Gretchen, I know I already pestered you about this, but… you haven't been with anyone in a while, have you?"

"Isabella…"

"I was wondering… would you let me match you up?"

"You," She laughed. "Match me up? You're not known for the best love life."

"Shut up." I said.

"Sorry." She said. "You sound like you already have a boy in mind."

"Yeah, I do actually. Um… Phineas."

Gretchen burst out laughing. "You want to match up me… and Phineas?"

"Stop laughing! Yes."

"Isabella," She shook her head. "You're nuts. I mean, yeah, he's cute, but…"

"A-ha!" I said triumphantly. "Attraction!"

She rolled her eyes. "Phineas Flynn had to be one of the cutest boys in our high school, yes. But that doesn't overcome the... Phineas-ness. Face it, Flynn-Fletchers are not normal. They're all a little… weird."

"Gretchen, just give him a chance." I said.

She shrugged. "Ok. Do we have to pass a soulmate test?"


	9. Rapid Decay

**New post,** **whoo! Aww, I see you guys are pretty hard on poor Ginger. Honestly, as we keep going, this story could be really interesting from Balinger's POV, ha. Well, go back and read String Theory and see how Ginger is the comforting best friend in the perfect fairy tale relationship, whispering away to her boyfriend and helping her jealous BFF when she's going psycho. Tables be turning! Time for Ginger and Isabella to switch places.**

 **Anyway, this is a Ferb chapter. And umm, maybe the tables haven't turned THAT much...**

* * *

The worst part about being an adult is… the grown-up stuff. As in, paying for things, and cleaning things, and making our own food. Sometimes, when you're tired, you just have to settle for cold cereal in the morning.

"This is the worst." Phineas said, pretty much _to_ his cereal. "I miss Mom's food." He said, depressed. Just then, we heard gentle knocking at the door. "It's open!" He called.

"Hey guys!" Our confident female friend came bounding in. "Whatcha' doin'?" Phineas and I just stared. What the heck? Because this wasn't my beautiful raven-haired Isabella in our living room. This was the brunette Adyson Sweetwater.

"Adyson… hey. Whaaat are you doing here?" Phineas asked awkwardly.

"Just… dropping by." She said flirtatiously.

"Ok." He said awkwardly.

"Has anyone ever told you how cute your hair is, Phineas?"

"No?"

"I've always found red hair… attractive."

"It's a Flynn thing." He said simply. "We all have it. But you could dye yours if you want. I bet you would look nice."

I almost had to hide my laughter. Adyson paused. The obliviousness was so thick you could swim through it.

"Um, you think my hair looks nice?" She flipped it around for him.

"Sure." He shrugged.

"Phineas…"

"You know what… I am sick of this cereal." Phineas announced. "Ferb, I know what we're going to do today!"

"Let me guess…" Adyson said, bored already. "Something about an awesome new cereal?"

"Yup." He left the room for a minute.

"GAH." She exclaimed. "Isabella did this for years?"

I laughed. "You should stop. It's not going to happen."

"Shut up." She said. "You two think you know everything about relationships, when we all know you don't have that much longer."

"What?" I exclaimed. "Are you implying that Isabella and I… won't last?"

"Well… yeah." She said. "You might be Mr. and Mrs. Perfect, but come on. You're the ladies' man. You're always going to be someone's crush. And don't think we didn't see you staring at Mishti. Plus… Isabella is dating you, she's sleeping with you… but who is she spending all her time worrying and thinking about?" She asked.

 _Phineas._

"Phineas." She finished.

* * *

It was starting to haunt me. It was true. All Isabella could think about was Phineas. Granted, she was thinking about matching him up with someone else, but still. All she could do was worry about him. Isabella and Phineas. Isabella and Phineas. Isabella and Phineas. It was never going to go away.

Maybe he WAS jealous of our relationship and oblivious to it. Maybe she was still in love with him somewhere under it all, and just had me as her boy toy. Everyone joked we were "the perfect couple", but no one had ever really thought Isabella would end up with me. And apparently no one thought she would stay with me either.

"That was annoying." Django whined, as we all walked back into our apartment, back from tuxedo fittings.

"No, it wasn't." Phineas said.

"Phineas… could you be a little less Phineas-y right now?" Kyle said. "Tuxedos suck."

Phineas sighed. "They're not THAT bad."

"And we look like a team of secret agents in them." Irving said dramatically.

"Fuck that shit." Buford deadpanned. "Why am I going to this wedding again?"

"You don't HAVE to come, Buford." I said.

"No, I don't want to be left out." He peeped.

"Well, one more thing off the list." Phineas said. "Baljeet… are you ok?" We stared at our Indian friend, who seemed a little distracted.

"Yes, yes, Phineas." He muttered.

"So… have you told Ginger you L-U-V her yet?" Buford asked.

"I think you mean L-O-V-E." Phineas said.

"Shut up, Dinnerbell!" Buford exclaimed.

"No." Baljeet said softly. "I just… I can't now."

"Why?" Phineas asked.

"Because he has feelings for Mishti." I said softly.

"What?" Phineas said. "Do you?"

"Yes – no – I don't know!" Baljeet exclaimed. "How can I tell Ginger I'm in love with her if she's not the only one I am in love with?"

"Jeet… Get this in your nerd brain… Mishti is NEVER going to like you back. You're lucky you got someone like Ginger. She's so out of your league already. You think you have a chance with Mishti?" Buford said.

"I do not want to be with Mishti!" He said, frustrated. "I just…" He was interrupted by knocking at the door.

"I got it." Phineas said.

"Hey!" The minute he opened the door, the room was suddenly swamped with girls. "We're back from shoe shopping!" Isabella said happily.

"Wanna see?" Adyson asked.

"No!" Buford answered for all of us. "Damn it, you girls. We're going to see you at the wedding anyway! Why do you fuss over every detail?"

"Humph." Isabella pouted. "Back to my place, girls. I can see we're not wanted here."

The swarm turned to go. The stampede would have probably killed Phineas, still by the door, if he hadn't taken a few steps back. Taken a few steps back and notice Gretchen trip, catching her before she fell.

"Whoa! Be careful!" He said, laughing.

"Sorry!" She giggled. "Ironically… tripped on my own shoes." They both laughed.

"New poll, new poll…" Buford whispered to me. So is this Phineas and Gretchen idea actually going to become a thing?

"GRETCH." Adyson said loudly. Oh god… hopefully it was, before Adyson snatched him up.

* * *

 _Phineas and Isabella. Phineas loves Isabella. Isabella loves Phineas._

"Ha ha, baby, did you see Phineas today?"

"What?" I exclaimed, nearly jumping up.

She was tying her hair up in a ponytail. We were both in pajamas, about to go to sleep. "Yeah." She giggled. "He and Gretchen totally had a moment."

"What… what does it matter?" I said, suddenly frustrated. "You have no clue what you're doing!"

"What's wrong with you?" She asked.

"Nothing." I muttered.

"Come on, Ferb…" She fluttered her eyelashes. "What is it?" She rubbed my shoulders.

I sighed. "Will we last?"

"What?" She tilted her head.

"Will this relationship last?" I asked.

"You've been with me for a year, baby." She said fondly. "I think we're doing ok."

"Are we though?" I asked. "A year… and what? What's happened? What's changed?"

"I'm in love with you. You're in love with me. I know everything about you and you know everything about me."

"I've always known everything about you, Isabella. I've always loved you. So… nothing has changed. This – our relationship isn't normal. There was no learning about each other. There was no real first kiss, first night, first date. We never met each other's friends or family. So, how can we be the perfect couple? There's been no growth in a year. We're just… in rapid decay." I finished.

"What…" She stared at me. "How can you say that?" She exclaimed. "So what if it wasn't a cliché normal relationship? You know what, we tried that a few times before, and it isn't Gretchen in this bed with you."

"Yeah, well, she's best friends with Adyson, she probably thinks the same thing." I muttered.

"What?" Isabella asked. "Wait, what does Adyson have to do with this?"

"She came over to see Phineas the other day. I guess she's learning from the master." I said sarcastically.

"What!?" Isabella cried. "And you didn't tell me! I thought we established how bad she would be for poor Phineas if…"

I lost it. "Poor Phineas! YES. Because he's still all you think about, Isabella! As if he wasn't a grown man, and you still have to wait on him hand and foot until the day he falls in love with you!"

Isabella stopped dead. "You… you think… Ferb! What… you think… I'm in love with Phineas? After everything we've been through? I… I thought we were done with this conversation."

"Me too." I said angrily. "Until I noticed… huh, dating Ferb is a lot like dating _Phineas and_ Ferb."

"What do you want me to say, Ferb? Huh? What?" Isabella huffed. "That I wasn't in love with Phineas? That I never loved Phineas? Because that isn't true! What, am I not supposed to be friends with him anymore? Ok, Ferb, ok! I love YOU, my heart belongs to YOU… so I'll just keep coming over here just to fuck you and ignore that sweet boy who has been my nearest and dearest friend for years!" She yelled. "Oh, and please continue to accuse me of being in love with Phineas, while you're still very much friends with Vanessa!"

"What does Vanessa have to do with anything?" I exclaimed.

She laughed sarcastically. "You always said you couldn't be 'just friends' with Vanessa. Well, then, why do you still talk to her? Why is every person you know going to HER wedding!?" She laughed again. "I know you Ferb, you've done this before, you jackass. There's a reason why you have the reputation as the 'ladies' man'. Oh… a blonde here… a brunette there… a redhead now and then… a high school girlfriend, a college girlfriend… a friend-with-benefits," She pointed at herself. "But… only one Vanessa. You broke all those hearts… you broke my heart… because… there's only one Vanessa. Well… newsflash! She's getting married! Even when she was your girlfriend, she never wanted you. She picked Monty. You lost!"

"Well, newsflash for you too, love." I snapped. "Phineas _dumped_ you. He dumped you… for no one."

"Well, I'm sorry you got stuck with Phineas' leftovers." Isabella declared, storming out of the apartment angrily. "GOODBYE!" She screamed, slamming the door.

I groaned to myself, and as I turned to walk back to my room, I saw the little blue eye peeking from the other bedroom. Oh… fuck.


	10. Kiss and Make Up

Sooo… guess what? No, really, guess. You'll never guess. What did Isabella do after she stormed back into her apartment? The very minute my door shut, I fell to the ground. And I started crying. It had taken months, but finally I was reduced to that girl again. The Isabella crying in a little ball over a boy. I could barely make it to my bed. Honeymoon's over.

How could he think that I was still in love with Phineas? The very idea of being with Phineas now was disturbing to me. I loved Phineas, but I loved him the way Ferb did, the way Phineas loved me… we were like family. So what, Ferb thought I had just bumped up the friends-with-benefits title to boyfriend-girlfriend, and was still just using him to be with Phineas? How could he? I was literally actively trying to find a girl for Phineas! Would the old Isabella have ever done that? Huh? Would she?

I… I had been obsessing over Phineas a lot lately. But, I mean, who wants to get stuck all alone while literally all your best friends start pairing up. I give it a few months MAX before Buford and Adyson finally end up together. Plus, the rest of the gang, even Irving, always had fluffy dates with hot guys or girls; wouldn't take too long for everybody to match up. And Vanessa, his equivalent in this situation, was getting married to her one true love. What the fuck? Was Phineas doomed to be alone?

I had to dig through my head for the old plans on how to lift myself up again that I hadn't used in months… which were pretty much, Iz, you need to talk to someone about your boy trouble and get some advice, otherwise you'll go crazy. Of course, I no longer had Ferb. FUCK! I no longer had Ferb! I would never have Ferb again! No, this had nothing to do with our fight… I had always talked to Ferb about all my boy problems, even the in-between Phineas ones. I could still get advice from Ferb about everything else, but I would never get guy advice from Ferb again. NOOOOOO! What was I supposed to do now? Talk to Phineas? HA. Plus, that might only get me into trouble. Oh, I want my Ferb! Except, he's a jackass. I didn't mean anything I said to him… at least, I don't THINK I did.

Uggh, who could I talk to? I guess one of the girls. God, I was feeling sort of irritated with Gretchen and REALLY angry at Addy. Milly did not give good advice (cough, friends-with-benefits, cough). Holly always had the bad date stories to share, so that wasn't great. Katie was just a weirdo. I normally would pick Ginger, but Ginger was in her own relationship mess. And as great as Wynne and Mishti were, they weren't the Fireside girls. Oh god.

I wiped the tears from my eyes, and in total desperation, just dialed the number. "Hi. I know this is probably the WORST time in the world for you, I'm sorry."

"Isabella?" She said, in mild disbelief.

I groaned to myself. I am SUCH a loser. I am such a loser. I can't believe it. Everything I had said before, about the kiss, and the wedding, and how we were bashing each other, and then what I said tonight! Of all the people in the entire fucking world… I just can't believe… I AM SUCH A LOSER.

"Yeah… ha, hi Vanessa." Aack-gack-argh-gack-aah-gah-aack!

"Why… are you calling me in the middle of the night?" She asked.

"I…" And to prove just how big of a loser I was to the one girl in the world I had never managed to live up to, I just burst into sobs again. "Oh… Ferb and I got into a fight!" I wept.

"Oh." She said awkwardly. Oh, this was so weird!

"I just… I… it's Ferb." I said. "You get it? It's Ferb. Who are you supposed to call crying to when Ferb breaks your heart?"

"I don't know." She said quietly. "Because when your heart gets broken… you call…"

"HIM." We both said at the same time.

"Now you know why I called you." I said weakly. Now I knew why I called her. Because Vanessa knew Ferb the way I knew Ferb. She had loved other guys but still came crying to him for advice. She had fallen for and dated the little Brit. She could laugh and hang out with him and make him get all dreamy-eyed the way no one could… except, apparently, me.

God, I hated her.

"So… what happened?" She asked sweetly.

"He thinks… he thinks I'm still in love with Phineas." I wept.

"His brother?" She asked.

"Yes." I replied.

"Are you?"

"NO!" I cried. "I've been trying to get Phineas a girlfriend, and he's upset I've been spending so much time thinking about it, and it's making him jealous, I guess. And then…" I said guiltily. "I might have accused him of still being in love with… you."

"Isabella," She sighed. "What am I supposed to tell you?"

"I don't know!" I exclaimed. "You're older, wiser, hotter! Help me!"

"Do you know that Monty and I fight a lot?"

"No way!" I said sarcastically.

She huffed. "Well, I learned a long time ago, that the only way to stop fighting is to apologize and talk it out. Ok? Do not tell all your friends and family. Do not say sorry quick, have some hot make-up sex, and pretend it never happened. And, do not, I repeat, do not run to some other boy."

"Like when we walked in on you kissing my Ferb?" I said angrily.

"Fine, I get it, Isabella, I'm a bitch." She said, disregarding my comment. "Just talk to him, and find out why you were fighting in the first place."

"Thank… thank you, Vanessa." I said. "And I'm sorry I'm so… so… I'm so much…"

"Younger, dumber, and lamer?" She laughed.

"See you at the wedding." I said grumpily, hanging up.

I couldn't sleep at all that night. I was starting to have a lot of trouble sleeping alone, if that even made any sense. A lot of people say losing their own beds is one of the worst things about really serious relationships, but my bed was way too lonely now. There was a reason why I had been in Ferb's bed, and it wasn't for sex. When I finally did fall asleep, it was really late, like 5, and that meant I was going to sleep in late too.

I groaned as I got up, and I swear, the words almost escaped my mouth. " _Good morning, baby._ "

Oh shit, I thought, as I got dressed and ready. Vanessa was right. I was going to die without Ferb. No, nope, this was not happening again! I was not letting another stupid argument or misunderstanding split up me and Ferb again! I stormed out of my apartment and straight into his.

"Baljeet… Oh, oh, hi Isabella!" Phineas said awkwardly, stopping what he had been previously been saying. All of the guys were already there.

Ferb gave me a pained look. "Bella, I…"

"Shut up."

I grabbed his face forcefully and hungrily kissed him. My Ferb… my Ferb. His mouth was so hot and soft. I felt like I was trying to steal his sweetness from him. I felt one hand in my hair, pulling at it, sending shivers down my spine.

"Now… would it be wrong for me to say my signature, 'I am so in love with her right now'?"

"YES!"

"Ok, so if what Buford said was wrong… I'm guessing it's wrong if I tape this?"

"YES!"

I gently stroked his cheek with my thumb and his other arm wrapped around my waist. I gently moaned in the back of my throat.

"Oh my god!" Phineas exclaimed, frustrated. "GUYS! I'm happy you two are making up, but could you not… make up… right here and now!"

Ferb broke the kiss. "Sorry, Phineas." I said plainly.

"Yeah… okay." He said, wide-eyed. "JEEZ."

"I bet you fifty bucks they would've just started doing it on the couch if he hadn't said anything." Buford whispered to Baljeet.

"Ew, Buford." He said.

"I don't know." Kyle whispered. "I second that."

"I need to talk to you." I said to Ferb.

"Ok." He said, a little eagerly.

"No. I need to talk to you. With words!" I said firmly. "Come on!" I grabbed his hand.

Phineas closed the door as we left. "Irving! You were going to tape it!?" I heard him shout as we left. Pervs.

"I'm sorry, Bella." He said regretfully.

"We need to talk about what happened, Ferb, ok? I'm sorry too. But if I accept your apology and you accept mine, we have hot make-up sex, and wake up the next morning pretending the fight never happened… there's going to be another one. And another one." I said. "I'm not sure where to start." I sighed. "Do you really want me to stop being friends with Phineas? Because, I told you, I'll do it. I know it bothers you."

"No!" He exclaimed. "I could never. And… we're just, the band of brothers, no matter how much that metaphor will never fit. We're best friends, the three of us. You can't remove anyone. Even though… someone always gets left out."

I sighed. "That's why I wanted to find someone for Phineas so much. Because I know what it's like being kicked out of 'Phineas and Ferb'. And you know what it's like to be kicked out of 'Phinabella'."

"Yeah." He said sadly.

"Ohhh, I've really never proven to you that I'm not in love with Phineas?" I wept.

"You have. I just can't accept it. I told you, I still don't believe how I ended up with you. I always feel like there's a catch." He said weakly.

"I don't think you're in love with Vanessa. I was just being a bitch." I said. "Ferb, how can you of all people be insecure?"

"I told you," He growled. "Only you do this to me!"

"I couldn't sleep without you." I said weakly.

"Isabella." He pulled me into his arms.

"You said we wouldn't last." I whimpered.

He sighed. "Do you know who gave me that idea? Adyson."

Adyson. That girl was a poison. Not even a sexy snake venom, like what Vanessa would be. No, Adyson was more like one of those deadly chemicals that they put in your favorite junk food secretly. The food is your friend… but it is also killing you.

"Why did you ask me if we'll last?" I asked. "We'll last! I promise! And if we don't, well, there will be a good reason, I promise. Not Phineas, not Vanessa, not something stupid like jealousy. I promise, I promise." I whispered.

For a moment, I was worried, but then he pulled me to him and covered my mouth with his again. I opened my mouth with a low moan. His tongue gently traced my lower lip.

"They…" I hotly whispered, running my nails through his hair. "Wanted to film us."

One hand was tracing my bra through my shirt, and the other was tracing my panties under my skirt. "Fucking… perverts." He replied.

* * *

 **Well, lol, you guys wanted a fight and make-up. I think Ferbella, and Phineas, have suffered enough.  
** **...Right?**

 **Kisses, please review!**


	11. Half and Half

**Well, guys, due to a double update (HINT HINT HINT), this is sort of a filler chapter... but it is giving Ferb's view on what happened. Thanks to all you guys reading and reviewing!**

* * *

That fight was… bad. It shouldn't have happened. Oh, why am I the jealous type? And jealous of Phineas? Phineas would never, ever try to take Isabella from me. Even though it was always such a push-and-pull whether he did have feelings for Isabella, Phineas had flat-out stated last year he just didn't want to be with her… he would rather be her friend. Also, he felt they just didn't fit the way she had wanted them to. I don't think they would ever be together again. I had to get over this.

And Phineas… Phineas had heard all of it! Vanessa, Vanessa had always known about me and Isabella and the overall tension between the two of them, for a long time now. But Phineas? I don't know if simple Phineas had ever really realized that he was such an issue in our relationship. It was like a child hearing his parents get into a huge fight about you… you would feel like it's your fault, worry that it's your fault if they separated or anything like that.

Isabella had not come over today… and tomorrow we were all packing up to go to the wedding hotel. We were sort of planning to get together tonight, hang out, talk about travel arrangements… although, by now, everyone knew Bella and I had gotten into a fight. Again, as of right now, just afternoon, it was just the guys in our apartment.

My phone rang and I glanced eagerly at it. Bella? Nope. Private. No number appeared. I guess I would leave it be. I sighed.

"Ferb," Django asked nicely. "Are you ok?"

"He's fine." Buford announced. "Ferb and Isabella would never break-up. Right? RIGHT?" I guess coming from a troubled home, it would bother Buford a lot to see the "perfect couple" break-up, especially since we have been together for so long now.

"Baljeet still isn't here… again." Kyle noticed.

"I know where he is…" Irving said. "He's with Mishti."

"How do you know that?" Phineas questioned.

"She's posting about it… right now." He held up his phone.

"Jeez… Ginger is going to be livid." Kyle said.

Buford shook his head. "HOW can she be with Baljeet? HOW?"

"I don't know." Kyle exclaimed.

"Nostalgia?" Django shrugged.

"Guys," Phineas sighed. "Baljeet loves Ginger."

"I think you mean LOVED." Kyle said.

"It isn't any of our business who he hangs out with anyway!" Phineas said.

"Be honest though… who would you all pick?" Buford asked.

"Is that even a question?" Kyle laughed. "Mishti! She's smokin'."

"Well, Ginger is the one who really cares about him." Django said.

"Yes!" Phineas said, upset. "I would be loyal to my girlfriend. SO… Ginger."

"Yeah, but… um… I might still pick Mishti." Django laughed. "Put me down as half and half."

"Um, I would be with Mishti RIGHT NOW if I could." Irving said.

"Nerd, there's no way she would pick you over me." Buford stated. "And Ferb would pick Mishti too."

"What?" Phineas exclaimed.

"He was staring at her too." He shrugged.

Oh god, what Isabella had said… I did have a weakness for pretty girls. I would never be with Mishti. But if I had to choose between Mishti and Ginger… yet, you know, I had a weird feeling the guys were all choosing Mishti not based on how beautiful she was though, but how fun… Mishti was like, in a way… another Isabella. And we all know who had been in love with Isabella… um, ALL of them.

"Guys, we all know Mishti is really fun and pretty, but we shouldn't be like… supporting Baljeet and another girl." Phineas said.

"But he's like… in love with her." Buford said. "He told us."

"NEW POOL!" Kyle announced. "Although, if we include the girls in this one, they'll get really pissed."

As if on cue, at that moment, Baljeet and Mishti came walking through the door, laughing.

"Baljeet, thank you for shielding me from the, ha, 'terrifying' mud puddle." She laughed.

"Well, it would have ruined your nice dress." He stated.

"Now, if only you could take back all the times you threw me in the mud when you were five…" She giggled. "Hi boys."

"Hi Mishti!" The guys said excitedly.

"Mishti, you are looking fine today." Irving said, in his pathetic player voice.

"Thanks." She giggled. "What are you boys up to?"

"Ha… nothing." Phineas said. He can't keep a secret. "Uh, we all need to pack up for the wedding. What were you guys doing?"

She smiled. "Oh, I got the prettiest dress for the wedding. And Baljeet's mother is lending me some beautiful earrings too."

"I convinced her." Baljeet boasted.

"Yes, yes you did." She giggled. "I can't wait to see you boys in your tuxedos." She giggled again.

"You and the girls have been going on and on about these outfits… you all better look hot." Buford declared.

"I'm sure you'll all look pretty." Phineas said sweetly.

"Thank you, Phineas. You're such a sweet boy." She said. "You know, I really should be heading back to my hotel if we need to pack."

"Do you need me to come with you?" Baljeet said hurriedly.

"Baljeet," She laughed. "I'm fine. I'll be back here to meet up with everyone when we leave, all right? Bye!" She said, as she left.

"She's sooo hot!" Buford cried.

"Stop it." Baljeet said, sounding irritated.

"Jeet, seriously, if you don't make a move, I will." Buford said. "Weddings are good times for hookups."

"Especially after breakups." Irving said. I glared at him. "Sorry." He peeped. Baljeet was glaring too.

"No one is breaking up! And no one is hooking up!" Phineas said loudly. "Baljeet…"

At that moment… Isabella came storming in and nearly attacked me in her embrace. And we never finished the conversation.

* * *

"This hotel is beautiful!" Isabella exclaimed, swirling around in the giant golden lobby.

"I know, isn't it?" Katie said, excitedly.

"So, who's rooming with whom?" Adyson asked, as she looked down at the card key she had just gotten. Monty had checked in the entire wedding group ahead of time, so we had no idea where exactly we were going to be.

"Ferb, obviously." Phineas said.

"Milly!" Holly said, high-fiving her.

"And me and Katie." Gretchen said.

"I'm with you, Miss Wynne." Mishti said sweetly.

"Yay!" She exclaimed.

"Buford? Gah. Always." Baljeet grumbled.

"You know you love me." Buford taunted.

"Relax, Baljeet, I'm in there too." Kyle said.

"Even worse!" Baljeet exclaimed. Kyle and Buford started laughing. Well, Baljeet is going to have a great time tonight.

"Well, I got Irving." Django said, deadpan.

"This will be awesome!" Irving said, excitedly.

"Ugh… me and Ginge." Adyson complained.

"Hey!" Ginger protested.

"So, I'm alone?" Isabella questioned.

Adyson started laughing. "You know why that is, don't you? They kept it 'clean'. They put girls with girls and guys with guys… but Vanessa KNOWS Ferb is going to end up in your room, so she left it open."

Everyone else started laughing too. "It's true." Katie giggled. "Oh my god, it's true."

I wrapped my arm around Isabella's waist. "Who cares?" Isabella suddenly said. "It is true. My person might as well be Ferb." She giggled.

"Hmm… maybe some more switcheroos will happen, huh?" Adyson said seductively, eying Phineas.

"What?" Ginger and Isabella bleated at the same time.

"Let's go." She said.


	12. Drunken Wedding

**Finally time for a wedding ;)**

* * *

It was time for a wedding. You know, I hadn't been to a real wedding in a long time. I tried to think about whose it was… maybe Stacy's? Jeez. You know, this meant that, officially, it was sort of becoming our generation's turn to get married. Yikes. Pres-sure. I'm an only child, I can only imagine how much my mother is going to nag me about getting married. As far as my dad… ideally, Daddy would never let me grow up at all. Unfortunately, I'm not Phineas.

I don't think the Flynn-Fletchers care at all when or if Phineas and Ferb get married. They're too cool. They probably could have lived in the backyard forever if they had really wanted to, and their parents (at least not their dad) wouldn't have minded.

I fluffed my hair in the mirror and smiled. I looked nice. I still can't believe I was going to Vanessa's wedding. So weird. If it wasn't for one little impulsive move by me, instead of having an all out party tonight, I probably would've been nursing a heartbroken (and maybe drunk) Ferb at home right now, while we both bitched about how our love lives sucked. Life is so strange… you never know what turns it'll take.

I knocked on the door to Phineas and Ferb's suite. "Hi boys." I smiled, as Ferb opened the door and kissed me gently. They looked just about ready.

"Do a favor for me, baby?" I turned around, and he zipped my dress up for me.

"So… I'm guessing Adyson was right and you two will be sharing a room tonight?" Phineas asked.

"Uh…"

"Most likely." Ferb replied.

"Shocking." Phineas said sarcastically.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"I'm fine!" He declared, suddenly sounding irritated. "So you don't have to worry about me, Isabella! Or you, Ferb! And I'm never going to… I know I'm such a… GAH." He left us, clearly upset.

"What happened?" I asked.

"He heard the fight. All of it." Ferb said.

"Oh, oh no." I said. So in addition to thinking that his friends thought he was a third wheel, a loser who needed to get laid, and an oblivious idiot, he now also thought he was the biggest problem in Ferb's relationship. SHIT.

"Maybe he'll just… have fun tonight and forget it." I said. "We're fine, we're not fighting or anything."

"But I don't know if he ever knew he was a problem." Ferb said.

I hate love triangles. Fuck love triangles. Ferb, Vanessa, and Monty. Me, Ferb, and Vanessa. Ferb, me, and Phineas. And now… there were new ones! Gretchen, Phineas, and Adyson. Ew. If you want to go by that, then, Buford, Adyson, and Phineas, eventually. And… oh god… Ginger, Baljeet, and Mishti.

Speak of the angel… "Hi guys!" Mishti said sweetly. Mishti looked like a showstopper, as always. Like we said, if there was one person in this building who could match Vanessa, it was Mishti. Her dress was black and sleeveless and she was just too beautiful for words.

"Look how Mishti did my hair!" Wynne gushed. It was curled, and the red looked great against her black-and-white striped dress. "Iz, you look great. And Ferb…"

"I told you to stay away from my boyfriend!" I laughed.

"Come on." He smiled.

The wedding in the church was beautiful. Everything seemed to glimmer; sunset was a good time to be in a place with that many windows. And, of course, Vanessa was the most beautiful person in the room. Not even Mishti Patel could top her today.

I felt no resentment towards Vanessa today. I don't know if it was because she was getting married, or because she had helped me the other day, or just because the evil Vanessa just looked so beautiful and innocent in all white, staring at Monty with so much love in her eyes.

"With this ring, I thee wed and with it I give thee my love and devotion."

I sighed. I never really pictured myself getting married in a big dark church like this. I was Jewish. Still, it was beautiful. I flitted my eyes to Ferb. I promised him we would last. What did that mean? Did I promise myself to Ferb?

To marry Ferb Fletcher… huh. What would that be like really? You know, besides all the stuff we already did, blah, blah, kissing, dating, talking, sex, blah. We'd actually live together. I would go to England many times a year. I'd actually get to celebrate legit Christmas… with the Flynn-Fletchers and the Johnsons and everyone. I'd learn all Linda's secret recipes. Phineas and Candace would go from my "kind of" brother and sister to actual brother-in-law and sister-in-law. I'd be "Aunt Isabella" to the kids. Maybe even some kids of our own.

Am I crazy? I'm crazy. Ferb's right; our relationship isn't normal. We kind of have to follow some normal steps first. I can't just marry him first and decide later that maybe we should have waited a little longer.

The wedding reception was in the hall of the hotel, with a dance floor. There were only eight people to a table, so our group alone took up two, with assigned seats. Irritatingly enough, Vanessa seemed to have completely juggled our names at random, unlike the room assignments. Actually, Vanessa probably wasn't in-charge of every little detail. I still blame her for Ferb being at the other table though. Our table was Katie, Kyle, Django, Ginger, Irving, Gretchen and Wynne. I probably could've asked someone to switch with me, but apparently, name cards are the law. Also, the other table looked like they were having a blast. Milly and Holly were gabbing with Mishti, who was, of course, next to Baljeet. All four of the boys got to be together at that table, and stupid Adyson was playing 'Isabella', flirting with Buford and Phineas almost simultaneously. The only person who didn't look like he was having fun was Phineas. Ooof.

Ginger glanced sideways at Baljeet and Mishti, and very violently stabbed a piece of her steak. "Ginger," I asked. "Are you ok?"

"Yes." She said aggressively.

"Oh Ginger," I sighed. "You're normally such a sweet, in-control person. Relax. What is about Mishti that has driven you so crazy?"

"Isabella, she's PERFECT!" Ginger exclaimed. "We all know Mishti Patel is perfect! No matter what I do, I will never be her. I'll never be his first friend, maybe his first… love, I'll never be as beautiful as her, I'll never be…"

"Vanessa." I stated plainly.

I glanced over at the bride's table. Vanessa and Monty were smiling together, although, I have to say… in addition to looking really weird individually, the Doofenshmirtzes and the Monograms all looked like they personally hated each other, especially Monty and Vanessa's dads.

"That's always exactly how I felt… still how I feel about Vanessa." I said weakly. "You know that Ginger."

"Oh Iz." She smiled sadly.

"But look… it all worked out." I said. "Ferb is in love with me… and Baljeet is in love with you. You helped me last year… and I'll help you with this."

"Ginger… he's not going to DO anything… I think." Katie remarked.

"What are you guys talking about?" Irving asked perkily.

"Mishti. OW!" Katie cried, as I kicked her. Would she please learn to shut her big mouth?

"Isn't she hot?" Irving said excitedly.

"Ew." I said. "Go back to eating."

"Why are we friends with him again?" Gretchen whispered.

"Because Phineas is a nice person." I said. "Sooo… how are things with Phineas?"

"Isabella!" Gretchen laughed.

"You're supposed to end up with Phineas!" I declared.

"What!?" Katie and Ginger exclaimed.

"It's… an Isabella scheme." Gretchen rolled her eyes. "She's trying to find Phineas a girlfriend."

"I never thought I would ever hear those words." Ginger said.

"So you picked Gretchen, and not me?" Katie exclaimed.

My mouth dropped open. Wait, was EVERYONE in love with Phineas? Why didn't he have a goddamn girlfriend then? "You like Phineas?" I gasped.

She started laughing. "No. Got you good though."

"Katie!" I cried.

"We aren't ALLOWED to be in love with Phineas, Isabella. First, because of you, and now, because of Adyson. But mainly… because of Phineas." Gretchen said.

"Oh, come on guys…" I groaned.

"Hey, guys," Katie turned her attention to the main table. "Yes or no… do you think Phineas is actually ever going to fall for someone?"

Django scratched his head. "Didn't we bet he would?"

"That was with Isabella." Ginger said. "Idiot."

"Right. Sorry, you know I don't constantly hang out with you guys." He replied.

"What about you, Irving?" I asked.

"Phineas can get any girl." He said confidently.

"See!" I said.

"But, will he?" Katie asked.

"Nope." He said, just as confidently.

"SEE." Katie said.

"Hey, lovebirds," Gretchen asked Kyle and Wynne. "Do you think Phineas can fall in love? Discounting Isabella."

"I… don't think so." Wynne said. "I figured he probably loved Isabella. And he didn't. So obviously, I don't know what the heck I'm talking about."

"I figured he was probably a machine who killed the real Phineas before he hit puberty. You know, what did Red tell me he called them once… phinedroids." Kyle joked.

"Be serious, guys… none of you guys think Phineas can find love?" I whined.

"I hope he can." Ginger said. "But… he's better off without it. Let him stay in his oblivious world, Isabella. Because once he comes out of it… he'll turn into that." She pointed at Baljeet, whose arm was around Mishti's shoulders.

At that point, the music started and finally, everyone could get up and dance. Vanessa had strongly declined a solo first dance with both her father and husband… probably due to a high probability of something going tragically/hilariously wrong. So, I could finally go to Ferb.

"You all look like you were having a lot of fun." I said.

"Would rather have been with you." He said.

"Me too." Can't tell him I was thinking about marrying him. Can't tell him we were talking about Phineas again either.

"Mmm… come on Phinny. Let's dance." Adyson said seductively, pulling him with her.

"Ok?"

Oh god. I rolled my eyes. This was not going anywhere. Adyson had honestly flirted her way into a lot of guys', um, let's go with "heart". Of course, Phineas wasn't remotely interested. When was she just going to pick Buford? I mean hello? Why does she like Phineas!? What does she think is going to happen? How could she get Phineas Flynn to fall for her, much less become her, urgh… just no! I really don't even want to imagine Phineas and Adyson sleeping together. EW. I mean, he does need a girlfriend badly but… anyway, we had other issues.

"Would you like to dance with me, Baljeet?" Mishti asked sweetly.

He pulled at his collar. "Sure."

The wedding was way too much fun, honestly, especially to be Vanessa's. When the fast songs came on, everyone was singing along. Sometimes a circle formed and people would take turns showing off their best (or worst!) moves in the middle. With the slow songs, I would mostly dance with Ferb, but we switched around. I danced with Kyle, Buford, Baljeet; even Monty once! You couldn't stay on the dance floor forever though; luscious dessert came out, and there was a huge open bar. The bar was so great that… it was TOO great. After a while, the dance floor started to get a little more… loopy. Irving started hardcore rapping the songs, Vanessa's maid-of-honor was grinding on Monty's dad's assistant, and some kind of lasers started shooting off from the ceiling, with Vanessa's dad calling "MY BAD." Good thing this thing was adults only.

"Whoop-de-doop." Adyson came over to me and Ferb, giggling. "Hi guys!"

She was drunk. Every day, I have to contemplate a little more why Adyson Sweetwater was my best friend. Though she had grown out of it a little, Adyson was the biggest party girl in college. I was not. At all. I was a good girl. I had always been a very good girl. Sweet little Isabella. That was my reputation and I had desperately tried to keep it. Until I decided to, umm, you know, the friends-with-benefits thing. And Ferb… I don't know WHERE he learned what he knows and I don't wanna know. Let me just say, I'm glad.

"Ferb, you still owe me that birthday dance." Adyson made kissy lips at him.

"WHOA." I said. "Let's not get crazy, babe. I think you should go to bed."

"Yeah… If you two are here… Phineas will have room, won't he?" She giggled. Ferb raised his eyebrows.

"Addy, go to sleep." I sighed.

"Nooo!" She whined. "How come Ginger doesn't have to go?"

"Ginger?" I asked incredulously. "Where is Ginger?"

"At the bar." She tipped a little.

"Oh god." I said. "Ferb!" He followed, like always. I'm pretty sure Ferb was more worried about me than the rest of the gang.

"Hit me again." Ginger was lying across the bar counter, her hand clasping a cold glass.

"Ginger?" I asked, concerned.

"Hey Isabella." She didn't sound too wasted. But Ginger wasn't a super lightweight like me and most of the girls. "Whatcha' doin'?" She said sadly.

"What are you doing?" I questioned.

"I'm having fun. The only way I know how. How else can I watch my boyfriend slow-dance with his one true love?" She whimpered.

"Ginger…" I said gently. Ferb patted her head.

"His mom doesn't like me. She thinks my family is stuck-up. Mrs. Patel is her best friend." She said drunkenly. "Do you know Baljeet and I ONLY do it missionary? That's it!" Ok, this might be getting a little uncomfortable. "I'm pretty. I have guy friends. Why didn't Milly ever tell me to do the fuck buddy thing, huh? HUH?"

"Oh my god, Ferb…" I whispered.

"Hey Ferb! Would you have had sex with me?" Ginger asked loudly.

"This isn't good." He whispered back.

"Answer!" She said angrily. "Come on! You would've, right? I can get more than Baljinder." She slurred all together.

At that point, we heard loud squealing like a little girl being punished.

"Come on Addy." Gretchen passed by us, dragging her by the arm.

"Noooo!" She squealed.

"You're gonna make a scene." Gretchen declared.

"Are you taking her upstairs?" I asked.

"Heck yeah I am." Gretchen declared. "As if we couldn't look more like idiots in front of Vanessa and her friends."

"Ginger," I poked her. "Do you want to go upstairs with Gretchen?"

"Yeah." She nodded sadly. She looked like she was going to start crying. "Let's go."

"Dammit, Ferb." I turned to him. "I have to go yell at someone. Where is Baljeet?" He gestured towards one of the tables. Buford, Baljeet, Kyle, Wynne, and Mishti were all sitting there and eating wedding cake.

"Ok, so you're telling me his last name was actually Adjacent? That's bullshit!" Kyle laughed.

"Don't make me punch you."

"Don't tell me you guys are drunk too." I said wearily.

"Maybe a little bit." Wynne said, shrugging. "We have had a lot of champagne by now."

"Can you even get drunk off of champagne?" Kyle said skeptically.

Mishti giggled. "Yes! I'm having a lot of fun, Mr. Fletcher. Thank you for inviting me." She said sweetly.

"Ok," I crossed my arms. "Baljeet and Buford, how could you let your girlfriends get drunk like that?"

"Wait, I have a girlfriend?" Buford asked.

"What do you mean?" Baljeet asked.

"Party has been getting SUPER drunk." Kyle said.

"Come on!" I declared. "Baljeet, you need to – " I stopped talking. We all stopped talking. Because suddenly we heard loud drunken shouting.

"BEST… DAY… EVER…!"

That voice was too familiar. "Is that… Phineas?" Baljeet asked incredulously.

"You don't think…" I glanced at Ferb.

"Oh shoot." Buford said.

We all ran towards the noise. Standing there, was indeed… no, this wasn't Phineas. This guy was totally wasted. His eyes were glanced over and he had a dizzy smile on his face. He was basically that drunk guy you really want to avoid at a party. I had never seen Phineas drunk before. I had never even seen Phineas drink before.

"Whoo! Alright!" Phineas took a few wobbly steps back. Ferb's eyes got big and he caught him as he almost fell. The wine glass he had been holding, however, fell and cracked on the ground, spilling out champagne.

"Phineas, you're drunk!" I exclaimed.

"No… no I'm not." He slurred.

"Oh my god!" I would have expected Buford to be laughing at this, but he looked just as horrified as we did.

"Back… back to the open bar!" Phineas slurred, smiling. If this was a cartoon, I would be able to see the bubbles coming from him.

"Phineas, you need to go to bed!" Baljeet declared.

"Shushhhhh… no, no I don't." He said, wobbling.

"Phineas!" I exclaimed. "Why did you do this? Why did you drink so much? What is wrong with you? You're being so…"

"Shut up, Isabella, do you ever shut up?" He muttered.

"Phineas, stop." Ferb said seriously. "I won't let you ruin Vanessa's wedding."

"Oh… huh… um, have you guys seen my glass?"

"Phineas, listen to us…" I said slowly, "We're just looking out for you, we're your best friends."

"No you're not!" He said, his tone rising. "You… you think I'm a… 'third wheel', and they, they all think I'm a loser and I need to…" He rubbed his hands together.

Buford smacked his hand to his forehead. "Christ, he can't even get the hand gesture for sex right."

"Right? Right? No one tells me anything! And I tell you guys everything! And when I do, you just… laugh. Ha ha ha. 'He needs to get laid.'" He drunkenly laughed. "Ha ha ha! Obell… Ob-liv… 'Oblivious Phineas', that's what you all call me, isn't it! You're not my friends! You think I'm an idiot!"

We all stared at him, totally taken aback. This was what Phineas thought? Underneath his sweet positivity, this is what he thought about us?

"Phineas, listen to me, we never meant to…" I whimpered.

"Carpe diem… CARPE DIEM!" Phineas started singing loudly and out of tune.

"What in the…" Candace came storming up to us, Jeremy close behind. "Oh my god."

"Hey Candace!" Phineas bleated.

"What…"

"We don't know." Buford replied. "We don't know how, or why, or when either. All we know is he got himself ridiculously drunk!"

"I knew it!" I whimpered.

"What?" Ferb replied.

"He's upset we've all started pairing up and he's all alone." I whispered. Oh, I knew it. Ginger and Baljeet, me and Ferb, even Buford and Adyson. He couldn't even compare and be in the same boat as Vanessa after the break-ups because here she was as the blushing bride!

"Phineas, stop it right now!" Candace exclaimed. "Jeremy and I are taking you to bed!" Her motherly instincts were kicking in.

"No, Candace, we were…" I began.

"It's fine, Isabella." Jeremy said kindly. "You and the gang go have fun."

"How are we supposed to have fun?" I said, pacing around the dance floor. The dim lights now seemed eerie in some way.

"That was… disturbing." Buford said. "Phineas got himself drunk. Whoa."

He's sinking. We've got to pull him out of this.

"Maybe we should go to bed too." Baljeet said. "It is pretty late." We all walked back to the elevators and got out on our floor in silence.

"Ok, come on." Buford said to Baljeet. "'Night."

"Goodnight, guys." I said wearily. I never even told him about Ginger.

"Ohmygod Ferb, ohmygod." I said weakly. "You saw them… Ginger… and Phineas!"

Ferb growled. "Goddamn it, Phineas." He said angrily, opening the door to my suite.

"What was wrong with him?" I asked, just as bothered.

"I'll tell you what was wrong with him, the same thing that's always wrong with him! He has no clue how the real world works! For him, it's either all maths and figures or all dreams and fantasies! There's no in-between! I bet you a million dollars he didn't even know he would get drunk! Stupid moron!"

"I mean," I paced around. "I'm right! I have to be right! Why else would he have done it? He yelled at us, Ferb! He doesn't like being the third wheel. He doesn't like everyone making fun of him for being oblivious. He's only just realized it."

"Yeah… because of how oblivious he is! We're not his fucking parents, Isabella. And we've been acting like we are for way too long."

"Uggh," I collapsed back onto the bed. "Stupid Phineas!" I sat up. "You know I'm right, Ferb, you have to know now. He needs a girlfriend. He needs… gravity… in his life."

"I didn't get to tell you," He said weakly. "You look so beautiful tonight."

I smiled. "Oh, baby. And you…" I sat up. "Always look sooo sexy in a tux." He closed his eyes and smiled. "Mmm, do you want to have a little fun now?"

"Don't I always?" He responded. I giggled as he sat down next to me and pulled me into his arms. "I watched Vanessa Doofenshmirtz get married today. And I couldn't be more happy for her." He said it as though it had just hit him. It was done. No more Ferb and Vanessa. Ever. Wow. He had loved her for forever. And it was officially over.

"Yay." I said softly. Ok, no more Phineas and Vanessa, please! I crashed my lips into his. Mmm, I was home. He cradled my head and back.

"Ok," I kissed his cheek. "Now we have to deal with getting tuxedos and fancy dresses off." I whispered.

"Curses." He joked.

"Unzip me." I said, standing up.

He left an openmouthed kiss on my back. I sighed. "I was thinking about this when I was zipping you in."

"Me too. Ferb, do we like, have a problem? Because this is all I ever want to do."

"Yes, we do. It's called 'being in love'."

I stepped out of the dress. "Fuck. Were you saving that line?"

He shrugged. "You were setting it up for me."

"Aah!" I squealed, laughing. I rushed at him. "You little…"

"No, no, no…"

I flipped my hair. "Ok, fine." I crossed my arms. "You have more accessories than me, Mr. 'Cummerbund and Cufflinks'."

"Ok, ok." He started undoing his bowtie and taking everything off. "Are you just going to pose there, like a supermodel?"

"Huh?" I realized, I wasn't wearing my dress, but I still had my jewelry, makeup, shoes, and hair done, so I basically looked like I was modeling for a lingerie shoot. "No…"

"No, you look pretty." He said, leaning back and looking at me affectionately.

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. "Ferb… I…" I started giggling. "You're the only one who's ever going to see me like this, anyway."

"Are you sure about that?" He joked.

"Yes." I replied. "Mmm…" I slowly took off my earrings. "You, Ferb Fletcher, are the only person, who's allowed to see anything… and everything."

"Bella." He mumbled. I fell on top of him, into a kiss.

"Take your clothes off." I grumbled. I fumbled with his shirt buttons, and somehow he was taking off his pants at the same time.

"You're still wearing the shoes." Ferb said.

"Christ." I sat up to unbuckle them, and Ferb sneakily undid my bra. "Mmm," I felt his lips on my neck. "I really need you."

His hands danced on my chest and he laid me back on the bed. He took off his boxers and pulled my panties down. "You still look pretty." He smiled.

"Shut up." I replied.

He went into me and I moaned. We're so in-sync, it never takes any time to get into a pattern now. My hips went up and down. "Ferb!" I declared desperately. I don't think it took very long before I was crying his name out very very loudly, over and over, with every thrust. He always hit just the right spot. I was in heaven. His mouth traveled to my neck and I dug my nails into his shoulders. I moaned loudly.

"Ohhhh… Fuck… FERB… harder… don't stop… baby… Ferrrrb…" I gasped. I felt his warm breath on me and I just couldn't last. I screamed out, and the bed shook a little.

I pulled one leg up and Ferb stayed on top of me, kissing every part of my face.

"Oh," I moaned. "Ferb…"

"That was…"

"Yeah." I replied. "Oh, this love addiction is getting worse."

He laughed and kissed me.

* * *

 **LOL, if you didn't see that coming, you obviously haven't read Catch 21. You all know how I've been asking for a Drunk Phineas... and I totally flipped it from** **everyone else's, ha! There must be something fishy in my alcohol... cute little Isabella turns into a wild party girl, quiet little Ferb turns into a nutty goofball, and sweet little Phineas turns into a bitter asshole! HA HA HA!**

 **I'll leave future speculations up to you...**


	13. Surprise

**OH my god Fanfiction. The effort it took to update and get the alert out for this chapter. We've dubbed it a crisis, lol. I hope you didn't get two thousand emails from me. I wanted to get these out BEFORE finals. Fail. Hope I don't fail those, lol. As always, please review. I feel I might get some sort of reaction from you all with this one... but it may or may not be good...**

* * *

Creating a successful Grand Unification Theory has stumped even the greatest physicists for years. Supposedly though, if the particles are at high enough energies, they will all merge. However, it's probably not true. Some things just seem impossible.

"Good morning, Isabella." I whispered into her ear.

"Mmm…" She rolled over to face me. "Good morning." She yawned. "Stupid Vanessa was right. About the bedrooms."

I rolled my eyes. "Is this beef with Vanessa ever going to go away?"

"I don't know." She replied. "How about I say stupid Adyson was right about the bedrooms instead?" We started laughing. I kissed her and ran my hand down her body. "Really… I'm ok with Vanessa. I think." She said. "You can hang out with her, I guess. After you marry me." She joked.

"Yes." I smiled. "After I marry you." I continued running my hand along her.

"Well," She said. "Time to get up." She threw her legs over the side of the bed, and then started rummaging through her suitcase.

"All my stuff is in the other room." I groaned. I really didn't want to have to put on half a tux or something.

"I came prepared." She giggled. She threw something at me. Just a pair of my grey sweatpants and a grey T-shirt. "Just for your walk of shame." She winked.

"Bella…" I laughed.

"Come on… I'm hungry. They have a good buffet here." She said. "And everyone will be having breakfast together, it'll be fun!"

"Ok, love." I kissed her. "I'll be back here in two minutes."

I walked out her door. Leaving Isabella's room, I passed the elevator, and as I passed, it opened.

"Candace!"

"Ferb!" She exclaimed. "Did you and Isabella 'have fun' last night?" I wasn't sure whether to be embarrassed or laugh, so I just nodded. "Jeremy and I did." Then, we did start laughing. She must still be a little drunk or something, she was acting a little ditzy. "What was in that champagne, man? I know, obviously, Vanessa and Monty were doing it, but also us, you two, Stacy and Coltrane… and I don't want to get gross, but Mom and Dad," She laughed even harder. "And I'm pretty sure Vanessa's Mom and Dad too. EW! And Jenny met this really hot groomsman. Wow! This was the wedding for drunk hookups. I wouldn't be surprised to see a dog coming out of a cat's room. Well, that's what happens when you have an 'adults only' party." She smiled. "Ha, it's so nice to have just a little time away from the munchkins. Don't get me wrong though, I miss them. I realized that when I was basically carrying Phineas."

"Is he ok?" I asked.

"Eh, he's fine! He was walking, talking, embarrassing himself… it was great! He's in your room."

Shoot, Phineas. I had totally forgotten. He must be soooo hung-over right now. I felt like yelling at him for last night, but I could only imagine that little Phineas felt awful. He had been feeling upset recently, as only Isabella had been noticing, and he had finally shown it to everyone last night. Whether it was from the teasing about his stupid sweet cluelessness about everything or loneliness about all the relationships, I didn't know. It could be both. Or something else entirely. When I actually did get to our suite, I could see him, standing right there.

"Oh God!" Groaning to himself while gently banging his head against the wall, was Phineas.

"Um, Phin?"

"Ferb!" My brother looked shocked to see me. "I thought… I thought you were sleeping in Isabella's room?"

Phineas did not look well at all. I had no idea why he had gotten so drunk, but he was very hung-over, as I had assumed. He was just wearing one of those big hotel robes, which was also weird. I couldn't tell what was underneath. Despite looking like he was going to collapse from the hangover symptoms, he was also super jumpy.

"I still have things in the suite and- "

"NOTHING!"

Phineas cut me off and sprung in front of the door, his arms covering it. I stared at him. I opened my mouth again but…

"NOTHING!" He screamed again. "I mean… I'm not doing anything now, I didn't do anything last night, and there's no one in there!" Phineas said, way too quickly, while also tugging at his ear.

Wait… What? WHAT? This could only mean one thing. I took a step back slowly, then another one, then suddenly I was sprinting down the hall. "BELLA!"

"Ferb!" Phineas ran after me, and before I knew it, I was tackled to the ground.

"Ow!" I exclaimed. "Jesus!" I glanced up at my brother, who was digging his elbows into my sides by the way. "Who's in there?!" I hissed. And Candace was right… What was in that champagne?

"No one!" Phineas said, but in a panicked move, his hand flicked against his ear lobe again.

"You have a tell, we all know!" I declared.

Isabella's door opened, and Phineas' hand covered my mouth. "Umm?" She stared.

"Hi." Phineas said, awkwardly. I growled.

"Let him go, Phineas, he's going to break out soon anyway." She said wearily. "Why are you fighting? And why are you only wearing… a bathrobe… and boxers?"

Phineas blushed fiery red as we both got up. "N-nothing." He stammered again.

"Are you really going to label the lady in your room as nothing, Phin? Very ungentlemanly." I shook my head at him, but laughed a little at his glowing red face, practically matching his hair.

Isabella gasped. "Oh my god!" She was completely stunned, but she couldn't stop a smile creeping onto her face. "Phineas!"

"I… I was drunk! I barely remember!" He whimpered.

"Oh yeah, boy, you were drunk." She said. Phineas groaned. "Well, since you obviously don't know how a one-night-stand works, are you going to just LEAVE? Or are you like, going to wake her up and get breakfast and maybe see where this thing goes?"

"Umm…"

"Phin…" I paused him. "Is this someone we… know?" If possible, he turned even redder.

"OH MY GOSH!" Isabella squealed in delight. "It's Gretchen, isn't it? Isn't it? I knew, I knew! Oh Ferb, we are the best matchmakers in the entire world, it always works out!" Isabella got up and rushed to the room.

"WAIT! ISABELLA!" He ran after her. Oh God…

"Open it!" She squealed. "Or I'll just text her, maybe she's awake…"

"Izzy… it's not Gretchen…"

I watched her face drop. Uh-oh. I had another guess, and Isabella had the same one. "No. Phineas, no. Tell me it's not Adyson. Tell me you did not go and have a one-night stand with Adyson Sweetwater. She's not good for you. She's not good for anyone. She's not even good for Adyson! And, tip for everyone, Buford is falling for her, you could be hurting him! Oh god, open that door, Phineas!" She demanded.

"Isabella…" He warned.

Phineas slept with Adyson. Phineas slept with Adyson. Wow… no matter how many times I said that to myself, it would never feel real. It was true though… Phineas had been feeling relatively… miserable… recently, and Adyson was the only person who had been showing him an extreme amount of affection. Then, the girlfriend idea, and us basically insulting him about his sex life, and he had been so drunk, and she had been so drunk…

Ha… relatively miserable… she had been so drunk…

 _"Hey Ferb! Would you have had sex with me?"_

SHIT! SHIT SHIT SHIT! He didn't… he wouldn't… Baljeet was our best friend… he would kill him…

"Phineas, open the door!" Isabella exclaimed.

"Bella…" I said weakly. "There was… _another_ … drunk girl down there last night."

"There was another… Who… Gin-" She suddenly shrieked. "OH DEAR GOD! PHINEAS!"

"I didn't mean to!" He whimpered.

No, not Phineas and Adyson. That would've been a nutty mess. But THIS… this was the perfect storm. All of it. The other woman, the insults, the jealousy, the bitterness, the idea of a girlfriend, the actual boyfriend, the drunken wedding… as he might say, so… serendipitous. Frighteningly, terrifyingly, serendipitous. This was so much worse. Oh my GOD. SHIT.

"No, Isabella, Ferb, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He looked like he was two minutes from flinging himself across the door again.

"PHINEAS!" Isabella screamed. "You slept with Ginger! GINGER!? I'm going to kill both of you!"

Isabella marched in, with me close behind, as I flipped the main light on. She sat up in the bed, wearing almost no clothing, with her normally silken hair in a poof out to rival Isabella's, and her normally perfect makeup all gone except for dark black eyeliner, presumably from last night, still smeared around her eyes. However, she still looked undeniably sexy.

Isabella's mouth fell into a perfect "O". I was beyond shocked. Ok… so we were wrong. But Baljeet was definitely still going to kill him.

"Mishti!" Isabella exclaimed.

"Hi guys." She said sleepily.

We turned, stunned, to Phineas. He flashed us an awkward smile. "UM, surprise?"


	14. Loose Tongues

**Alright Fanfic, ol' boy, let's see if you're back to normal...**  
 **Ha ha, so we sort of left on a cliffhanger. For Guest numero dos, I hope this is Pineapple-esque enough for you. Guests, feel free to write some names for yourselves. That's where I started, lolz.**

 **P.S. Will everyone do me a favor? There's a spam review on my other story and it is driving me _crazy._ Also, she, let's go with she, has been leaving them on lots of people, my friends' accounts, all over the site. So, yeah, please report it for me, and probably block that crazy too, if you're a writer with a lot of reviews. Look for Spiritual-Sister.**

* * *

I remember the moment Minka stepped out of Phineas' apartment. I had just been so absolutely stunned. This girl was so beautiful, and Phineas had just been completely casually walking her out. And my mind went rampant… imagining what exactly he had been doing with such a girl. Of course, he had been doing absolutely nothing with her, and only thought of her as a friend. As usual. As the years had gone by, it had become the default that Phineas didn't really "get it on" with anybody. That wasn't even an option. Until…

"Ohhh no." I groaned. "Ohhh no. You slept with Mishti?!"

"I… I… I… I…" Phineas stammered.

We all glanced back at her, as she yawned and stretched her arms out in the bed. Jesus fucking Christ, she looked like a Victoria's Secret model.

"Well…" I noticed the boys were still eying our model. "Stop staring at her!" I growled at Phineas and Ferb.

"Sorry." Phineas whimpered.

"Ok, um… maybe you didn't actually sleep with her, you just… slept next to her!" That sounded like the stupidest thing ever, especially with a girl like Mishti, and with the fact that they were both in their underwear, but he had been so drunk, maybe he just passed out. I mean, it was Phineas. It wouldn't surprise me if he did wind up in a pretty girl's room and do nothing with her at all.

"That's what I thought, maybe… and then I found this." Phineas said weakly, and he gently put something into my hand. I opened it to… a crushed condom wrapper.

Ferb's eyes got wide. "Oh, shit! Phineas!" I exclaimed. "Where did you even get… you know what, I don't wanna know!"

"I was drunk, Isabella, I was really drunk!" He pleaded.

"Great, so you insult all of us, almost ruin Vanessa's wedding and force everybody to have to babysit you, and then, you sleep with Mishti!" I exclaimed.

"I'm sorry!" Phineas cried. "Nothing I said was true! I didn't mean anything! And… I don't remember any of it!"

"Hmm," We suddenly noticed Mishti was coming out of her sleep daze, as she shook her head and got up out of the bed.

"What's Baljeet going to say?" I whispered.

"I don't know." Phineas said weakly. "Nothing. He won't say anything, right?"

Ferb shook his head. "He's going to kick your ass, Phineas."

"What?" Phineas said, in fear.

"Good morning." Mishti smiled, walking to us. She was still wearing nothing but her lingerie, and it was so gorgeous too, jeez, I want a set like that. It was all black and lacy and made her perfect body look even hotter.

"Good morning, M-M-Mishti." Phineas couldn't even look at Mishti. He had turned violently red again, and was so embarrassed and terrified at the same time. Meanwhile, Mishti just looked completely comfortable, even with all of us here. I hate how some girls have that much self-confidence, while others are just a mess, like me.

"Wasn't last night fun?" She asked chirpily.

"Last night… f-fu-fun?" Phineas stammered back to her. Ha, any other guy would have had A LOT of fun with Mishti here. Instead, Phineas looked like he was going to keel over.

"Yeah. Great wedding! Tell Miss Vanessa I was happy to be invited." She smiled at us. "Well, ha, I've got to go back to my own room. Just give me two seconds, I have to re-dress." And she hopped into the bathroom.

"Oh my god." I exclaimed. Well, Mishti was acting exactly the same as always; sweet and chirpy and sultry. She wasn't embarrassed at all, nor was she showing any kind of interest in Phineas. "Phineas?" He, on the other hand, looked like he was going to pass out. "Phineas, get dressed! Trust me, a lot of people we know are here, we don't want this getting around."

"You want me to lie? Isabella, I'm not good at lying or keeping secrets!" He cried.

"Who cares?" I exclaimed. "If this gets out, I'm not going to be the one in hot water, you will."

"Oh, my head!" Phineas cried. He looked like he was going to start banging it against the wall again.

"Well, I need to get dressed too." Ferb said.

"Fine, fine!" I said. "You all get ready! I… I don't know what to do!"

I really didn't know what to do. I couldn't believe this. I had to help him out though. This was a very sticky situation to be in. First of all, it didn't matter whom it was with… if Phineas Flynn had a one-night-stand, everyone would find it hilarious. And he really didn't need any teasing right now. Second of all, Mishti was not a good person for him to have slept with. At all!

Mishti stepped out of the room and fluffed her hair. "Well, I…"

"You need to go!" I declared.

"Ok." She shrugged. She ran her hands through her hair.

"Mishti, go!" I exclaimed.

"Why do you three look worried?" She asked. "Is something wrong?"

"I don't know. It could be." I said.

"Alright." And she left.

"I'm gonna be sick." Phineas said loudly.

"Relax." Ferb said.

"I… oh my god… I… she and I…" He really did sound like he was going to be sick.

"Boys, please change." I said.

"Ferb, tell me I didn't sleep with Mishti! Tell me I didn't!" He cried.

"Phineas, pull yourself together!" I exclaimed.

"KILL ME!" He cried. Ferb did the only logical thing; he slapped him. "Thanks. I needed that." He said weakly.

"I am going to step outside, you two will put on real clothes, and we will go downstairs. That's it!" I said sternly, and I stepped out.

What a moron! I could only hope Mishti didn't say anything to anyone.

"Hey Isabella!" At that moment, Buford came walking down the hallway. Oh, because that's who we needed right now. "Whatcha' – "

"Shut up!" I said, frustrated.

"Why do you seem so irritated?" He asked. "Hey, is Phineas ok?"

"I… I have no idea." I said weakly. Phineas and Ferb came out at that moment. Phineas seemed really on-edge. "You be the judge."

"You alright, dude?" Buford asked. "I've never seen you get so wasted."

"I'm gonna be sick." He repeated.

"Oh dude… did you go puke somewhere? We should never have left him; everyone thinks he's so brilliant, but really, he's nothing without the four of us. He probably did something stupid." Buford said.

"Yeah, I did." Phineas said sadly.

"Oh, great! What was it? One time, I tried to order Slushy Dawg delivery… and I dialed my grandmother instead. Fuck, was she caught off guard by that one."

"Buford!" I stamped my foot.

"Seriously, what did you do?" He asked. "Tell me."

"I… I…"

"He 'got laid'." Ferb said simply.

Buford burst out laughing. "No way! Phin, this is the best thing that could have happened to you, trust me. Unless she was hideous. Was she hideous? This was a really full wedding; I didn't really scope everyone out."

"Oh… that is not the problem." Phineas whimpered.

Buford rolled his eyes. "Grow up, Phineas. So you had a one-night-stand, big deal. Everyone does it."

"Except not everyone does it with their friends!" Phineas cried. "Oh… crap!" He said, as he realized that was a pretty critical piece of information to leak.

"Wait… who did you sleep with?" Buford exclaimed.

"I can't… Isabella, you tell him." He whimpered.

I groaned. "He slept with… Mishti."

Buford covered his eyes with one hand. "Dinnerbell… you… shit… Mishti?!" He cried. "Baljeet's going to kick your ass!"

Ferb nodded. "That's what I said."

Phineas looked back and forth between us like a frightened child. "No, no he's not… Baljeet never wanted to be anything more than friends with Mishti. Baljeet is in love with Ginger."

"Uh-huh." Buford said skeptically. "So let me remind you… how did you feel when you found out that Ferb had secretly been sleeping with 'your girl' Isabella, even though you were 'just friends' and you 'had no feelings' for her?"

Phineas gulped. "I… um… he…"

Ooo, we were all thinking it: Baljeet's going to DESTROY him.

Phineas covered his face. "This is so bad." He mumbled into his hands. "The only way it could be worse was if it was you, Isabella." Buford burst out laughing. Phineas' head shot up. "I did not mean that how it sounded!" He cried. "I mean…"

"You're not sleeping with my girlfriend any time soon." Ferb said seriously, but not at all harshly. I sighed. Stupid Phineas.

"No. It could have been Wynne. Or… Ginger." Buford started laughing. "Or… Vanessa!"

"Buford, be serious!" I declared.

"I am! Those all could've been worse. Instead, he managed to nail the most perfect girl in the universe." He said. "Unfortunately, Baljeet may or may not have told us he really has feelings for Mishti."

"What!?" I cried.

Buford shrugged. "So, you know, too bad, Phineas. Baljeet is going to kill you before anything can come out of this night in bed."

"Ooh…" Phineas groaned. "Why? Why did I…?"

"Sleep with her?" Buford finished. "Because she's fucking hot."

"But I would never…!"

"Nope. You've officially lost that excuse, Dinnerbell. I was right. You're just a much of a perv as the rest of us. I guess we just need to get you drunk to see it." He said.

"Why did you get so drunk?" I asked angrily.

"I never meant to." He said wistfully.

"You never drink." Ferb said.

"YEAH! So what?" Phineas yelled. "I never drink, I never swear, I never get laid! I get it! Maybe I was getting sick of being Phineas." He said sadly.

I hugged him. Poor Phineas. I never knew Phineas had as many inner demons as the rest of did. I came across as the beautiful confident leader and Ferb came across as this gorgeous cool ladies' man, but as we both knew, from being each others' confidants for years, inside was a desperate little girl and a quiet little boy who were so insecure from years of heartbreak. We had still put on the bright happy faces though. Phineas always had the brightest face in the room. Maybe that hadn't meant he was the happiest… maybe he was the most tortured. Not from the pain of love, but the pain of constant optimism, and obliviousness, and sweet innocence itself.

"Ok, so as of right now, the important thing is to make sure Baljeet doesn't find out." I said.

"Don't you think Mishti will tell him?" Buford questioned. "They're always together."

"I don't know." I said.

"Well, you don't tell us about every guy you're with." Ferb said, a little irritably.

That was true. Even Ferb didn't know about the guys I had slept with. Which, I guess, as my boyfriend, was irritating to think about. "Ok. You're probably right."

"I don't even know what happened last night!" Phineas exclaimed.

"Ok… first thing then… let's find Candace. She was the last one with you. Mishti wasn't even upstairs when we left." I said.

"Go, go, go!" Phineas cried. We all charged to the elevator, and out to the breakfast buffet, where everyone was. Everyone, as in… almost the entire wedding.

"Don't let Baljeet near you!" I cried. "There's Candace!" She was sitting with Jeremy and her mom and dad.

"Oh no…" Phineas backed away. "Ha… no, no… I don't want my mom to find out about this."

I couldn't even imagine that conversation. At all. Mrs. Flynn considered Phineas her baby, and despite all the accusations from Candace… She thought Candace and Ferb were much stranger than Phineas… Phineas was the good one.

"Shush… ok, she's getting up." I said.

The minute Candace was out of her table's field of vision, the four of us grabbed her so fast it was like a kidnapping.

"Aaahh, what is going on?" She exclaimed. "It's you guys. Figures."

"Candace, what happened last night?" Phineas exclaimed desperately, shaking her. "What happened last night!?"

"I'm pretty sure Ferb and the gang can tell you more about your drunken escapades than I can, little brother." She said, flicking his hands off like they were bugs. "I didn't think you would ever do something like that."

"I… I…" Phineas was having the worst day ever, which was saying a lot compared to what we had put him through before. Not to mention he had to deal with all of this with a hangover.

"I think what Phineas means to ask, Candace, is, what happened after he left us?" Ferb said gently.

"Jeremy and I brought him to his room. He was acting like a total idiot! And he kept trying to sneak back out. Wouldn't surprise me if he did. Maybe I should have stayed." Candace said guiltily.

"But if you two had stayed, he never would've gotten to do…" Buford trailed off awkwardly.

"What are you guys up to?" Candace questioned.

"Nothing." Phineas squeaked.

"Anyway, that's it. Your pretty little Indian friend came up just as we were leaving. She looked so beautiful last night, Phineas. I know you're the last person in the world to actually listen to love advice, but you should really grab her before some other guy does."

"He already did."

Phineas, Ferb, and I all gave him looks. "Buford, shut… up." I said loudly.

"What?" Candace asked.

"Nothing, nothing…" Phineas whimpered.

"You… no… wait, you… ha, ha… what did you do, Phineas?"

"I said NOTHING, Candace."

"I told you to stay in the room!"

"I was drunk!"

"You… slept with her!" Candace crowed softly. "Oh my god, this really was the wedding for drunk hookups! Oh ho ho… this time, Phineas, this time, I've got you. You… are busted. This isn't going to go away. Ha!" She started Candace-cackling as she left.

"She's going to tell everyone!" Phineas exclaimed.

"You don't know that…" I said.

"Bella," Ferb said. "It's Candace. And Phineas." SHOOT. She was going to tell everyone!

"Stop that redhead!" Buford cried, as we ran after Candace.

Candace seemed to realize we were chasing her, because she didn't stop at her table. She swerved, and in two seconds, we had lost her in the giant dining hall.

Phineas turned around. "Ferb, will you kill me now?"

"Ok, let's eat breakfast." I said. "You are probably so dehydrated." I said to Phineas. "And… um, all of us did… stuff… last night."

"EW." Buford cried.

I filled my plate. This bagel with egg and cheese looked like heaven right now. Instead of fixing Phineas' mess. Buford was right, really. Phineas was a wreck with the rest of us. I sat down next to Ferb and propped my head up with one hand. He gently brushed some hair out of my face.

"I've decided…" Phineas, along with Buford, sat down. "That this is a bad dream. Yup. It never happened. Any of it. And when I wake up, I'll just be at home. And when I'm like… 'Phineas, why did you have such a weird dream?' I'll just say… 'Oh, it was probably Isabella and Ferb next door again.'" I hit him. "Um, OW."

"Well, that proves that you aren't dreaming." I said.

"Actually," Ferb said. "It is possible to feel the sensation of pain in dreams."

"Great. Isabella, hit him again." Buford said.

"You guys are the worst!" Phineas said.

"No, you slept with fucking Mishti!" Buford said. "Get that in your head! YOU-BANGED-BALJEET'S-GIRL."

"Buford…" I said.

"You know that's why this is a problem." He said. Phineas covered his face.

"Hey, guys." Wynne and Kyle came over and sat down with us. "Guess what?" She said. "My roommate like, only just came back to our room. Not like I'm upset."

"Nope. We had our own fun last night." Kyle wiggled his eyebrows.

"Ew. Did everyone hook up with someone last night?" I exclaimed.

"Pretty much." She giggled. "Mishti most definitely did. She was still wearing her dress and her hair was a mess. Um… Is Baljeet accounted for?"

"Trust me… it wasn't Baljeet." I declared.

"Hmm… I wonder who it was then. There were some hot guys there last night." She said thoughtfully.

"Eh, I wouldn't classify him as 'hot'. At all." Buford said.

Ferb narrowed his eyes at him again. "Buford… what the hell is wrong with you?" I asked.

"Yeah, thanks Byoof. That's what I needed right now." Phineas said tiredly.

"What?" Wynne asked.

"I… oops." Phineas squeaked.

"You stupid boys!" I yelled. Every word that pops into their head has to pop out of their mouths. I wish they were all Ferbs.

"You slept with Mishti?!" Wynne exclaimed.

"No…" Phineas said, while practically tearing his ear off.

"Holy cow!" Kyle cried. "Up top, Red."

"Kyle!" I yelled.

"So… how was it?" He asked.

"Kyle!"

"Yeah…" Buford turned. "How was it?"

"I don't remember!" Phineas exclaimed.

"Great, you get in bed with the most beautiful girl in the world, and you don't remember. That is so Phineas." Buford said.

"Ew, you guys suck." Phineas groaned.

"Maybe we should ask Mishti." Wynne giggled. The three of them started laughing.

"No!" I declared.

"So… about killing me, Ferb?"

Ferb shifted his head. "I'm beginning to consider it."

"Phineas, you just need to relax." I said. "Let's go to my room, it'll be empty there."

"Ok… but what if…"

By the elevators, we ran into another awkward redhead. "Phineas!" Irving exclaimed. "I must say, this makes so much more sense. I mean, who would choose an Almordian Vanksloth versus Lump Sharkboard? He's always been the ladies' man! After all, he got Princess Arimea against all odds."

"You do know you're a grown man, right Irving?" I said.

"What are you talking about?" Phineas asked wearily. "Please tell me it's just Space Adventure and not…"

"You! And Mishti!" Phineas was going to faint today, at some point, I swear. "I'm sorry, Phineas, I shouldn't have been hitting on her, I didn't know she was your girl."

"She's not my girl!" Phineas exclaimed loudly.

"Hey!" I exclaimed. "That never stopped you from hitting on me!"

"Yeah," He rolled his eyes. "Because he never got _that_ creative with YOU."

"How did you learn about this?" Ferb inquired.

"I kind of keep tabs on you guys." He said awkwardly.

"Stop with the fucking spy cameras, Irving!" I yelled. "Do you have a sex tape of them… of us? I will kill you!"

"No, no!" He shook with fear. "I only had one in the hallway. And no audio." He adjusted his glasses.

"Wait, so you can tell me what happened?!" Phineas asked, kind of excitedly.

"Sure."

He pulled out his laptop and showed us pretty clear footage. Candace was shoving a clearly drunk Phineas into his room, and like she had said, he looked like he wanted to escape, and at some point, Candace left. Then, we were staring at an empty hallway. Forever.

"OH GOD!" Buford exclaimed. "Something happen!"

"Fast-forward." I declared.

We forwarded the video until finally something started happening. Mishti was wandering the hall, like a lost child.

"Why is she…?"

"Umm, that might be my fault." Wynne said guiltily.

"Right." I facepalmed. "You sexiled her."

"She looks a little…" Kyle inferred.

" 'Yes, you can get drunk off of champagne.' " Buford mimicked Mishti in a girly voice. "Fuck! She was drunk last night too." He shook his head. "DUH. I should have known. Why else would she do someone like Phineas?"

"Hey! She wasn't that drunk!" Phineas declared indignantly. Every single one of us, including Irving, turned our heads to him and gave him _such_ a look. "I… I should shut up."

Then, Phineas stuck his little head out his door, probably after waiting for Candace to leave. Mishti and Phineas spoke, and he looked upset. She patted him comfortingly, the way any of us would, and followed him into his suite; almost like she just wanted to make sure the drunk kid went to bed.

"That's it?" I asked. I don't know what I had been expecting. A wild, hot, passionate makeout in the hallway, leading to him carrying her into his room? Um… yeah, maybe I'm thinking about Ferb here.

"Well, something happened in there." Irving wiggled his eyebrows.

"Yup." Phineas said weakly. "With the wedding and the bar and the video… something happened in there. I… can't do this right now."

"Oh, Phineas." I said.

"No, really, I need to be alone." He sighed and walked away.

"Ferb," I said. "Keep an eye on him." He nodded and followed in that direction.

"Well, we've gotta pack and get out of here." Kyle said.

"Right. Ok, Wynne, check your room for Mishti. If she's there, try and keep her there! Kyle, do the same thing with Baljeet!" I said.

"Right!" She said. "Let's go!"

"Come on!" I said, pulling Phineas and Ferb with me. "Buford, stay there!" I called.

Irving had already vanished. I knew only one person could tell Phineas what happened last night, and that was Mishti. I guess I would have to find her after all. I didn't even make it to the elevator before I heard someone yelling my name.

"ISABELLA!"

"Addy?" Great. "Oh Ferb, just…" He nodded, and they kept going without me.

"Ok, what the fuck?" Adyson proclaimed angrily. "ONE boy for every girl, ONE! I don't care how smart and cute and awesome our guy friends are, ONE!"

"What are you yelling at me for?" I cried. "What did I do?"

"Not you!" She said, frustrated. "Mishti!"

I paled. I was right. No one could keep a secret. And it was spreading like wildfire.

"I guess I know how Ginger felt." She said angrily. "I thought she liked Baljeet!"

"We established she didn't like Baljeet, Adyson." I said.

"Yup. I think that's really clear now. Since she fucked Phineas!"

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed. "Be quiet!"

"I can't believe this." She said, as she walked with me. "He actually slept with her?"

"Yeah." I said.

We went back down to the lobby and were caught by most of the Fireside girls. The girls were giggling like maniacs, but stopped when they saw me. "Do you think they know?"

"Know what?" I said angrily. "About last night? About Mishti and– " The girls burst out into violent giggles again.

"Oh my god, oh my god!" Gretchen wiped a tear from her eye.

"I can't believe he…" Katie laughed.

"Well, she is Mishti." Holly said.

"I'm in pain." Milly wheezed.

"Weirdest… hookup… ever!" Katie declared.

"Stop it!" I exclaimed. "How do you all know?"

"It's… been getting around." Gretchen giggled.

"I just can't believe it." Adyson said. "I didn't think he would ever…"

"You're the one who wanted to hook-up with him!" I exclaimed.

"But… it's still beyond belief, Izzy." She cried.

"Isabella…" Buford came running up to us.

"Who have you told about Phineas?" I asked.

"No one." He said. "Ok… maybe a few people. Unintentionally."

"Buford." I groaned, running my hand down my face.

"Look who's coming our way…" Holly giggled. Who? Mishti? Phineas? BALJEET?

Nope. Ginger. Oh my god, Ginger. I had totally forgotten about her. She was clearly hungover, clasping a paper cup of tea, with the same sad droop to her. What exactly would Ginger think about this situation?

The girls couldn't contain their giggles. "Hi Ginger!"

"Why are all of you guys so giddy?" She asked. "Buford, I hope that it isn't about anything dirty."

"It probably is." He snorted. All the girls, even Adyson, started laughing at that.

"You guys!" I whined.

"What?" Ginger asked. "What?" Ginger was used to being left out of jokes or being the butt of them, so she was eagerly waiting to be let in on this.

"There has been an unexpected hookup." Gretchen said.

"Wait…" Ginger stared slowly at Buford and the girls laughing, then back at me. "What?"

"PHINEAS SLEPT WITH MISHTI LAST NIGHT!" Katie exclaimed. They all started laughing again.

"What!?" She exclaimed.

"Oh god," Buford laughed. "He was drunk off his ass, Candace brought him back to his room, I guess they met up along the way, she was sort of drunk too, and… he did her!"

"Buford!" I exclaimed.

Ginger's face, for the first time in forever, lit up and she started laughing too. "That's hilarious, oh my god! She slept with PHINEAS. PHINEAS." She started laughing more. Besides the pure absurdity of Phineas Flynn getting drunk and having a one-night-stand, and besides the pure absurdity that he had managed to nail the perfect Mishti Patel, leading to the weirdest hookup ever, Ginger had been so worried about Mishti and Baljeet… and it had ended up being Mishti and Phineas. That was the joke in all this.

Except… Baljeet was going to kill Phineas once he found out.

"Bella."

"Ferb!" I exclaimed. "Everyone knows. How's Phineas?"

"Um…" Phineas was biting at his nails and rocking back and forth. "Hanging in there."

"B-Ba-Baljeet… B-Baljeet… " He suddenly stammered like he was looking at a ghost. The ghost was our best friend, walking towards us.

"Where have all of you been all day?" Baljeet asked. "I have barely seen anyone. Not you four, not the girls, not the guys, not Ginger, not Mishti… why are all of you laughing?"

"No reason." Ginger giggled. "Bye sweetheart." She kissed his cheek. "The girls and I are going to go pack." They left, still giggling and gabbing.

"O… k…" He stared after her. "That was weird. She has not really been so happy with me this past week. Why is everyone acting so excited?" He looked back. "And they were not just laughing… they were laughing at you." He pointed at Phineas. "Is something going on?"

"Something… is… going on." Phineas said awkwardly.

"What?"

"Some stuff you just don't need to worry about, Baljeet." I said nervously.

"What?" He asked.

"Well, Ferb was right. Mishti doesn't tell him everything." Buford said.

"What?" Baljeet exclaimed loudly. "What do you know about Mishti?"

"Stop telling him everything!" I whispered. "He's smart. He'll figure it out."

"I'm not telling him nothin'." Buford said. "I'm just…"

"Would you two stop?" Phineas cried. "This is what I didn't want to happen."

"Wait a minute! Wait just a minute!" Baljeet seemed to finally have realized what was the, the um, hot topic of the day. "You," He turned incredulously to Phineas. "You did something, didn't you?" He stared at Phineas, trying to make him break under the pressure. And he broke.

"Oh my god, Baljeet, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"You- You kissed Mishti?" He shrilled.

"Uh, he might have done more than that." Buford said.

"BUFORD!" We all yelled.

"That time was an accident, I swear!" He said.

"Buford, what the fuck, dude?" I exclaimed.

Buford ignored me. "Now, here's the thing, Jeet…" He started.

"Um, yeah, Baljeet…" I laughed awkwardly.

"Oh, jeez…" Phineas looked really ill.

He gave us all looks and it clicked. "No… no?!" He said it in complete disbelief.

"Well, you did agree he needed to get laid." Buford replied. Ferb punched him. "Ow, man!"

"Yes… but not with her!" Baljeet exclaimed. We were sort of… drawing a crowd in the lobby at this point.

"Baljeet," I said sternly. "You don't like Mishti. You love Ginger."

"That doesn't mean my best friend can go and do her though!" He exclaimed, really loudly and out-of-character. Buford whistled slowly.

"Oh god." Phineas covered his face.

"Move along people, nothing to see here." Buford said loudly.

"Baljeet, it didn't mean anything, I didn't feel anything, heck, I don't even remember! I just woke up and I was lying on her shoulder!" Christ, like that statement is going to erase anything, Phineas.

"Sure, yup, perfect. I bet you wish she had just vanished like everything you make, right? So you would not get in trouble? You know, like how you – never – get – in – any – trouble!" Baljeet exclaimed. "Ha, have all the fun and no cleanup, RIGHT? That is our Phineas!" Oh Jesus Christ, this was getting ugly. "What is wrong with you?"

"I… I was drunk." He stammered.

"You were drunk! Yes, we know you were drunk, Phineas! We were the ones making sure you did not die of alcohol poisoning, or walk out into the street, or even merely embarrass yourself in front of your friends and family! And, I guess we really know now, between what he said and the rest of what he did last night, exactly how much he cares about his best friends!"

"Baljeet, no, I didn't mean to- "

"Stay away from me, and stay away from Mishti!" He said angrily, as he walked off.

"Holy shit." Buford said.

"Oh my god." I exclaimed. "I didn't think he'd be so, so, so… oh my god!"

"He HATES me!" Phineas cried. "Baljeet hates me!"


	15. Backups

**Ok, I really SHOULD be doing other stuff. I even need to finish the next part of Man of Action. FF Homework for me. Anyway, lots of views, thanks, and looks like I've been picking up some shippers, lol, ok.**

* * *

Of everyone in our gang, the chances that there would be a volatile, group-shaking fight had always been very very slim, but if there was to be one, I guess I would've narrowed it down to be among one of three parties. One… Isabella and I. There was no denying we had fought before. And the gang seemed so emotionally invested in us one way or another by now, that if we did have a bad fight, or a bad break-up, they would all have opinions. Two… Buford and Baljeet. They had "split up" before. Again, unlikely. Finally, Adyson and… anybody. She certainly knew how to get under our skins. Probably Isabella, Ginger, or Buford were top contenders. At this point, Adyson was kind of asking for it. I never would've guessed the fight that would've shook our group to its core, that would upset us all, that might lead to broken friendships… would be between Phineas and Baljeet.

We honestly had no idea what to think. So, it was pretty well known that, well, Mishti was, as everyone put it, "Baljeet's girl". She was... well, she was his Isabella. I suppose that doesn't make sense, considering Isabella is Baljeet's best friend and once upon a time, he was head-over-heels for her, but Mishti was to Baljeet what Isabella was to Phineas. That pretty pink perfect girl who had been his best friend since he was a toddler. Essentially… the one girl who we really shouldn't touch, no matter how he felt about her; like family, just friends, maybe a lot more? None of it mattered… us guys couldn't be with Mishti, it went against whatever "Bro-code" that we had. No matter how much griping Irving, Django, Kyle, and Buford had done… they never actually intended to do anything with Mishti. And Phineas? He hadn't intended to do anything with anyone! If the situation had been just a little different, we all would have told Baljeet to go for it. But, then, of course… Phineas slept with her.

Meanwhile, Ginger had been losing her mind this whole vacation over the fact that Baljeet was cozying up to Mishti. She had finally smiled when she learned about Mishti and Phineas… obviously, that didn't last after she learned about Baljeet's reaction. Of course, the girls all automatically took Ginger's side.

So, this in effect meant that all the guys, excluding me, were on Baljeet's side: Phineas knew Baljeet was in love with Mishti and he slept with her anyway… it's all his fault. Meanwhile, all the girls, excluding Isabella, were on Phineas' side: Phineas and Mishti hooking up has nothing to do with Baljeet… Baljeet has a girlfriend… He should back off. Then, everyone started fighting, and opinions were getting blurry, and people were switching sides, and it was just a big mess. Bella and I were completely bewildered and completely stuck in the middle. As for Phineas, he was mortified. The girls giggled whenever he came around. Buford had a never-ending spiel of sick sexual ideas to spew onto him. And Baljeet had flat-out stopped speaking to him. And it was driving him crazy.

"Ok…" Phineas said to himself. "How much longer is Mishti going to be here?"

"A little less than four weeks." I said.

"Four weeks!" He cried. "Ok, um, what food do we have in here that lasts four weeks?"

"You can't just hide away in here until she leaves." I groaned.

"Of course I can!" He said. "Um, can a person survive on gum?" I sighed to myself. "Maybe I can use some sort of drone…" He muttered. "Ok… " He collected a mountain of junk in his arms. "I'm going to go build a bunker in my room and hide my shame for the rest of my life. Tell Isabella I say bye."

"Phin…"

"And tell Baljeet I'm really really sorry!" He said sadly, before kicking his door gently open and going in.

* * *

"He's not leaving his room?" Buford exclaimed. "Damnnn."

"What about Baljeet?" I asked weakly.

"He's PISSED. I couldn't get two words in. He kept ranting about "friendship" and "respect" and "love" and all that shit. He's not thinking rationally." Buford said.

Isabella groaned. "Ginger is FURIOUS. She knew there was something going on between Baljeet and Mishti… and it took this little incident to bring that to light."

"Fuck. Why are WE the idiots' keepers?" Buford complained.

Isabella sighed. "They're our very best friends. We're the ones they rely on when they're upset like this."

"Yay for us." Buford replied sarcastically.

"I mean… I mean, it isn't anyone's fault, really!" Isabella said. "Phineas was… ok, so he shouldn't have gotten drunk. And Baljeet… he has a girlfriend, he doesn't own Mishti! It's both of their faults! Stupid guys."

"What about Mishti?" I asked cautiously. In the middle of trying to diffuse the situation between Phineas and Baljeet, and all the side arguments, I hadn't seen her in days.

"Right! Oh, where's she at?" Buford asked.

"I… I don't know. She's been hanging out with Baljeet, and us girls. She's been around." Isabella replied.

"Are you telling me the girl has no idea that we've literally broken out into chaos because of her?" Buford asked. "Phineas is in goddamn hiding!"

"I don't know, Byoof. I mean, she's not stupid, but… she's kind of clueless. I don't think she's noticed how much we've been talking about her since she got here. I don't think she knows Baljeet has feelings for her." Isabella commented.

I had picked up on that. Mishti had this sweet naivety that could only be rivaled by, well, Phineas. Of course, there were some things about Mishti that were different than him, and us. She was far more mature, and um, more… seductive… than the rest of the gang. She was also very eloquent and put-together. Mishti was too high-class for us. I can't really call myself mature. The guys had put me in fucking drag too many times for that.

"Maybe if we can just put them in the same room, they'll smooth everything over!" Isabella said optimistically.

"Who? Ginger and Baljeet? Baljeet and Phineas? Phineas and Mishti? Man, we are fucked up." Buford groaned.

"Ok…" Isabella thought to herself. "We'll get… everyone together. And see what happens."

"Isabella! They'll explode!" Buford declared.

"No. Phineas wants to apologize. Mishti needs to learn what the hell is going on. And Baljeet might be calmer with everyone around him." She said.

"Baljeet isn't going to come to our house." I said. "And he'll know Phineas, or one of the girls will be at yours, Bella." We turned to Buford.

"Wait," He exclaimed. "I have to throw this thing!? I'm in too deep."

"Come on, Buford!" Isabella pleaded.

"Jesus Christ! Fine! But you owe me, Isabella." He said, as he got up and left.

"I can't believe this happened." Isabella said to me wearily. "I mean, we all had an inkling but… he has a girlfriend!"

I know. It took this to bring it to the light. Surely Mishti had been with plenty of men (although I had no idea). Baljeet had never shown any emotion about this before. But now… I tried to think about it if I was in this position, and suddenly, I sort of understood how he felt. None of Isabella's past flings meant anything. I never would've cared about them, especially while I was with Vanessa. But if she had been sleeping with Baljeet? Buford? PHINEAS? I felt like shuddering. Yes. I understood how Baljeet felt.

"You don't think he was…"

"What?" She flipped towards me.

"Well," I said. "This might sound stupid, but do you think he was… saving her?"

"What?" Isabella exclaimed. "What did we say about her not being an object?"

"That's not what I meant." I said. "Have you ever heard those stories, or seen romantic movies like this… if you and your friend are still single by a certain point… you'll end up with each other?"

Isabella giggled a little. "You think they…?"

"No. But Baljeet only got Ginger last year. He was pitiful and single before."

Isabella started giggling. "Stop trying to make me laugh, Ferb. So in the back of his mind, he was saving Mishti?"

"Maybe everybody does that." I shrugged.

"Uh-huh. So… when you don't get the beautiful Vanessa, who was on the back burner for you?" She asked.

"Nobody."

"It was me, wasn't it?"

"What?"

She started giggling again. "Ferb… you agreed to sleep with me! You got super jealous of Kyle. You never wanted anyone to be with me. That stupid 'If we're still single at 40' or whatever sounds exactly like something we would do." I rolled my eyes. "So, is this a guy thing? Uggh."

"Well… think about Buford and Adyson."

"Aahh! It is a thing! You boys are awful! Backups?"

"I didn't mean to upset you." I said.

"Backups? Really? I couldn't see past Phineas. Adyson can only concentrate on one guy at a time. Most of the girls can't even find one guy to meet their standards, much less two or three."

"Well… that's the difference between the girls and guys." I said. "We have low expectations for ourselves. If we actually meet someone as perfect as Isabella… how can we not think in the back of our minds… I hope I get to keep her."

"Ferb…" She said softly. "I love you."

* * *

Buford's house was never the cleanest place in the world. Although, you couldn't tell when the gang was all here.

"I don't want to be here." Phineas mumbled. I gave him a look. "I'm serious, Ferb. Let me go back into hiding."

I really did feel like laughing at this point, but that would really piss him off. At that moment, my phone rang. I glanced at it. Private. What the hell? I didn't answer again. Who… Was this the same person? Was this someone I should answer? Or just telemarketing?

"Ow, Milly, you bitch!" Katie declared, while throwing something at her friend. "Well, look who's here." She giggled.

Isabella, Holly, Milly, Katie, Gretchen, Wynne, Kyle, Django, Irving, and of course, Buford were already here. "Hi boys." Isabella said weakly. The girls all started giggling again.

"I am so out of here." Phineas whispered. He seemed to do a pivot when the door opened. Oh, please be anyone but Baljeet. ANYONE. Candace. Monty. Khaka Peü Peü! ANYONE!

"I'm not in the mood for this, guys. We better not be doing anything stupid." Ginger said, as she came in and threw an oversized purse on the ground. Oh thank god. She gave Phineas an uncharacteristic glare though.

"Um, we're just hanging out… right?" Gretchen asked cautiously.

"No!" Buford said loudly. "We're here to stop everyone from fighting."

"Fighting? We're fighting?" Django asked.

"Yeah, dummy." Katie said. "On account of Phineas fucking Mishti. OW!" Isabella kicked her hard in the shin. Phineas turned bright red.

"We are NOT fighting." Ginger said shrilly.

"Phineas, you were the one who said Baljeet could never be with Mishti. I didn't know you were hoarding her for yourself." Django laughed.

"I wasn't– " He cried.

"Baljeet is NEVER GOING TO BE WITH Mishti." Ginger fumed.

"Yeah." Holly declared. "Phineas can totally be with Mishti!"

"I'm not trying to– "

"Hey hey hey…" Adyson said. "She kind of decided she wanted Baljeet. She's spending all her time with him. She can't just go and fuck Phineas."

"They're just best friends!" Milly cried.

"Exactly!" Irving said. "He's her best friend. He's in love with her."

"HE IS NOT." Ginger said. "YOU LITTLE FREAK."

"He has a girlfriend!" Holly cried.

"Mishti is never ever going to like Baljeet. He's a million miles in the friendzone." Kyle said.

"She wanted to be with a friend." Wynne commented.

"Phineas is her friend." Gretchen said.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Isabella shouted. "I am not going to let this ruin everything for everyone!" Just then, the door opened again. And this time… it was Baljeet.

"Jeet… hey." Buford said awkwardly. We were all just staring at him.

"Hi sweetheart." Ginger said, although she couldn't mask her angry tone.

"You did not tell me HE would be here." He said sullenly to Buford. We stared, taken aback.

Phineas looked like someone had just set his house on fire in front of him. "Hi Baljeet." He said.

"I said _do not talk to me_. What part of that is so hard to understand? I know my IQ is higher than yours, but I did not know yours was that low." What the hell?

A tiny furrow appeared in Phineas' brow. "Baljeet, I'm really sorry. I told you… I'm really really sorry."

Baljeet rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say."

"What do you want me to say, Baljeet?" Phineas said, getting frustrated now. "How many times do I have to tell you I'm sorry?"

"You would not have told me SHIT if I had not figured it out." Baljeet said.

"You know what, Baljeet? YOU should be apologizing to me! You're acting like a jerk! They're right! I didn't do anything! Look… look right there… you have a beautiful girlfriend right there. I didn't do anything with her."

"It is… it's the principle, Phineas!"

"HA. You're just being a possessive jerk. Mishti's not a thing, she's a person! Are you _jealous_? That she chose me? I didn't do anything; she chose me."

"Go to hell, Phineas Flynn!" Baljeet declared, storming out.

"Yeah? Yeah? Well, you… you… you stay away from me too!" Phineas shouted at the empty doorway.

Oh my God. We all stared, completely speechless. I had NEVER seen Phineas yell at one of his friends, get in a real fight with them before. This was what I had been terrified of when I was sleeping with Isabella… that Phineas would get furious and disown me. I couldn't believe what had just happened. And Baljeet? Baljeet was such a loving person. Yes, he was absolutely the jealous type… and that was the problem here. But I can't believe he had turned so vicious!

"Phineas?" Isabella asked weakly.

"Come on, Ferb. We're going home." He said angrily. I think now was probably the best time to listen to him and quietly follow. I got up and glanced back at the group. Buford flashed me a bewildered shrug. Ginger looked like she really could kill someone right now. And Isabella… Isabella looked like she was about to cry.

"Stupid Baljeet." Phineas was muttering under his breath. "They're right. I'm right. Right, Ferb?" He glanced at me. "He's just being a jerk. I mean, everyone knows I never meant to do anything. And if it's such a big deal, he should have just told- MISHTI!" Phineas nearly jumped into my arms.

Right. In case anyone had forgotten, which, um, we all had, we did, in fact, invite Mishti Patel to Buford's house, probably to beat into her silky head that you can't really have a one-night-stand in this gang without any consequences.

"Hello, Phineas and Ferb." Mishti said, as sweetly as ever.

"Ack!" Phineas almost fell over his own feet. "I… we… you…"

She giggled. "Is something wrong?"

"Yeah. I can't talk to you." He backed away from her. "I'm not allowed to talk to you!"

"What?" She asked, surprised.

"I'm sorry, Mishti."

"You're not allowed?"

"Yeah, tell her, Ferb!" He pleaded.

"What do you mean, 'you're not allowed'?" She laughed. "What, you'll get in trouble for talking to me?"

"Yes!" He said desperately. "So, shoo. Sorry."

She tilted her head. "You certainly are an odd one, Phineas Flynn." She said, as she did turn and continue to Buford's.

"Gosh!" Phineas said, running his hand down his face. "How can she be so…"

"…Oblivious?" I finished.

"Shut up."

* * *

 **So, I kind of just feel like I've been... going through the motions, recently. Writing, (movies too) has become a solace. My mother has concluded that I'm lonely, since my roommate's gone, my sister is gone, all my cousins are still stuck in school, Daddy is going on a business trip, etc. I need a dog, man. So, please review, and feel free to PM me too.**


	16. Girls' Night

**Feels like a long time since I've updated anything. My other story should be updated in the upcoming days. As always, please review duckies.**

* * *

Having a boyfriend really is like having a kid, in retrospect. You go through a lot of effort to give him everything he wants, he sleeps in your bed with you, you coo in a goofy voice at him, and just like with bad kids, you constantly have to make sure he isn't… touching something shouldn't. The guys were all nice boys growing up, even Buford the bully. Phineas was a good kid. He would never swear or yell or, at least not intentionally, break the rules. Baljeet was an extremely good kid. He wouldn't do anything without permission, he got the best grades, and he even put restrictions on himself so his parents never had to. So, why exactly was this fight happening again? They were good kids, but maybe, bad boyfriends?

"You SON-OF-A-BITCH! Yeah! I know! So, you were jealous of him, weren't you?" Ginger let out a stream of Japanese swear words so fast it sounded like we were watching an anime.

"We shouldn't be here." Gretchen said nervously, rocking back and forth on her feet.

"Hey, it's her turn to host. We aren't even early." Adyson said casually. "Not our fault we can hear her screaming through the door."

"Everything he said was right! Why am I not good enough, Baljeet? Why am I never fucking good enough? SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"

Ohh, I felt sick. Why did I feel like in some way this was my fault? I was the one who put the stupid idea that Phineas needed a girlfriend in his head. He was fine before. Now he was upset, Baljeet was upset, and Ginger was upset. As for Mishti…

Mishti, as I've established is a cool girl. We all like her. She's a lot like me actually. She loves pink and girly things, but also sports and doesn't mind getting rough. Plus, she's a lot more mellow. I have to say, I'm a little… high maintenance. Mishti is the most relaxed girl around. Of course, in this situation, I don't know if that was helping anyone but Mishti. She strolled out of Phineas' room like nothing had happened and just kept hanging out with us as chirpy as normal. I have to say, Mishti must have had a lot of one-night-stands. Which is why she probably wasn't the best girl for Phineas to hook up with. While Phineas badly, BADLY, needed to get laid… he also needed to talk it out with the girl too, and Mishti was too relaxed to notice. Ha, what if she thought he was used to one-night-stands too?

If say, Ferb and I had gotten together via one-night-stand, and had never liked Phineas and Vanessa, we might still be in the place we are now. Ok, I might be biased, but Ferb would feel a little guilty about "taking advantage of me" and want to take me out (plus, I would know he's crazy hot in bed!), and we're both die-hard romantics, so we would end up thinking it's fate and see where it goes. It's just our personalities.

The sad thing is, now that they've hooked up, I can't help but want Phineas and Mishti to get together. Grr, I know it's caused a lot of trouble, but she's so what he needs! She was such a sweetheart and so much like him, yet more mature and calm and you know, grounded… while he's still that goofy kid with an excitable personality and innocence. Plus, it seems like she's just as much of a genius as he is. And… oh my god, she got him into bed with her! Like… what the FUCK? Yeah, there's a reason why Baljeet's eyes popped when we were only in like elementary school. I think Mishti's figure is probably better than Vanessa's. Yeah, I said it! I know there are no take backs, but I said it!

The door opened and we all felt upset. Ginger was near tears, but she let us in anyway.

"Ginger, are you ok?" Gretchen asked.

It was like a dam broke and tears started pouring from Ginger's eyes. We rushed to comfort her, and all sat on the couch, which unfortunately, was not as comfortable as mine. Ginger was a ditz, but she was also the rock. She was one we came to for relationship advice. This was terrible. Last year, the positions had been reversed, and I was the sobbing one. That might have felt awful, but I didn't want Ginger to go through it. I would take it up for her if I could.

"We broke up!" She sobbed.

"No!" We all exclaimed. Not Balinger!

"I dumped him. He was so angry and upset about Phineas and Mishti, and you know why? He was jealous! He told me for years he had no interest in being with her! Years! If that's all it takes, maybe I should've gone and slept with one of the guys back in high school to get him or something!" Ginger cried and cried.

"Ginger, Ginger!" I hugged her. "She doesn't like Baljeet! She never liked Baljeet!"

"Who cares!" Ginger said adamantly. "I can't be with someone who doesn't love me with his whole heart and soul!"

I rolled my eyes. "Come now Ginger, that guy doesn't exist."

"Of course he does, Isabella." Ginger blinked at me. "You're dating him."

I stared back. Ha, Ferb. Oh Ferb. Maybe she was right, and I wasn't in the position to be giving anyone love advice. I was with Mr. Perfect after all. And Baljeet… Baljeet was being a jerk! Oh my god! I had threatened to kill him if he hurt Ginger… and now he had hurt Phineas as well! But, Baljeet was hurting too. Oh…

Ginger continued to sob. "I knew this was going to happen. I knew it the moment I saw her."

"You knew she was going to sleep with Phineas?" Katie asked.

"No, but…" Ginger bit at her lip.

"You do know Phineas is single." Holly stated flatly. "Mishti and Phineas didn't mean to do anything at all."

"Yet, here I am, with the one boy I've loved my entire life… gone." Ginger wept. "We were all happy! She's ruined everything!"

That same thought was in my mind. Mishti was the sweetest person, but god, she was clueless. Everyone was so pissed at each other. Did it ever cross her mind that maybe, just maybe, she shouldn't fuck Baljeet's best friend?

 _Did it ever cross your mind that maybe you shouldn't fuck Phineas' brother?_

Oh god. Mishti and I have way too much in common.

I sighed. Here I was, the only one somehow caught between all three. Four including Mishti. "What… what are we going to do?" I whispered to Gretchen.

"Maybe we should talk to Mishti." She said quietly. Maybe we should.

* * *

We had oh so subtly invited Mishti over to our girls' night, making sure Phineas, Baljeet, and the rest of the gang had no clue what we were doing. As for Ginger… we checked her calendar. She was having dinner at Stacy's tonight. No doubt they were bashing Baljeet and Mishti together. I wish I had a sister.

"I don't know what you're planning on accomplishing, Isabella." Adyson remarked.

"I don't know." I said. I had no idea. Well, I knew what I wanted to happen. I wanted Phineas and Baljeet to make-up. I wanted Ginger and Baljeet to get back together. And… I kind of wanted Phineas and Mishti to get together. Descending order for realism, I know. "Oh… let's just find out what's going on in her head right now." I said. I just then heard knocking at my door. "It has to be her!" I got up and opened the door.

"Hi Isabella!" Mishti said sweetly.

"Hi Mishti." I said.

"Hi Mishti!" The girls all chimed.

Holly sighed. "I love your clothes."

Mishti was wearing a sparkly pink and black dress… while we were all wearing our typical sweats or jeans. I don't think I've ever seen Mishti in a pair of pants. Although… I've seen her in just her lingerie. Yeesh.

"Thanks." Mishti giggled. "So… what do you girls normally do on these 'girls' nights'?"

"Oh… um… we just… hang out. Talk." I said awkwardly.

"Neat." She sat down happily with the girls.

"Do you want something?" I asked. "I made coffee."

"That sounds lovely, Isabella." She said.

I knew what everyone really wanted to talk about, but we didn't have the guts to bring it up. I gently handed her a cup. "So… how have you been liking the trip?"

"Oh, I LOVE America!" She gushed. "I would stay here forever if I could! I'm so jealous of Baljeet."

"How can anyone be jealous of Baljeet?" Milly said out loud. The girls, including Mishti, started giggling.

"Stop." I defended. "That's mean."

"As you can see, Mishti… Isabella is the mother bird of the group." Holly said. "She doesn't let anything bad happen to any of us."

"I can tell." Mishti brushed some hair back.

"Despite the fact that she's a mess." Adyson said.

I glared at her. "I'm no worse than you."

Adyson laughed. "Nah… she's Mrs. Perfect. She's her Daddy's angel. Little Miss Cutie Pie. Perfect grades. Perfect looks. Perfect job. Perfect boyfriend. Uggh. So now, she keeps trying to push that perfection on the rest of us. Because we are so screwed up."

Gretchen laughed. "I would say that isn't true, but the other day I walked out of my house with no purse or jacket and almost didn't notice."

"You think that's bad?" Milly laughed. "I poured water instead of milk into my cereal by mistake on Friday!"

"I got kicked in the face the last time I had sex!" Katie said.

"Bitch… you have no filter." Adyson said.

Mishti clearly must think we're insane by now, although she was smiling and laughing along. I smiled. "Hey… if I'm the Mama… Ferb's the Daddy."

"Yeah." They nodded.

"The other boys are too immature." Gretchen said.

"And you two seem to be the perfect pair." Mishti commented.

"Well, they weren't always…" Milly chuckled. I glared at her. "We figured he would stay with Vanessa. And, maybe, um… Isabella and…" We were treading on the thin ice again.

"Oh, Mr. Fletcher is very cordial with his ex-girlfriends." Mishti said.

"Yup. That's Ferb." Gretchen said. "Are you still friends with any of your boyfriends, Mishti?"

"Me? Well I, I don't think I've really… HAD one." She said.

"Wait, so you've never had a boyfriend?" We all gaped at her.

"No." Mishti looked up from her coffee. "What? Is that weird?"

"Yeah! I mean… look at you!" Katie exclaimed.

Mishti giggled. "Well, it's not so important to me. I really just hang out with guys… even more than I do girls. This, right here, is a rarity."

"Ok, so what about…?" Holly trailed off.

"What about sex?" Adyson said bluntly. I think she's still a little bitter about Mishti getting Phineas first.

Mishti giggled again. "Well, honestly, that mostly happens by accident. I only go in with the intent to hang out and one thing leads to another…"

"Really?" I said. So the girl who doesn't care about romance ends up with the guy who is oblivious to romance… hmm… "Mishti, so, um, you and… Phineas…?"

All the girls leaned forward with interest. "Me and Phineas?" She tilted her head and blinked slowly a few times. Oh god, she's as oblivious as him! "I don't really have any intentions to be with anybody. Probably not until my parents want me to get married. But Phineas…" She giggled again. "Phineas is a sweet boy."

"Yeah… so how was…" Adyson noticed me glaring at her like a monster and shut up.

"Yes. I think we can be great friends." Mishti said sweetly.

"But you fucked him. OW!" Katie screamed, as I kicked her. "Stop doing that!" Katie cried.

"Would you girls…" I whispered.

"Oh, that doesn't matter." Mishti said nonchalantly. Well, shoot. How many of her friends has she fucked? Maybe Ginger is right to be worried.

Milly started laughing. "Maybe you and Phineas should be friends-with-benefits!"

All the girls except for Mishti and me burst out laughing. I glared around at them, while Mishti still had her sweet smile.

"Friends-with-benefits? What's that?" Mishti asked.

"Well, umm…" Katie was still giggling. "You and one of your guy friends get to sleep together, without having to do anything else, no dates, or romance. He doesn't even have to be your friend really."

"You Americans." Mishti said, lightly chuckling, although, honestly, it sounds a little like she does that already, to an extent.

"Hey, it worked out for Isabella!" Adyson stated.

"ADDY!" I cried, blushing.

Mishti continued to giggle. "Isabella, you did this? May I ask with whom?" She gasped. "Oh my… was it Phineas?"

"No…" Holly rolled her eyes. "It was Ferb."

Mishti turned her head to me, smiling. "But he's your boyfriend!"

"He wasn't then…" Adyson laughed. "They're such idiots! They broke all the rules! They went out on dates, they spent the nights with each other, they made each other dinner, they had pet names… and they still didn't realize they were pretty much a couple already."

I blushed. Mishti grasped my hand. "That is soooo sweet, Isabella."

"Heck, they've always pretty much been a couple, and we're the idiots for pairing him off with Vanessa." Adyson continued. "Gretchen was the only one who wasn't surprised, but the only one who figured it out from the get-go was… Ginger." She finished uncomfortably.

"Ginger… where's Ginger?" Mishti asked.

"She's busy." I said quickly.

Oh Mishti. All she wanted was to be friends. With Baljeet… who had feelings for her. With Phineas… who she slept with. With Ginger… who hated her. And with all the rest of us… who were really just treating her like a piece of gossip.

The door to my apartment very suddenly opened. "Hey, Isa – girls." Phineas said awkwardly. They erupted into quiet giggles and he blushed a little. He wasn't quite as mortified as he had been before, but still, I think the poor boy had been through enough. He and Baljeet were still in this stupid silent feud.

"Hey, Phineas," I stood up and walked over to him, away from the giggling girls. "What did you need?"

"I just… Mishti's here?" He suddenly noticed.

"Yeah." I made a little face.

"Um… ok… well, I wanted to… do you normally invite Mishti over?"

Ooo, maybe I should have told him, it did seem a little awkward. He couldn't seem to stop staring at her. Ha, except he wasn't so much staring at Mishti as he was staring at Mishti's… body.

"Phineas?"

"…Huh?"

What was wrong with him? God, all men were the same. The minute Mishti Patel had stepped off that plane, every boy in town, including my boyfriend, had been drooling over her. But, Phineas hadn't. Until now. Until… he slept with her. Oh shit, she had done it. She had done the impossible. She had not only gotten him into bed with her, but she had officially flipped the switch on. Because… Phineas wanted Mishti now too. Wow, maybe I could actually set them up now.

I grinned. "Phineas, do you like…"

Adyson looked at the clock. "Guys, we should probably get out of here."

"Bye Isabella!"

"Bye Izzy!"

"Bye Iz."

The girls chimed together as they all started get up to leave. They continued their walk out and into the elevator. The last one to leave my apartment was Mishti.

She turned to me. "Isabella, thank you for inviting me to your girls' night."

"It's no big." We did kind of only had this girls' night to hang out with her in the first place. She could have come to the last one except… that would have been super awkward. Tackling Ginger and Mishti would have to come last. "Bye!"

"Bye!" She smiled. "Oh and," And she seductively waved her long fingers with long pink nails. "Bye Phineas."

"Ha… bye." He said weakly. Again, he still stared, even after she left.

"Phineas," I smirked. "Are you maybe… attracted to Mishti?"

"What? I- what? Mishti?" He stared at me, as clueless as always. "Why would you say that? She's one of my friends. Just a friend."

"Yes." I said. "But… you also slept with her."

"I thought we were going to stop bringing that up." He whined.

"Ok." I laughed.

"It was… an unfortunate incident." He remarked. "I don't see what that has to do with anything."

"Phineas!" I groaned. "Face it, at this point, you're just lying to me and yourself. I saw the way you were staring at her. Ha, I don't know what happened that night, but I'm pretty sure you'd really like a lot more of those incidents to go down." I laughed again.

"No!" He cried. "No! It was all totally an accident!"

"Ok, fine… so, you just want to go down on her."

"Isabella!" He exclaimed, eyes wide. "I… I'm going home."

"What did you come here for?" I called. "Mishti?" He groaned as he left, and I burst into giggles.


	17. Group Fight

It was hard to have fun anymore with this goddamn feud going on. I can't believe Baljeet and Ginger broke up. I really can't. They were the forever couple. We had been waiting and waiting for him to ask her out, and then when he did, they just clicked so perfectly. I just can't believe this happened. He was about to tell her he loved her, and suddenly he's going for another girl.

 _Kind of like you were, right Ferb? You kissed Vanessa when you knew you loved Isabella._

I'm a horrible person.

"Hey Ferb, what's wrong with you?" Phineas stared at me.

I gave him a pointed look. "Ginger broke up with Baljeet."

"WHAT?" He exclaimed. "I mean, I don't care." He crossed his arms. Nice recovery. "Baljeet was horrible to her. She should break up with him." I shrugged. It was true. Ginger was most certainly not at fault here. "Um… Isabella isn't coming over today, is she?"

"She's over here every day." I said.

"I was never here!" He exclaimed, grabbing his coat and running out. "YOU SAW NOTHING." That was odd. Odder than normal, if that sentence could make sense.

It took less than fifteen minutes for her to show up after that. "Hey baby." She said, walking in. I waved.

She sighed. "What a week, man. I'm depressed. Too early for alcohol, I assume. Ginger's miserable. Ginger and Baljeet hate each other. Phineas and Baljeet hate each other. And I'm pretty sure Ginger hates Phineas too."

"Um," I said. "Do you know why he would be avoiding YOU?"

"ME?" She made a face. "Um… We had Mishti over." I nodded. Right. He's avoiding Mishti. If he thinks she's hanging out with her, then that makes sense. "And," She continued. "I might have implied he likes her." I facepalmed. "Oh come on, Ferb. They'd be cute!"

"They're what started this mess in the first place! You've certainly given up on the other matches quickly."

"But Ferb!" Isabella insisted. "This time is different! This is not me just matchmaking anymore, ok! He really wants her!"

I rolled my eyes. "Isabella, Phineas has never really wanted anyone." I resisted the urge to add "even you". That would really upset her and just be mean, even it did prove my point.

"No, Ferb, that's not what I meant." She turned to me. "He… WANTS… her." She emphasized. "He… _really_ … WANTS her."

"What?" I think my eyes bulged a little.

"Dude, I think she was the straw that broke the camel's back." Isabella declared. "I can't blame him. Have you seen the way he looks at her?"

"No…" I said. "Not particularly."

"Ferb! Ferb, how can you not see it?" Isabella shook me. "Ok, I'll invite her and some of the gang over, and we'll just watch a movie or something, and just get him to hang out too. Watch him. You'll see it."

"He's desperately avoiding her, and now you." I said.

"There's no way Phineas can avoid me forever." She stated. "Group movie night. It's happening."

* * *

"I don't want to go." He sighed. "I'm going to work on the hyper-transporter."

"Just come with me." I said. "It's Isabella's house. It's an animated movie. It's your best friends. We aren't scary."

"No, I think you guys have become very scary actually. This kind of stuff never happened in the backyard."

Yes. It would have been very disturbing if we had gotten drunk and slept with each other in the backyard. Although I'm sure certain people, certain girls, with crushes on certain nerds, would have loved to in high school. I grabbed his arm.

"HELP. I'M BEING KIDNAPPED. CALL THE POLICE." He called loudly to no one.

I knocked on the door and Isabella opened it. "Hi boys."

"HELP! SOMEONE!"

"Drama queen." Isabella rolled her eyes. "Come on, you're late."

"Is Baljeet here?" He questioned. "Huh? HUH?"

"No." She sighed. "Just the girls and Buford. Look who's here, guys."

Buford, on the recliner, grunted in our direction. Some of the girls waved.

"Finally, guy candy." Adyson joked, on her stomach on the ground, swinging her legs up and down.

"Fuck you, Sweetwater." Buford exclaimed, getting up and going to the kitchen.

"Aw, Byoof, I was joking." She called.

"Hello, Phineas and Ferb." Mishti said sweetly, with long dangly earrings today.

"Get ready to kill me again." He whispered to me. "Hey Mishti." He said weakly.

"So, Miss Ginger isn't coming?" She asked.

"Uh, no." Isabella answered.

"Baljeet already told me he wasn't. Idiot." She rolled her eyes.

"Friend-zoned." Holly whispered.

"Ok, let's just watch this thing." Isabella declared.

As the movie got up and going, I wasn't really paying attention. Isabella was sitting on my lap, like always, on her comfy recliner, but her focus seemed to be putting my eyes on no one but Phineas. The movie had to be funny, because the girls were laughing at almost every other word. Most were all squished together on the couch, a fairly tight fit, although they seemed fine: Gretchen, Holly, Katie, Milly, and Mishti. Adyson was still lying on her spot on the ground, with a cushion, and Buford had joined her. They were whispering obnoxiously on and off throughout the film to each other. Finally, Phineas was leaning against the edge of the couch. There were a parade of girls' legs going up and down, and getting on and off that thing, but Phineas was, well, Phineas. Except…

Mishti was wearing a typical sexy Mishti outfit: a tight but not too short skirt, which happened to show a lot of her long toned smooth brown legs. And nobody, except for me, and I guess Isabella, seemed to notice Phineas' eyes were constantly flitting to those legs that went on forever, and I had to really peer at him, but I saw what was in those eyes. I get it in my eyes all the time, especially what with this stupid girl on my lap now. _Desire_.

Oh my god.

And, I don't think he was oblivious to it either. Because all the time he wasn't spending watching Mishti, he was making tiny tortured little faces to himself, as if admonishing himself like a little schoolboy afraid of going to Hell for committing the sin of Lust. Criminy, Isabella was right. She was right that even if his mind didn't, after the wedding, Phineas' body certainly wanted Mishti. And the guys were right that… man, Phin needs to get laid more.

"You're… you're right." I whispered to her. "I mean, I've never seen him look like that. He looks… hungry."

"I know!" She whispered. "He wants her bad."

"But he's… Phineas." I stared at him again. It looked like he had given up on the movie entirely. He was staring at his hands.

"Phineas." Mishti poked him gently with her foot. "Phineas," She whispered, leaning down to him. "You've made a cartoon before, haven't you?"

He stared at her leg and shook his head. "I… I… I… yeah, yeah."

How had I not noticed this? I thought he was avoiding her because he was embarrassed and upset, and more importantly, because Baljeet had told him to. But, no, he was avoiding her because he was craving her, and it was scaring the crap out of him. This is probably what happens when you've never had a real crush or ever really been… hot… for someone. I had been hanging out with Isabella and Vanessa for years before I was with them, and the same went for the rest of the gang and their crushes. I can't imagine being scared of them. Of course… there was that time during which Isabella decided to start wearing all those tiny clothes and "seduce" me. And… Mishti always looked like a temptress. Ok, he was right, girls could be a little scary.

"We made ourselves into cartoons."

"That's so cool." She fluttered her eyelashes. "Oh, you can do anything."

"I have to go the bathroom!" He exclaimed, and ran out of the room.

"And… someone's pants have got to be tighter." Isabella declared.

"Ew. Ew." I whispered.

"Oh come on, Ferb. He clearly likes her. She thinks he's sweet. They're both smart and fun. Dude, they've gotten into bed with each other before."

"Bella, you do whatever you want. But, honestly… Phineas and Mishti? And, I said already, they're the root of the problem."

"Fine. I won't do anything. Yet." She whispered, as the credits rolled.

"That movie was cute." Gretchen declared.

"I was falling asleep." Adyson said.

"No you weren't!" Milly complained. "You and Buford kept making adult jokes."

They both snickered. "Kay, bitches. And Ferb. I'm out. Peace." Buford said, as he exited.

"So, are you gonna kick us out, Isabella?" Holly asked.

"Yeah… do you want to 'play' with Ferb now?" Adyson asked.

"ADDY!" Isabella exclaimed.

The girls all giggled. "How come you never get embarrassed, Ferb?" Katie asked. I shrugged. The Isabella and Ferb jokes had become a staple by now. Unless they come up with something new, I didn't care. "Phineas is so much easier." She giggled. "He gets all red and shy."

"Oh, you aren't very nice." Mishti commented. "What do you tease him about?" We all gave her looks. This had to be the most oblivious girl on the planet. By god, Phineas might as well have slept with himself. "Where is Phineas?" She tilted her head.

"Hey Phineas!" Isabella called. "Are you still hiding in my bathroom?" The girls all started laughing.

"No." We heard softly. He came walking into the living room again, slightly pink. "I wasn't hiding." Isabella rolled her eyes. "Can I leave NOW?"

"Yeah. Let's go, 'bitches'." Adyson said, standing up. They all started exiting the door in a line.

"Oh, Phineas Flynn," Mishti playfully pouted. "You ended the party."

"I– "

"Bye Isabella!" She called, as they all left.

"She was flirting with you!" Isabella declared.

"Isabella, stop it!" He exclaimed. "What is wrong with you?"

"There are a plethora of things wrong with her." I remarked.

"That's it." Isabella declared. "You two are banished. Out."

I sighed as I opened the door to our apartment and entered.

"Ohh… Mish-ti!" Phineas moaned, collapsing back onto our couch. "This girl will be the death of me. You know, Ferb," He sat up. "I always pictured myself age, like 104, with a long gray beard, in a rocking chair, maybe with you right next to me, under another huge tree just like the one we grew up with, with a nice sunset… when I finally close my eyes for the final sleep. Either that or the Mayan calendar prediction finally comes true and the world ends." He shook his head. "But now I know… Mishti is going to kill me."

I rolled my eyes. I wasn't sure which one of those fantasies was most predictably Phineas. I patted his shoulder.

"Yeah, I know you're trying to be comforting bro, but… what the heck is going on? Baljeet hates my guts. Everyone is laughing at me. And Isabella is trying to set me up with Mishti? Mishti? That little girl I dumped a tub of rose petals on when we were like ten years old? What?" Let's ignore the fact that you looked like you want to eat her alive. "Everyone knows this wasn't supposed to happen, ok? I was against it, but really, it should have been Baljeet with her that night. I mean, that's what we all thought. The pools always come true at some point. Otherwise, I wouldn't have gotten that chunk of change last year."

"What?" I asked.

"Oh… um… crap." Phineas said. "Man, I really can't keep a secret, can I?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"I… um… so, you know how the gang kind of likes to… bet… on who's going to get together?" He said. I nodded. "Well, ha… um… there used to be a 'Ferbella' pool."

"What?" I exclaimed again. "You guys were betting to see if Isabella and I were going to get together? Did this start after you found out about the friend-with-benefits?"

"Ha… no."

"What?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"It was kind of going on for… years." The gang had been betting for YEARS whether I would end up with Isabella? Before I slept with her? Before she got over Phineas?

"Who on Earth thought I would end up with Isabella?" I asked. "You were all so shocked."

"Well, there was a lot of flip-floppers throughout the years, you know between Gretchen and Sandra and Vanessa … and of course, it shot up towards the end, but there was always one person who thought you would end up with Isabella… me." He said. "And that's why I won. I mean, where else do you think I got that money to breed those teacup rhinos?"

"But you were also so surprised."

"No, I was surprised you had been sleeping with her. I was surprised you had been keeping this from me. ALL of you. But, I mean, I wasn't surprised you were in love with her, remember?"

Yeah, he was right. So, Phineas, of all people, had called us from the start. And people call him oblivious.

* * *

"Bella," I called. "Come on!"

So, new plan. I'm not sure what plan we were on… but, the gang was going out to dinner and drinks. Casually, you know… we were just hoping to rebuild some bridges. If the "select four" did come, well, ok then. Of course, Isabella was taking a million years to get ready. Females.

"Ok, ok…" She hurried out of the bathroom in just a towel. "What should I wear?"

"Does it matter?" I shrugged.

"Um, it always matters." She declared. "I mean, should I wear pink, like always? A dress? A skirt? Jeans? Hello?"

"You are so irritating." I stated. "We're late."

"Ok… mmm… I'll start changing now." She started opening her towel.

"Oh," I groaned. "We don't have time for…" Oh, she was totally naked. _Self-control, Ferb._ "Come on, Isabella."

"Oh, humor me, baby." She giggled.

I ran my fingers through her hair and very gently traced one nipple. "As soon as we get back. The second I get back, by God."

"You're a good boy." She smiled. "Let's go fix the shitstorm." She declared, as she pulled on some panties and a black skirt with them.

"I think we do have a problem." I declared, as she pulled on her top.

"Yay." She said sarcastically.

"Should I spout a nymphomaniac fact?" I asked.

"Yeah, I kind of do miss when you used to end the afternoon with random facts." She giggled.

"The amount of sexual desire a woman feels is widely thought to relate to her head size."

"I fucking hate you." She hissed, grabbing me by my shirt and dragging me out.

Going out to dinner with a huge group of people is actually fun. We decided to sit outside, and the chairs had cushioned bottoms too. Paper lanterns were hanging around a few feet above our heads. It was nice. The girls were gabbing and all looked pretty. Even Phineas seemed to be having fun. Then again, Ginger, Baljeet, and Mishti weren't here yet.

"Oh my god, guess what happened to me today!" Holly exclaimed. "My new straightener was battery powered, it came with free batteries, and I guess it got turned on somehow, and like, it melted all the plastic!"

Everyone started laughing. "Did it survive?" Gretchen asked.

"Yes, thank god!" She said. "Oh, I am so jealous of all you girls with the silky hair."

"Me too." Isabella said.

"No, I love your hair." I said softly to her.

"Mr. Perfect, knock it off." Adyson laughed.

"Ferb, stop making us look bad!" Kyle exclaimed.

"I need a boyfriend again." Adyson frowned. I'm guessing she was done with Phineas? Adyson was actually a sweet girl. Oh, she was a bad girl. Obnoxious, foolhardy, sarcastic, promiscuous, scary, and a whole lot more, but she was a good person. She didn't want to go after him while he seemed so traumatized, she didn't want to mess up the group any more, but most of all… she didn't seem to want to touch "Mishti's man", even though she had just met the girl. Wow, we guys are SO much worse than the girls. I slept with Phineas' girl, he slept with Baljeet's girl, Baljeet liked another girl while dating Ginger…

"Who was your last boyfriend?" Gretchen asked.

"Toby." She groaned. "That was like a whole year ago."

"Ew. I hated him." Isabella said.

"He was a piece of shit." Buford stated.

We all nodded. Toby was the typical "bad boy" Adyson went for. He had fake black hair, face piercings, a crappy band, and a nasty demeanor. Adyson was with him all the time, so occasionally he had hung out with us, and none of us had liked him. He drunk, and I think he smoked, and I hated that he knew so much about us, because Adyson told him everything. You know, dating within our group could blow up into… well, this… but, we were also a lot happier and had a lot more fun dating in our group. Maybe that's why we made the pools in the first place.

"Oh, he wasn't so bad." Adyson sighed.

"No, actually, he was. He broke your heart, remember?" Buford said critically. "Piece of shit."

Just then, strolling out in all pink, as was typical for her, came Mishti. "Hi guys!"

"Hi Mishti!" Everyone said happily.

"What are you talking about?" She said sweetly.

"Nothing. My pathetic love life." Adyson said.

She giggled. "Oh Miss Adyson, you're so pretty. Why would you be having any love problems?"

"Because she always goes for losers." Isabella stated. "And Ferb." Everyone started laughing.

"Oh, there was never any way I was going to be with Ferb!" Adyson said. "He's dated Gretchen, and he's in love with Isabella. That's one-third of my best friends right there." I rolled my eyes as everyone started laughing more.

"Did you know Mishti's never had a boyfriend?" Katie said loudly.

"Katie!" Isabella admonished.

"You've never had a boyfriend?" Buford exclaimed.

"R-really?" Phineas asked, a little hesitantly.

"Whew, I don't feel like a loser now." Wynne said.

"YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND." Kyle said.

"Quiet, babe." Wynne said.

Mishti shrugged. "Yeah. I mean, who cares? I just like hanging out with my friends. I don't need a boyfriend. I don't have time for a boyfriend."

"Yeah." Isabella said. "Mishti doesn't really care about romance. In fact, she's pretty much OBLIVIOUS to it." She said, directed to Phineas. I glanced at him. He was staring at her again. She wasn't going to kill him… he was going to kill himself at this rate.

"What about Baljeet?" Django said blankly. We all gave him looks.

Isabella glared. "GINGER." She mouthed.

"Oh SHIT." He said quietly. He probably forgot they even broke up. He needs to pay attention. A lot of us need to pay more attention.

"What about Baljeet?" Mishti repeated. Oh, she's killing me here now too, she really is. I never thought there could be another soul as oblivious as my brother, but I guess there was.

"Would Baljeet have been your boyfriend?" Adyson asked outright.

Mishti burst out laughing. "You mean if he hadn't moved? Ooof. Let me guess, Phineas Flynn here is going to pull together some huge romantic spectacle?"

"NO!" He exclaimed.

"Well," She paid him no attention. "That's ridiculous. Baljeet seems very happy with Miss Ginger."

"Not anymore." Buford said. "They broke up."

"What?" She gasped. "Why?"

"Well…" Isabella shifted around. I don't know how we could tell her that Baljeet's girlfriend dumped him because of her. She would feel awful. I know Phineas did.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"I COULD ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION!"

We all cringed as though someone had thrown a bucket of icy water over all of us. We recognized who those voices were.

"THEY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS, GINGER. YOU WOULD NOT EVEN KNOW HALF OF THEM IF NOT FOR ME!"

"WHAT? YOU ARE KIDDING ME. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. SO ALL THOSE GIRLS LOVE YOU SO MUCH, RIGHT? AND BUFORD HAS NEVER KICKED YOUR ASS? AND THEY DON'T CONSTANTLY LAUGH AT YOU AND I WASN'T THE ONLY ONE TO DEFEND YOU?!"

"GIVE ME A BREAK! AS IF PEOPLE HAVE NEVER LAUGHED AT GINGER HIRANO BEFORE. STUPID BEE DANCER."

"GO HOME, YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH."

"NO WAY!"

They both stormed out to our table together. We all awkwardly stared at them. Isabella did say that they had been yelling at each other, but yikes. This group fight was getting out of hand.

"Look! Look Baljeet!" Ginger said furiously. "It's your best friends. It's your best friend, Phineas!"

Baljeet looked so angry right now. I don't think he could fight Ginger and Phineas at the same time. Phineas was also scowling.

"Baljeet, what is wrong with you?" Mishti reprimanded.

"Nothing." He seemed to snap out of it. "Nothing." He sat down next to Mishti. "Hi everyone." Ginger sat down too. The tone of the room slowly changed from loud and angry and awkward to… just awkward.

"You broke up?" She said wistfully.

"Well, not everybody is Mr. and Mrs. Perfect." Adyson remarked.

"Fuck you, Adyson." Ginger hissed.

Mishti sighed. "Why did this happen just as I came?" Again, we all exchanged glances. "What happened? Is this your fault, Baljeet? You're so dumb. Whose fault is it?" Mishti, Mishti, Mishti… I think she was WORSE than Phineas… who was, by the way, still having trouble keeping his eyes off of her.

"Baljeet is just a jerk." Ginger declared. "Actually, Mishti, actually, I'll tell you whose fault it is, you know besides Baljeet being an asshole…" The entire room almost covered their eyes, waiting for the bitch fight. "It was PHINEAS'!"

"Me?" He pointed at himself. "What did I-" Baljeet glared at him. "Oh, I… right." He sunk down in his seat.

"I'm leaving!" Ginger proclaimed, grabbing her purse and storming off.

"Phineas Flynn, what did you do to her?!" Mishti exclaimed.

"I… I…"

"You better stay away from Ginger." Baljeet admonished.

"Ok, what the heck is wrong with you?!" Phineas exploded. "You broke her heart and you're yelling at me?"

"Whoa whoa whoa…" Isabella cried. "Cool it."

"I told him!" Phineas cried hysterically. "I was the only one who told him from the beginning! The guys, they were basically encouraging him!"

"Do not talk to me, Phineas." Baljeet said. "And stay away from my girlf… my EX-girlfriend. I know how you can be."

"HOW I CAN- wait, what?!"

"AND, stay away from… 'You-know-who'." He subtly gestured towards Mishti.

"Lord Voldemort!" Katie guessed.

"I don't approve of this, Baljeet." Mishti said, obliviously. "You're being immature, both of you."

"Alright, Mishti. I am sorry. I am fine. I promise." Baljeet reassured her.

Dinner went off without a hitch after that… although it did still feel tense and awkward. Phineas wasn't angry at Baljeet, but with him. He wanted to be friends again, he wanted Baljeet to be back with Ginger, and he wanted everything to go back to normal. I'm pretty sure the entire gang wanted to start arguing and taking sides again, but we couldn't with Miss Mishti here. Initially, I do think I had been on Baljeet's side, to a point. Yes, Phineas was my brother and best friend, but as I had explained to Isabella before, I could see it from Baljeet's point-of-view. I was the first one to notice his feelings for Mishti, and he finally burst when she slept with another man… who happened to be his best friend. I know how that would make me feel, even if I was with Vanessa… I mean, Ginger. But, now… he was being, as Phineas put it, a jerk. Baljeet was very clearly still in love with Ginger, as their passionate, out-of-character fights indicated. It bothered him a lot that they had broken up. But, he was pulling a very misogynistic and possessive move by trying to "block" Ginger and Mishti from Phineas, as if he of all people would try and do something with them. And… if any other reason was necessary to take Phineas' side, then… I think maybe Isabella was right. Phineas liked Mishti. I had never seen my brother so attracted to a girl, and I didn't want a stupid fight ruining it for him.

"Stupid Baljeet!" Phineas exclaimed, as we walked back into our apartment.

"Phineas," Isabella sighed. "Stop fighting with him. I can't believe this is happening! Our group has never, ever, fought so much, EVER! I should have known something like romance would have caused this; too many of us are unlucky in love, but still! This never happened with any other couple! This never happened before!"

"Of course it happened before, Isabella!" Phineas suddenly cried loudly.

"What?" We both stared at him. "What are you talking about?" I asked.

"It happened before. With you two." He declared.

"What?!" Isabella said. "What do you mean?"

"Buford and Baljeet were ganging up on me. The girls were giggling over how 'hot' Ferb was. You two were locked in your rooms crying over each other, or you couldn't make eye contact with each other in the group. Everyone was fighting over whether and/or when Ferb and Isabella will just admit they love each other!"

Oh my god. We both stared. It had happened before. While we had both been so wrapped up in our own love story, and only rarely getting advice from friends, we hadn't realized it had been bothering them as much as well… "Balinger" was bothering us now. I felt so blind. There was so much I hadn't been paying attention to recently.

"Oh Phineas." Isabella whimpered.

"I don't like fighting." He said weakly.

"I know." She sighed. "I'm going to call Ginger." She kissed my cheek. "Bye."

We both sat down, exhausted on the couch. "Oh, Mishti will go back to India soon, anyway." He said weakly.

I stared at him again, and slowly raised an eyebrow. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I asked.

"It's NOTHING, FERB." He said, suddenly testy.

"O…K…" I said slowly.

"I mean… it's not like… I CARE… or anything…" He was really talking to himself. "Ha… it doesn't matter… what difference does it make, right? Right? Ohhh… God…"

"Phineas…" There was something bothering him. "Are you ok?"

"I…" He ran his hand down his face. He was actually starting to twitch a little, as if he was desperately fighting something inside, and losing. "I… I'm going to fix this, Ferb. Don't worry. I'm going to talk to Baljeet, and Ginger, and… Mishti, and… I… I have to get out of here!" He grabbed his coat and almost ran out of the apartment. "Don't worry! I'll fix it!"


	18. Tangled

I'm wondering if maybe it was easier to be Ginger at this point. To scream "I HATE EVERYTHING!" at the wall and bitch to your sister and burn pictures of your ex. Ok, that literally sounds like the worst thing ever. But, she was acting like a bitch and I totally did not care and was giving her a total pass. Ginger's heart was absolutely broken. And I think in the worst way too. If Baljeet was with Mishti, that would at least be a legit excuse, but I don't know what the fuck kind of situation we were in right now. It really made me appreciate the fact that I had my boyfriend.

I fluttered my eyes open and sat up. I glanced next to me. It was rare that I would wake up before Ferb. We didn't even have sex last night or anything. I guess I was too antsy to sleep. He looked so peaceful. Don't call me selfish but… thank goodness he didn't snore, ha. I'd keep him even if he did. He was breathing very softly. I remembered the nonsense I had thought about before… if we ever got married. I ran my nails gently through his hair. Oh, was I becoming one of _those_ girls? I probably always had been, with Phineas. But Phineas and Isabella were a planned romance… Ferb and Isabella were not. He was so cute. We can't get in big fights… there can't be other girls or guys… what Phineas said, this can't happen again.

Ferb slowly lifted his head and blinked a couple times. "Hi baby." I said softly. He rolled a little and sat up. I gave him a quick kiss.

"Huh." He said, rubbing his eyes. "You're awake?"

"Couldn't sleep." I replied.

"Why?" He asked.

"I dunno."

"Oh Mother Hen," He sighed. "You need to worry less about everyone else. It isn't good for you. And it leads to you overstepping your boundaries and meddling in their lives."

"Ferb." I pouted. I rested my head back on his chest. "Hmm, we probably need to get up, yeah?"

"Yes." He replied, but we still didn't budge.

"Did we like, really mess up the group like this, Ferb?" I asked.

"I don't know."

Initially, we had been lying to everyone. Then, the friends-with-benefits concept had made us become a total joke. Then… we broke up. Like this. But, it wasn't angry. It was depressing. We would fake laugh and not make eye contact when in the group. I would go home and absolutely fall apart. Ferb wouldn't talk to anyone, not even Phineas. And the gang was giving me advice the whole time… they were trying to fix it, like I was now. God, it was such a mess.

"But, it all worked out, baby." I said. "I love you."

He shook his head. "Love isn't the problem, Isabella. Baljeet and Ginger very clearly love each other. Maybe… you don't always get to be with the person you're in love with."

I sighed and swung my legs over the sides of the bed. "Alright. Let's change."

"Phineas said he would 'fix everything' last night." Ferb said.

"Really?"

Phineas had a knack for fixing the whole world, you know. He was the one who smacked some sense into me and brought me back to Ferb, fixing I guess, the first group fight. I know he was angry with Baljeet, but if he really went to apologize, then, maybe it would all work out. Or, he might have gone to tell Ginger about Baljeet's confession that he loved her. Or… I'm not sure what he was going to tell Mishti. A Phineas plan might be crazy, but it generally worked out great for everyone.

"Let's go over there then!" We strode over to the other apartment and walked right in. "Phineas, it's us!" I called. "I thought you said he'd be home?" I turned to Ferb.

He shrugged. "He's probably still asleep."

"It's almost twelve." I gaped. "It's PHINEAS. Phineas slept till twelve? What time did he get home?"

"I don't know." I swear I almost hit him. "Something was wrong with him." He continued. "He was all testy and irritated and ran out of here after you left and never came back. But his same coat and shoes are right there, I know he's here."

"Well, we need to check on him!" I exclaimed. I marched to Phineas' room. The hallway was dark, but the door to his room was cracked open with a tiny sliver of light coming out, and… voices.

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed. "Oh my god!" We both frantically looked back and forth at each other.

"Mmm…" A female voice lightly giggled.

Ferb mouthed, "Who…"

"Who do you think?" I whispered loudly. "He said he was going to fix everything!" Ferb shrugged desperately. "Oh my god!" I turned back to the door. I HAD to know what was going on and what happened last night.

"No… No, I refuse to spy on him." Ferb stated.

"But…"

"No!"

"Oh, well, go make us brunch then, baby." I kissed him. He sighed, but walked away. I had to turn my attention back to the door. I know, I'm a horrible person. Phineas was laughing.

"No, no, Phineas, I'm ticklish." She protested. Yup. That was Mishti. "No… Phhhinn…" She purred in pleasure. Um, what was he doing? WHAT WAS HE DOING? She was still making purring noises.

"Umm… Is Baljeet going to quote unquote 'kick my ass'?"

I legitimately almost had to stuff my shirt into my mouth to keep from laughing at that. I mean, he said it in complete earnest. Mishti did start laughing a lot. She's a real giggler.

"Stop it!" Phineas exclaimed.

"I… ha, ha, Phineas, quit it… Phineas… mmm…" Mishti let out a long, erotic moan. Then, so did Phineas. OMG.

"Oh…" He sighed. "You look so pretty." He said sweetly. Aww. There was the undeniable sound of lips smacking. I knew because I had made that sound with Ferb many times before.

"Alright, _mera dil_." Mishti laughed. "I think it's time to go back to real life." She said.

"Just a few more minutes." Phineas whined.

"Just a few more minutes of what?"

"Of this…"

I gasped. Because I'm pretty sure I just heard Phineas Flynn GROWL. Mishti was giggling again. Stop spying on them, Isabella. I backed away as quietly as I could.

Back in the kitchen, my Ferb was actually making brunch. "I love you." I sighed.

"I appreciate that." He grinned.

"Ferb… Oh my god, Ferb." I covered my face. I couldn't believe what I had just heard. I was right, (like always). Phineas, stupid oblivious Phineas, had it bad for Mishti Patel. Not just sexually but emotionally too. I don't know which of those felt more implausible, but oh, listen to him! Listen to them! They were so cute! "Did he say anything yesterday, Ferb?" I whispered. "After I left?"

"I think it hit him that… she's going to go back to India." He said quietly.

"Oooh!" I gasped. I guess his desires were driving him crazy, and when he realized she wasn't going to be here that much longer, he lost it. "So, he…"

"Obviously he went to her and they ended up over here at some point while we were dead asleep over there." He stated. He glanced at me. "Do you remember that one night when I showed up at your place REALLY late after we accidentally saw each other in the club and-"

"Ferb!" I exclaimed. "Ferb, HE did THAT to her?"

"Well," He turned knowingly. "He was kind of acting like that."

"Oh, Ferb…" I pouted. "No! Ferb! Phineas is falling for her." He gave me a wise nod.

Right then, he walked out completely casually, and unaware of his surroundings, and I just couldn't help myself. "Phineas!" I crowed.

His hand went up to cover his eyes. He hadn't known we were home. "Shit." He said, almost silently. And I just exploded laughing. Ferb was more like a sputtering teapot, trying to keep the laughter in, but it was coming out anyway. We really are horrible people. Oh jeez, again, he was turning so red. Ha ha, we love it when Phineas swears, most of the time it means he's super embarrassed like now (Although he could be surprised, or… upset. That's not a good one.). He was in nothing but boxers this time. But, you know, I could see all the nail marks up and down his body, and bits of hot pink lipstick here and there. Wow, what was she doing with him? I mean, this was Phineas!

"Good morning!" Mishti again came strolling out like it was nothing, wearing what I presumed to be one of Phineas' T-shirts as a dress, and texting someone. And… what was he doing with her? Hot damn, did Phineas actually know his way around the bedroom or was Mishti just bringing something out in him that no one thought existed? Mishti's hair was always so perfect, now twice I had seen it so messed up I almost couldn't believe it. "What smells so good?"

"Ferb's making brunch." I said cautiously.

"Great. Can I have some, Mr. Fletcher?" She asked, in her cutesy way. He nodded. "Thank you." She giggled. I've gotten so used to that giggle. "I'm going to miss you all when I go back to India."

"I love India." Phineas blurted out, in his awkward Phineas-like way. Oh Phineas, no.

She turned back to him. "Really?"

"Yeah, yeah!" He enthusiastically nodded. "We went there to the Himalayas to Baljeet's uncle's. And I love Bollywood music. And Indian food. And… elephants." He finished lamely.

I could see she was practically rolling her eyes, but instead she said, "You're such a sweet boy, Phineas."

Ferb gestured to us. "Food's ready." I announced. I grabbed Phineas' arm. "Put some clothes on." I stated quietly.

"Heh. Right." He muttered. He turned to go back to his room.

"Actually, boys," Mishti yawned. "Can I shower?"

Ferb nodded. I did too. "All the towels are in that closet in front of the bathroom, and the soap and stuff should be in the shower. And if anything is too," I held up air quotes. "'Manly', I have this pink travel bag in one of the bottom drawers."

Phineas bit at his lip. "Uh, hey, Mishti…"

"Thank you, Isabella!" She called, as she walked down to the bathroom.

Again, Ferb and I at least had the decency to wait until we heard the door shut, then we started laughing again. This time, Ferb really was laughing, and I was howling like a hyena. "PHINEAS!" I gasped. "You weren't… You wanted to go in there with her, didn't you?"

"I… I…" He stammered. I swear, I was seconds away from dropping onto my knees. "Well, you guys do it all the time!" He declared, trying to defend himself.

"Yeah, but… we're us." I stated. I don't know if that sounded bad, or what, but everyone kind of knew Ferb and I were the "sex-crazed" ones.

Ferb walked behind me, put his arms around me, and rested his chin on my shoulder. "He probably would've dropped her on her head in there." He whispered. I snorted.

"Ferb!"

"So…" Ferb gave him a look. "This… is fixing everything?"

"I…" He made a face.

"You slept with Mishti." I said. "Your solution, the brilliant Phineas solution, to fix Baljeet's relationship and make him friends with you again… was to do the deed, AGAIN, with the girl who caused this mess in the first place."

"You weren't supposed to find out." He muttered.

"You're busted." Ferb chortled.

Phineas pointed a finger at him. "Look, I'm not doing anything, ok? I'm just-"

"She makes you horny and you felt the need to fuck her instead of telling her what all the problems are, you idiot!" I declared. He blushed violently. "You- you wanted to do her in the shower." Ferb and I burst out laughing again. It was just so ridiculous. I didn't want to make to make the poor boy cry, so I just said, "Put some clothes on, dude." He walked really quickly out of there, like he couldn't take any more of this.

"SEE!" I exclaimed, turning to Ferb. "Kyle and Wynne, Vanessa and Monty, Phineas and Mishti. I am the best at matchmaking."

"You didn't do anything!" He stated.

I ignored him. "So I guess he went to her hotel room, right? But he's Phineas, he wasn't just gonna pounce on her. So they were probably walking around, the building isn't that far from her hotel, and they must have kissed and… it's so romantic!" I squealed.

"Isabella…" Ferb said. "She doesn't exactly seem to be fawning all over him. Not even the second time."

"Well, they were being cutesy in bed together though." I said.

"Baljeet is going to kill them. And now, he's going to kill you if you take credit for this second night of debauchery." Ferb said flatly.

"No. Now we have to get Baljeet and Ginger back together."

"You drive me mad!" He exclaimed.

Just then, strolling back, and actually humming, came Mishti. She wasn't really wearing pajamas, but a grey dress that was more like home-clothes than a fabulous Mishti outfit. Almost as if, you know, she had just been hanging out… when a crazy boy decided to take her on a midnight joyride back to his place to make love to her. She ran her hands through her slightly damp hair and sat down at the table.

"Sooo…" I sat down next to her. "You and Phineas?"

She gave me a strange look, as if I had said something so stupid only like, a dead worm would ask it. "Yes, Isabella. Me and Phineas."

"Mishti!" I cried. "You two sort of implied it was a one-time thing."

"Well," She shrugged, digging her fork into her food. "I guess it wasn't."

I'm pretty sure my mouth was open. "You guess?"

What? I- What? She guessed? What the fuck does that mean? Ferb was right. It sounds like any one of the guys could have been the one in that bed with her that night and she wouldn't have cared either way. She wouldn't have cared if it were no one either. She took being the girl who didn't care about romance to a whole other level. Oh… and Phineas was falling for her?

* * *

I was still desperately trying to fix the group, and it was kind of working, honestly. No one was fighting each other over this as much; our attention spans were too small. And, umm… Phineas most certainly did not have a problem with Miss Mishti anymore. He seemed to enjoy it when she was with the group, rather than avoid her. The fight between Baljeet and Ginger and Phineas had sort of simmered down to… passive-aggressive.

"Are we really, like, drinking tea and coffee and eating cookies together like old ladies right now?" Buford asked. "Isabella, this is not why we come over to your house. Especially not the entire group at once."

"You know what would be fun?" I said loudly. "Let's pull out some old photos of all of us when we were little. I have a million albums; physical and virtual." Yeah. Let's remind Phineas and Baljeet they've literally been best friends since they were in goddamn elementary school!

"Yeah!" Everyone eagerly agreed, and soon we had set up a slide show on my TV full of pictures of the entire gang from all ages. Everyone scrambled to find a seat; it was hard when there was so many of us. I was snuggled on Ferb's lap on the edge of my couch.

"Maybe this will help." I whispered in his ear.

"It's baby Perry!" Holly squealed, as the first pic flashed on the screen.

"Look at Isabella's pigtails!" Kyle laughed. Ferb kissed my cheek.

"Um, why do you look like a trash can, Irving?" Katie laughed.

"That was my Space Adventure costume!" He laughed. "Oh, I was so amateur back then. My cosplay skills have vastly improved."

"These old pictures are so cute!" Mishti gushed, as various pictures continued to float by.

"I know!" Wynne declared. "Oh, I wish I had grown up with you guys!"

"Maybe I can find some on my computer of me and Baljeet." Mishti giggled.

"Before you turned into a girl?" Buford asked. "Is that possible?" We all started laughing.

"Oh, she was still beautiful." Baljeet said.

"Oh Baljeet." Mishti giggled.

"Yeah, I'm going home!" Ginger said angrily.

"Bye Ginger!" Mishti called sweetly, as she marched through the door.

"Yeah, yeah, see ya Patel." She grumbled.

"Mishti and I used to do absolutely everything together." He gave a very pointed look to Phineas. "What do you think, Mishti? I do not think _anyone_ can ever take my place." I glanced at Phineas. He looked normal… he almost looked normal. He was still smiling and part of the conversation, but by the way he was clutching his plastic spoon, it seemed to be uncomfortably bending in such a way that in a few more minutes, it might just break in half.

Mishti started giggling. "I know! Ha ha, I can't help feeling that if he had never moved to the US, my parents would have been setting me up with Baljeet!" Mishti said lightly.

"Well, you know what, he did move!" Phineas suddenly said aggressively. We all stared at him.

"Um… Phineas?" I questioned.

"What?" He looked up from stirring his tea.

"Nothing." I replied. Yeah. You see what I mean by passive-aggressive?

"I never noticed…" Adyson said. "But look, oh my god, ha, Ferb is totally giving Isabella cutesy eyes in all these pics!"

"What?" I laughed. We glanced and yeah, to an extent it was true. Ferb just looked at me a lot more fondly than anyone else. Awww. I love him.

"Goddamn it!" Buford exclaimed. "Why didn't we see this? I could've won the pool."

"The pool?" I exclaimed.

"Pool?" Mishti asked.

"Oh Mishti, we like to bet on who's going to end up with who." Milly commented.

"You guys bet I would end up with Ferb!?" I exclaimed. WHAT? "Who won?"

"Phineas." Holly said.

"Phineas." I repeated blankly. Phineas won. Phineas called Ferb and Isabella. My crush Phineas. My ex-boyfriend Phineas. The Phineas who literally every day was tortured by Ferb and Isabella.

"I would've bet on you two." Mishti said lightly.

"Yeah, but that's because you didn't know about Isabella and…" Katie shut up when she saw Phineas' foot prepare for that kick. "OH LOOK… there's a picture of me when I was a brunette, cool!" She said very quickly, turning our attention back to the TV.

"Ferb and Isabella are meant to be." Wynne sighed. "We all knew it, somewhere in the back of our heads. Ha, the rest of the pools… who knows?"

"Maybe we will start letting you in on them, Mishti." Buford snickered. "You aren't allowed to know about who you're matched with, but still, there are a lot. And a lot of cash."

"Sorry. I'm not sure if I want to catch a gambling problem from you guys." She giggled.

"Well, Mishti, regardless of the money, you can tell by the pools which pairs are made for each other, and which are just _mistakes_." Baljeet said pointedly.

"Hey, hey… you know what? One second!" Phineas said hostilely. "Let's look at all the pictures you've taken since you got here, Mishti. With all of us!" He started messing with the feed on the TV.

"Ok Phineas." She shrugged.

"Yeah, you forget how much fun stuff there is to do in Danville until you have to show it to someone from out of town." Gretchen said thoughtfully.

"Here!" The pictures appeared on screen. "I know!" He said, sitting down right next to Mishti and Baljeet. "Let's look at the WEDDING PICTURES. That'll be FUN, right BALJEET?" He said obnoxiously. "We all had FUN there." Baljeet scowled.

"Yeah!" Mishti said obliviously.

All of us were exchanging glances. Sweet oblivious Mishti's eyes were only on the screen, but honestly, for the rest of us, this was clearly starting to become some kind of male bravado contest.

"Do you want anything else, Mishti?" Phineas asked nicely.

"Oh no, no." She smiled.

"Well…"

"She said 'no', Phineas." Baljeet snapped.

"This is weird as hell." Buford muttered.

"I heard her, Baljeet." Phineas responded.

"Ok, then." He said resentfully.

"I know!" I whispered back. I glanced at Ferb. "This is so not like them." He shrugged. He knew it was weird too. Everyone was kind of watching it like a soap opera.

"Oh, you boys look so cute in this picture!" It was of Phineas, Ferb, Buford, and Baljeet together in their tuxedos. Times were simpler back then.

"We do?" Phineas asked, consistently clueless.

Mishti started giggling. "Oh Phineas."

"Do not pay attention to him, Mishti. He's a simple mind." Baljeet whispered to her. She started giggling more.

There was a loud snap. We suddenly glanced and… Phineas' spoon was officially dead. "Well, you know, Baljeet… at least I know how to use a hammer. And a wrench. And a BOX. But, that's just me."

"Yes. But apparently not a spoon." He retorted.

"This is SO bad." I whispered to Ferb and Buford.

"But kind of entertaining." Buford said.

"You know, despite turning into a girl, you are still the best at everything, Mishti. You are at least the best soccer player I know." Baljeet remarked.

"Soccer... SOCCER! Mishti, did I ever tell you about the time I – I mean, we – built a Football X-7 stadium?" Phineas asked excitedly.

"Football X-7? I thought that was impossible." She remarked.

"Uh-huh-huh impossible… you need to come live with me, I'll show you impossible. No, it was huge! Complete with the gravity-generating walls and a high tea room for guests! And the gang and I played my cousins, from England."

She started giggling. "From England? Oh dear."

"We almost lost too… Ferb had the emu curse. But guess who broke it?" Phineas smirked. "Baljeet… when he got hit in the–"

"PHINEAS!?" Baljeet gave him such a look… of anger, but also disbelief. The rest of the gang all started snickering. I rubbed my eyes. What had come over these two?

"Hey, Mishti…" Phineas leaned over and whispered something clearly… sexual… in her ear and she started giggling even more.

"Oh, stop it, _mera dil_." She giggled.

While she couldn't see, he mouthed "MERA DIL" to Baljeet. And as she still couldn't see, Baljeet gave him the finger. Buford fell out of the chair he was in, just from pure shock. What… the… fuck?!

"Well?" Phineas whispered to Mishti.

"Okay." She whispered back, in her sultry way. "Well, I think I'm going back." She said. She got up and went to the TV to get her camera.

"Back… off." Baljeet whispered loudly at Phineas.

"Shut… up." Phineas whispered back. "I thought you weren't talking to me."

"I am not, numskull."

"Good. Because I'm not talking to you either."

"Well," She turned and smiled sweetly. "Bye everybody."

"Bye Mishti." We said awkwardly.

"I really think you need me to walk you back, Mishti." Baljeet said.

She chuckled. "Actually Baljeet… um…"

Phineas stood up. "Actually Baljeet, no need to worry! I'M walking Mishti back to her hotel. Come on, Mishti!" He took her hand, and as they left, he actually turned his head around and stuck his tongue out at Baljeet, like they really were five years old, fighting over a favorite toy.

"Baljeet, that was uncalled for." I said.

He shook his head. "I am really not in the mood, Isabella." He said, as he got up and left, in a way eerily similar to Ginger.

"Ok… What the fuck was that?" Adyson said bluntly, the second he was gone.

"That was the most awkward thing I've ever seen." Gretchen said. "I feel like I need to bathe myself to get the awkward off."

"Oh no…" I said weakly. "They were already fighting… and now they both have feelings for her."

"And she has no idea!" Buford cried. "She's a hundred times worse than Phineas!"

"Umm, so are they…?" Wynne questioned. "Mishti and Phineas?"

"Oh Jesus Christ!" Kyle exclaimed. "Are they… they're going back to her place to do it!"

"What the hell!?" Buford cried. "Is that what he said to her?"

"How would we know?" Gretchen exclaimed.

"He's only digging himself deeper!" Holly declared.

"I never thought… Phineas isn't the jealous type!" I exclaimed. "He's freakin' baby Santa Claus incarnated!"

"I… I don't think he's jealous, per se, Isabella." Ferb commented.

"Huh? But then why is he acting so… he's… he's…" I covered my face. Oh shit. I knew why Phineas was acting like this. Nope. Phineas Flynn wasn't the jealous type. He was the _competitive_ type. Racecar driver. Football X-7 player. Coolest coaster _EVER._ FUCK. And… and, Baljeet… math champ, A+++, won every possible academic award…

"Guys!" I cried. "They're going to be at this forever! They're SO competitive. GOD." I scowled. "She's not a goddamn object! I'm – none of us are!"

"You?" Ferb raised his eyebrows.

I sighed. "I know you didn't 'compete' over me," I said quietly to him. "But I know all the guys sort of had crushes on me, and it's kind of… weird. And… listening to how they talk about Mishti? How they drool over her, their sick fantasies about her… and she's completely oblivious to it… it makes me irritated. And that's putting it nicely."

He smiled softly. "I think she'd appreciate that. Having someone look out for her. You're such a wonderful girl, Bella."

Yup. Such a wonderful girl. Then, why do I feel like I'm the reason Ginger's heart is broken, Baljeet's heart is broken, Phineas' heart is about to be broken, and they all hate each other? Things couldn't get more tangled.


	19. Superstrings

**Once again, people think I'm funny. Weird.**

* * *

String Theory is, in fact, a version of the Theory of Everything. However, it is flawed. We all know certain aspects are prone to… instability. But… have you ever heard of Superstring Theory? It implies all the particles have supersymmetrical partners… another out there… just like them. And maybe… that theory can be proven true.

"Hey baby." Isabella walked into our apartment, wearing a classic "little black dress". "Date night!" She said happily. I nodded.

"Yeah." Phineas said, swiveling around on a kitchen stool. "Date night."

"What's up with you?" She gave him a look.

"Nothing." He looked like he was going to fall off of it though. "So…" Phineas gulped a few times. "When are you guys going to be back tonight?" I glanced at him. He looked nervous. "Are you going both coming back or just Ferb or are you going to Isabella's…?"

My eyebrows rose. I had a feeling I knew what he was hoping on doing… or should I say, who.

"Why do you care?" Isabella asked quizzically.

"No reason!" He said awkwardly. I gave him a look. "Well… actually, me and some of the gang were just gonna hang out." His hand was scratching at his ear. Liar.

"You were?" She asked. "Why do you care about us then? I mean, if everyone is hanging out, we can be back early if you want."

"NO." He declared anxiously.

"What is the big deal?" Isabella asked obliviously. "Is it just the guys? What? I always hang out with you boys." I gave him another look, a look that said, "Stop lying to our faces".

"Um, no." He muttered. "It's, um, just… Mishti."

Isabella's mouth opened. "Phineas!" She exclaimed.

"Would you stop saying that every single time!?" He said grumpily. "Yes, yes, I'm hanging out with Mishti! Is that so wrong?"

I couldn't help but start laughing to myself. "What are you laughing about?" Isabella smiled at me.

"You do know what our Phinny's gotten himself into." I said. "They're friends-with-benefits."

"What?" He squinted at me. "No… no…"

"So, Mishti is a girl who is in the same social circle as you, and you two are obviously friends with one another… yet, you two have slept with each other multiple times and seem to have no plans to stop sleeping with each other… and these actions have had little to no impact on your friendship, positive or negative… umm, what does that sound like to you, Isabella?"

"Friends-with-benefits!" She crowed. "You're right!"

I was right. It started happening all the time. Like, ALL the time. A lot of the time, he would just run out, night or day, randomly calling, "Going to Mishti's." Then, the rest of the time… she was here. I guess I was finally feeling what Phineas had been feeling. Thank goodness nobody screamed or moaned quite like Isabella, so I couldn't hear anything from my bedroom, but if at any point they caught me by surprise, I would walk by and hear noises that sounded essentially like two horny kittens. Uggh… I guess I finally got the "normal" roommate I wanted.

"Hey Ferb," I noticed he was surveying the room. "Could you maybe… go to Isabella's tonight?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm being sexiled? We're not in college, you do have your own bedroom."

"Yeah, ha, we might not stay in there tonight." He literally slapped his hand over his mouth after saying that.

My mouth dropped open. Oh my GOD. So not only did he want to sleep with Mishti, he wanted to do… other things… as well. "What is going on with you?"

He wrung his hands together. "I… please don't tell Isabella this. Mishti and I are JUST FRIENDS. But even if we wanted to be more we… we can't be like you and Isabella, this can't end up like you and Isabella, we can't be 'a thing', we can't be 'together', this can't go anywhere, I mean, we live on different sides of the planet. But, she and I just… we like to… we still kind of want to… so um, we decided to make the most of the time we have now, you know, make the most of every day."

I covered my eyes. Fuuu-

"So… uh… we made a list!" He said brightly. "You know, of everything we've ever wanted to do, ever! You know, um… with each other."

I shook my head. "You're sick. You're a sick individual."

Just then, there was knocking at the door. "I got it!" Phineas said eagerly.

"Hi." Mishti strutted in, wearing those strappy sandals and flipping her hair. Wow, she really is gorgeous. Why is it that Phineas gets all the gorgeous girls; the Isabellas and Mishtis, without even trying? "Hmm… so…" She said suggestively, leaning back against the couch.

"Ha, yeah…" Phineas ran his hand through his hair nervously. "FERB."

Mishti turned to me. "How are you, Mr. Fletcher?"

"I'm fine." I said, narrowing my eyes at Phineas.

"Yeah, actually, he was just leaving." He narrowed his eyes back at me. "GET OUT." He hissed.

"You're sick." I mouthed again, as I walked out. I wrapped my knuckles on Isabella's door.

"Hey baby," She opened it. "What's up?"

"He's sick!" I declared.

"What?" She asked.

I decided not to tell Isabella about Phineas' "seize the day" ideas with Mishti, since he had asked me not to. "Someone is playing with someone else tonight."

"Wow." She said. "Be honest… Is something, wrong, with me?"

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Not even just me. Like, we all thought Phineas had no sex drive. But, maybe it was just the girls." She sighed. "Maybe it isn't me, or Adyson, or Gretchen, or any other pretty girl who has liked Phineas. It's… Mishti. I mean, is she even human? She can't be human." We both laughed a little.

"Oh, and she likes to walk around in his T-shirts with that crazy sex hair, and he gets mad if I see her." I grumbled.

"Uh-huh. It's not like you and the guys STARE at Mishti's hot bod or anything, Mr. 'Vanessa was pretty'." Isabella commented.

I shook my head. "You're never going to let that go, are you?"

"Nope!" She giggled.

"I guess I know how he felt before." I grumbled. "Urgh, it's never-ending."

"My poor baby." Isabella smiled. "Well… Phineas and Mishti don't get to have all the fun, huh?" She swiftly pulled her T-shirt over her head.

"Oh, what would I do without you, Isabella?" I replied.

"Mmmm…" She was tying up her hair as she strolled towards me. Somehow she looked so delicate and fragile, yet so intense and dangerous at the same time. No one was as attractive as Isabella. Despite Mishti's fancy negligee and lingerie sets, I would pick Isabella's cotton bras every time. "More whining, I guess."

"Shut up." I dragged my mouth down her neck, and pushed down a bra strap. She was kissing me almost instantly. Our tongues slid together frantically. "Sofa." She mumbled.

"Can't… make it to the bedroom?" I asked. I realized she was pushing me. We fell back onto the couch.

"No." She straddled me. "No! Gah. Too many clothes."

Yeah. We had enough layers that I could barely feel anything. She struggled to take off her leggings while I took off my jeans and shirt. She undid the bra and threw it to the ground. I grasped at her ponytail and pulled it back a little.

"Ohhh."

I sucked at her neck again, but then moved to her breasts. "I want you." I murmured.

"SHIT." She cried. "Ferb!" I slid everything down and pushed into her, taking her hard, her loud cries and moans filling the room, with her legs wrapped around me and her hands gripping at my hair. I felt the rush and Isabella screamed very loudly.

"Aren't… aren't you grateful that you have a girlfriend?" She gasped.

"I'm grateful for two things." I panted. "That my girlfriend is just… so good in bed."

"Mmm." She purred.

"And that Mishti Patel does not scream like her."

She hit me.

* * *

I guess Isabella and I finally understood what it was like for everybody last year, finding out about the whole "friends-with-benefits" thing, because once everybody learned about Mishti and Phineas, it was all anyone could talk about. The problem was no one wanted to be mean to Mishti, since she was so sweet and we just didn't know her well enough to insult her. And we definitely didn't want to talk about this with Baljeet. He would probably kill all of us. Phineas had clearly tried his best in the beginning to stay away from Mishti as he was told, but, he was just drawn to her like a magnet and he couldn't stop now. Plus, Isabella insisted we stay mum around Phineas since it had been embarrassing for her when they talked about us in front of us. So, somehow, the group had to get together excluding these three and without them knowing about it. Which was hard when Phineas lived in the same house. It would have been impossible except for the fact that… he was always in Mishti's hotel room now.

"Milly, girl, you are magic!" Holly laughed. "That's twice this has happened!"

"I didn't think she would do it!" Milly exclaimed, laughing too. "I mean, it was Phineas, I was joking!"

"It's so… unnatural." Adyson said.

"No, him never doing anyone was unnatural." Buford said. "Uggh, and she's soooo hot! How did she end up with Dinnerbell, of all people?"

"Well, Buford, it's quite clear at this point they are attracted to each other." I remarked.

"Yeah, otherwise they never would've hooked up at the wedding, no matter how drunk they were, much less over and over and over again." Katie said.

"Yeah, everyone in the world is attracted to Mishti. But… why Dinnerbell?"

"Well, how many other single guys are running around here?" Wynne remarked.

"ME." Buford stated.

"That's a good one." Adyson laughed. We all secretly exchanged glances. "Anyway, it was a one-night stand, remember? We asked her about it, she didn't even seem to give a crap about him."

"And Baljeet told him to stay the fuck away from her." Buford remarked.

"So how did this happen?" Gretchen asked.

"He couldn't do it!" Isabella said. "He tried really hard to stay away from her, but he broke."

"Face it, they have it really bad for each other. Like, worse than Ferb and Isabella!" Milly giggled.

"Oh, the king and queen have been toppled." Kyle declared.

"Yeah, Mr. and Mrs. Perfect have been beaten by the Odd Couple." Adyson said.

Isabella sighed. "I know none of you will believe me, and it seems weird, but Phineas and Mishti are a really good match for each other."

"Why? Because they're both completely oblivious to everything?" Ginger snapped. Ginger couldn't believe that somehow Mishti had ruined her relationship with Baljeet and still not realize she had done anything. Which she hadn't really. It was Baljeet's jealousy and Ginger's jealousy that had led to their breakup. Of course, none of us actually knew whether Baljeet really loved Mishti or not. Ginger also considered Phineas the catalyst in this all. I don't see how Phineas and Mishti being together had anything to do with Baljeet and Ginger really, but it did.

"No, she's just, she's his other half, guys!" Isabella said. "She might be sexiest girl we know and he's most innocent… but, guys, if you see them, they have a lot in common."

"Come on, Isabella!" Buford exclaimed.

"Well, what do we like about Phineas, girls? What's attractive about Phineas?" Isabella asked.

"He's cute." Adyson said.

"He's super smart. And fun. And exciting." Katie said.

"And innocent and sweet." Gretchen said.

"Who does that sound like?" Isabella asked.

"…Kind of like Mishti," Wynne said.

"Right!" Isabella said. "They're, they're both so… completely clueless. They're both so smart and sweet and great at everything! She's the one girl in the world who can match Phineas. And they have so much fun together."

"Yup. We know exactly what kind of fun they have." Kyle said. Everyone started laughing again.

We get teased when we're single. We get teased when we're together. We teased about whom we like. We get teased that we don't have "enough" sex. We get teased when we have "too much" sex. We're all horrible people.

"Bye guys!" Isabella called, as the last of the group trailed out, late at night. "Are you going home?" She asked me.

"I don't know." I responded. "I'm not sure if Phinegan's Wake is going on in there or not."

Isabella started giggling. "You can stay with me, baby."

"I always stay with you." I said.

"I know." She said. "Just about all the time now. You're lucky."

"Yeah, I am." I wrapped my arms around her.

"Ha, I mean, Phineas didn't have a girlfriend's house to hide in." She giggled. "We covered this. If you two lived alone, this wouldn't be a problem."

"Or," I gently brushed some hair out of her face. "If I lived with you."

"If… ha…" She glanced up and smiled. "If, we like, moved in together?" I smiled and shrugged. "I… I…"

"Let's go to sleep, love."

* * *

THEY WERE DRIVING ME CRAZY. How could Phineas have lived with Isabella and I for a whole year? I had to go apologize to him. Or, I would, if he didn't have his own fluffy pink vixen in his bed all the time now. How did he find… another Isabella? Every day it was… something.

I stormed into Phineas' room. "Bro," He looked up from his laptop. "What's wrong?"

I held it up for him. When you dangled it like that, it looked even lacier, and see-through. I tapped my foot.

"Oh my god!" He sat up quickly. "Where… where did you get that?"

"It was in my room." I growled. "Any explanation?"

"No?" He said weakly.

I glared. "What if ISABELLA had found it?" I hissed.

"I'm sorry! It's all her fault! Blame her, not me!" He exclaimed. "It was a dare! She dared me to, Ferb!"

Gross. I had to steam clean my room now. "When?"

"Um… remember that other night when we were all watching that horror movie…" He said sheepishly, trailing off.

What the FUCK? They had snuck off to have sex, in MY room, while the gang and I were hanging out right in the living room?

He could clearly tell I was disturbed by this. "Oh, come on. You've never done that?" Well, I did kind of do that, at my birthday party, with way more people, last year. I could blame Isabella for that one. "And, you've never kind of wanted to do it somewhere you definitely weren't supposed to? Like, ha, someone else's room?" He barely laughed to himself. "We're just…" He ran his hand though his hair. "Going down the list." He said quietly.

"Phineas… uh… what else is on this list of yours?" I asked, somewhat curiously, somewhat critically. Ha, "Ferb's bedroom" seemed like the lowest on the list. Anything from dominatrix to on a rollercoaster to upside down and blindfolded; I don't know, the list was so absurd, but it was exactly like something he would do.

"Oh my god!" He blushed bright red. "Nothing! Remember, you promised, you can't tell Isabella! Or anyone else!" He exclaimed. "And… give me that!" He said, snatching the bra from me. "You TELL NO ONE. Stop, stop giving me that look, Ferb!" He said angrily. "What? It's ok for you to have Isabella over here and do… stuff, but not me?"

"It's weird!" I blurted out.

"I know!" He exclaimed. "It's weird. It's weird. I don't wanna be with her. She doesn't wanna be with me. I ended up in that bed by accident. And… Baljeet is my friend, and I haven't given up on him yet. It's weird! I don't even know what I'm doing. I REALLY don't know what I'm doing." He finished, sounding totally confused. "But, I don't… I don't want… I don't want to… stop."

He blinked a few times. Clearly, Phineas was like a fish out of water right now. But a fish that had decided he wanted to learn how to breathe air and walk and fly, all in the same day.

* * *

"Isabella, the two of them are driving me mad." I said to her. "I realize now we were very inconsiderate to Phineas."

"Is she over here that much?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. "More than me?" I nodded. "What does this mean?" She asked. "Can I set them up?"

"Isabella," I said. "I don't think so. She's caused so much trouble. It's a strange couple. And they live on opposite sides of the world."

"Oh, but how can that stop true love?" She said dreamily, lying back on the couch.

"True love?" Phineas and Mishti are true love? Ha. Ok. Are any of us true love? If we were, we wouldn't keep breaking up or getting into all these love triangles. I will always love Isabella, and I will never fall out of love with Isabella. But I was still haunted by the query of whether we would last. I simply turned on the TV to an already roaring football match.

"Oh, Ferb, tonight's soccer night? Oh come on! Can't we do something more romantic?" Isabella whined.

"Darling, I'll take you to the stars and back… after this match." I said.

"Aahh! All boys are the same! Why do I even pretend you're different, Ferb?" Isabella declared.

"I thought you liked soccer."

"Well, yeah, I like soccer as much as the next girl…"

We heard a squeal and we both almost jumped out of our skins. "Oh my gosh!" Mishti came running out of Phineas' room. She was wearing a silky little nightgown, which may or may not have been more revealing than simply wearing his shirt. "There's a match on? Cool!"

"Maybe you don't like it as much as the next girl." I whispered.

"Oh my god, they, they were in there… doing it?" Isabella whispered weakly.

"Welcome to my life."

"Phineas, come on!" She jumped right on the couch next to me.

Phineas was also in pjs. Besides really bad sex hair, he seemed just as eager and innocent as ever. "Coming. Hey," He headed to the kitchen. "You guys want anything? I'm grabbing some chips."

"Yeah, that sounds good." Mishti called.

He grabbed the bag and plopped down next to her. They both looked so much like eager kids; I couldn't believe they had just been in bed with each other.

"Yeah… ok, Ferb… I'll stay." Isabella was staring at them like they were freaks. She wanted to sit on my lap, like always, so we both snuggled together.

The match was great and intense; we were practically yelling at the screen at points.

"What!" I exclaimed. "That was straight-out violence! Red card!"

"Nope." Mishti said confidently. "It'll be yellow."

"Yup." Phineas agreed. "There's no way that'll be red."

"Ugh." Isabella rolled her eyes.

"Yellow card!"

"What?" I cried.

Phineas and Mishti low-fived. "Told ya."

"Ferb," Isabella whispered to me. "What is wrong with them?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"They're… they're acting like… friends."

I glanced at them. Mishti was giggling. "Ow, Phineas! I told you I was ticklish!"

"Sorry! You should quit hogging the chips." He stated.

"What are they supposed to be acting like?" I asked.

"I don't know… when we were doing this, all I could think about was you! Everything just ended up being romantic."

"Isabella… I'm pretty sure we executed the 'friends-with-benefits' idea completely wrong. And I'm pretty sure Phineas and Mishti are doing it completely right. He's spent his entire life either oblivious to or avoiding love, romance, and even attraction. And it sounds like… Mishti kind of has too. They just like the sex."

"Ferb! They're sleeping together! They can't just… hang out! They have to feel… something!" Isabella sighed. "Maybe… maybe their love is different than ours."

"Bella…" I groaned quietly.

"No, really! I mean, between, you and I, we're the most romantic people in Danville, we created a big dramatic love story, we go out on big dates, we're the 'perfect couple', but Phineas and Mishti? You know, he doesn't get romance, she doesn't want romance. That right there," Isabella pointed to them. She was just offering him the bag of chips. "That is their kind of romantic moment."

"What do you think this is preempting?" Phineas asked her. "A Spanish soap opera?"

She giggled. "Oh, my mother watches the Indian soap operas all the time. They're horrendous." She took a piece of her hair and used it to make a mustache. She held up her fingers in a gun. "Ricardo, I'm sorry, but I must kill you to save my father." She said dramatically in a bad Spanish accent.

"If you kill me…" Phineas replied, matching her accent. "You WILL be killing your father. DUN DUN DUN!" They burst out laughing.

"Oh Feerrb." Isabella said cockily.

I sighed. Oh great… Mishti really was Phineas' perfect match.

* * *

 **Once again, the tables have turned on Ferb and Phineas just like they did with Isabella and Ginger. Who's the one with the FWB? And who's the one stuck in his brother's sex life? If you took AP English, you would definitely be able to find my themes and symbols and motifs and blah blah. Like always, please review, because this is the last chapter I had set in stone. Throw some suggestions out for our poor couples and see what happens next.**


	20. Sexcapades

**Ok guys, I'm actually really sad right now. I've been in the hospital all week. I'm really hoping to get out tomorrow. I hope you review, because despite that, I'm still trying to be funny. You know, in the Silver way...**

* * *

Holy shit… every time I found an apartment online that met my standards, it cost like ten thousand dollars a month. I needed somewhere that could not only host a million people like now, but actually let two people live there comfortably. Two people who could get into fights and not be squished together. I was paying literally nothing right now, and my building was like the nicest ever. I can't expect Phineas to kick anyone out for me to get a bigger apartment. I know we would have two paychecks, but thousands and thousands of dollars to pay, and who else knows what we would have to buy…

"Iz, what are you doing?" Kyle asked me critically. "You know Chandler will chafe you if you keep doing nonsense at work."

I looked up from my computer. "I'm not doing nonsense. I finished my other stuff."

"Great." Kyle said sarcastically. "Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, the perfect employee. Who can get away with doing shit because she's a good writer."

I rolled my eyes. The "Mrs. Perfect" jokes were irritating me now; I could only take so much sarcasm.

"But really, what are you doing?"

I sighed. "I… I'm looking at apartments."

He gaped. "You're looking at apartments? Why? You have a good set-up right now. The building is nice, and convenient, the guys charge everyone like nothing, and all your best friends live there. I'm super jealous, I wish Wynne would let me live there." He joked.

"See," I bit my lip. "That's just it. I was just thinking… more like daydreaming… if maybe, Ferb and I moved in together."

"You basically did." He stated.

"I know!" I exclaimed. "That's the point. He basically lives with me now, since Phineas and Mishti have been driving him nuts…" Kyle started laughing. "Shut up. So I was thinking about just actually moving in together… but it's such a huge step! I've never… well, I've never gotten this far with anyone!"

I was prepared to marry Phineas Flynn and grow old with him the minute he said "Hi Isabella," but now I was too scared to even contemplate moving in with Ferb. Ferb was my soulmate; we would pass any soulmate test. But what he had said… no growth in a year. We had flipped from friends to lovers in a blink of an eye, but nothing since. In a checklist, we had done all of it though. First date, kiss, night, "I love you", although maybe not in the perfect order. We already knew each other's friends and family. And we had been together a year plus. So what was the next most logical step?

"Does Green even know this?" Kyle asked.

"He was the one who implied it." I declared.

"So?"

So….

* * *

I was kind of nervous. I had to get through all of this before the whole gang showed up after me. Hopefully no one was in there right now.

"Ferb…" He looked up from the blueprints he was packing up. "What are those?" I remarked.

"Big ideas crafted before the mismatched epic of Paris and Heer began." Ferb said cynically.

"Aww, Ferbie." I giggled. "You miss him, don't you?" He gave me an unhappy glare. "You know you do."

"It's Phinabella all over again." He muttered under his breath.

I wish I didn't hear that. Not only were Phineas and I still in the back of his mind, but also he was feeling the same irritation he used to get when I would ignore him for Phineas, except flipped, as Phineas was the one ignoring him for someone now. Not to mention, Mishti was kind of similar to me. I chose to ignore it.

"It's ok, Ferb. Everyone is literally coming over. The gang isn't going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere."

"I know Bella." He said sweetly.

I bit my lip. Suddenly my idea of moving in with Ferb seemed like a bad one. Phineas and Ferb had both subtly missing one another because of continuous stupid girl drama, and now, I would literally take Phineas' roommate and Ferb away from his brother if we did this. I should just forget this. And I was about to, until the words tumbled out of my mouth.

"Do you want to move in with me?" His eyebrows slightly rose. "I… um…" I felt like an idiot but I kept going. "Not this second or anything. Not even my tiny apartment or anything. But just, we've been together for a while and I was thinking, maybe we are ready to start living together, I mean we practically do."

"Yes."

I was completely blubbering like a crazy person. "I mean, I love you, and we're still doing the same stupid across the hallway thing everyday, and you asked me what's changed and where this relationship is going and… you said what?"

"I said yes, Isabella." He stated.

"You- you want to?" I felt myself smiling.

He nodded. "I had been thinking about it."

"Is that because you love me or because those two are driving you crazy?" I asked playfully.

"Both." He stated.

I giggled. "So, we're like, going to do this?" He nodded. "O-Ok! Whoo." I sighed in relief. Well, anxiety gone. About asking him anyway. We still had to FIND a place. "So we can maybe start looking soon?" He nodded again. "I love you baby." We gently hugged.

There was knocking at the door, and Ferb left me to go answer it. I'm going to move in with my boyfriend. Wow.

"Boo!" Buford jumped into the room. "Look who I brought…" He said sneakily.

Baljeet followed him. It felt like forever since I had seen Baljeet. Just about every group night since the fight began, we had avoided including Baljeet and Phineas. Phineas obviously didn't care, as he had his own plans nowadays, but I was really regretting not talking to Baljeet. I felt like I should be furious with him; he wanted to ruin Phineas' love story and absolutely broke Ginger's heart. But, he just looked so sad, and skinny, and had relatively dark circles. He didn't look quite as bad as Ginger had, but still. This was my best friend we were talking about, and I didn't have it in me to hate my best friends.

"Hi." He said blandly.

"You came to Phineas and Ferb's?" I asked.

"I was brought to Ferb's." He said weakly. "I would rather leave though. I am not sure I really want…" He didn't want to be around Phineas and Ginger. Baljeet was not a hateful person. The insults he had been throwing back and forth with them was taking too much out of him.

"Ok Baljeet." I gave him a quick hug. "We'll… the four of us will hang out soon, ok?" He sadly nodded and left.

"What did you do that for?" Buford exclaimed. "Do you know how much effort it took to get him here?"

"Oh Buford." I sighed. "He's upset. Leave him be." Just then, we heard more voices. Phineas, to be precise.

"You make the best ice cream on the moon."

"Sure." The door opened, and a flock of people came in. The girls, and Phineas of course.

Mishti laughed. "Maybe you should just try to make more ice cream on Earth, Phineas Flynn." _Gravity_.

"Hey everybody." I said sweetly.

"Gracious hostess inviting us in. Even Phineas in his own house." Adyson said snarkily.

Phineas in his own house. God, this house thing… we would have to tell him. Although Phineas looked perky and happy. They must have missed Baljeet leaving.

The gang threw themselves lazily around. "I think we've just started coming here out of habit." Gretchen remarked.

"So it's the backyard all over again." Buford asked. "We were never big on permission."

"You guys are always welcome here." Phineas said sweetly.

"Except when two people are doing inappropriate things." Adyson laughed.

"Ew." Holly said. "Now you're reminding me of- "

"Let me guess." I said. "Another bad date story?" Holly nodded glumly.

"We've all been there, Holly." Milly stated. "Who in this room doesn't have a bad sex story?"

"Some things are not meant to be shared." Buford said darkly. "And some girls are just awful… at everything."

"Ew, guys, come on." I said. "No innuendos, please."

"But,"

"NO!" I declared. "I don't want to hear anything."

"But we could probably hear you." Adyson giggled.

"What?" I questioned.

Adyson started giggling. "Well, we aren't all screamers like you, Isabella." She ran her hand through her hair passionately. "Oh Ferb! Oh Ferb! YES! FERB! YES FERB!"

Everyone burst out laughing. Ferb's neck turned red.

"What!" I shouted. "How… how do you know that?"

"A little birdie might have told us." Katie giggled.

"With 'birdie' being code word for 'brother'." Buford chuckled.

I turned to Phineas, fuming. "I…" He stammered. "Thanks a lot, Buford!"

"Phineas!" I yelled at the redhead.

"It just slipped out. I'm sorry!" He whimpered.

"He also told us you're so loud he has to put on headphones and hide under his covers." Adyson said. Everyone laughed even more.

"You aren't helping me here, guys." Phineas said.

"Oh yeah…" I said. "Well… well, Phineas growls!"

There was five seconds of silence, then, if possible, everyone started laughing even harder.

"No I don't!" He said, blushing.

"Yeah, you do! I've heard you! You growl in bed!" I stated loudly. "And Mishti purrs!"

"Hey, what did I do?" She said indignantly.

"Ferb still has wet dreams about Isabella!" Phineas blurted out awkwardly as his defense. The gang was simply dying of laughter now. Adyson was rolling on the ground, Milly and Katie were gripping each other for support, and Buford looked like he was having a heart attack.

"You bloody wanker!" Ferb threw a pillow at Phineas. "Phineas' first time was with Debbie Larkin!"

"FERB!" Phineas shouted.

"Wait, what?" I exclaimed.

"Your college lab partner with the bad teeth?" Holly choked out.

"OH MY GOD, I CAN'T FUCKING BREATHE!" Buford sputtered.

"And his second time…" Ferb said, somewhat spitefully. "Was with Mishti."

It got awkward then, with both brothers glaring at each other. I mean, it wasn't shocking that Phineas hadn't been with a girl since college, but it seemed mean and awkward to say it out loud. Although, if I had known that, I might have said it too; we had both been mad at him. It was so bad to see Phineas and Ferb of all people starting to get tension between them. Was the fighting EVER going to end? I moved over to Ferb and rubbed my hands up and down his shoulders.

"It's fine." I whispered. "It's fine. We're all friends here, it's fine."

Only then did I notice Mishti was stroking the angry Phineas and doing the same thing with him.

"Man," Buford said out loud, glancing back and forth between the four of us. "I think I need a girlfriend."

It was still kind of tense, so the group sort of started to stand up and disperse and have separate conversations. I hope they weren't tearing us apart.

I pulled Ferb up. He looked angry. "You need to apologize to him." I said.

"I need to?" Ferb exclaimed.

"Yes! You told everyone something really personal about him. Ok, so what if our friends know about our sexcapades? But it matters that you told." I gently pushed angry Ferb towards angry Phineas. Mishti was running her hands through his hair, but he still looked like he wanted to punch something. As Ferb walked over, Mishti left him and came to me.

"Hmm, how's he looking?" I asked Mishti.

She sighed. "He'll be fine. These boys… they're so immature, na?"

"I'm sorry I said something about you." I said guiltily.

She giggled. "No, it's fine. It's fine. It's true. I do, what did you say, 'purr'. And… he does like to growl." We both started laughing. "I enjoy hanging out with you, Isabella. I already told you, I don't have that many close girlfriends."

"Aw, me too." I replied. I really did. We had so much in common; I wish she could stay here.

Phineas returned to us, and he seemed to have made up with Ferb too.

"Isabella… I'm really sorry." Phineas said regretfully. "I shouldn't have said anything about you two to anyone."

"It's fine, Phineas." I said. "We're sorry for trying to embarrass you too."

"You silly boy!" Mishti giggled.

"Could you not? Don't forget… I know a lot of secrets about you now." He smirked.

"Blackmail? How unlike you, Phineas." I said.

"She started it!" He pointed at Mishti.

"No, I didn't! You did!" They were like fighting siblings. "And I know just as much. What about the time when you were trying to flip positions and you fell off the bed?" Ok… maybe not THAT much like siblings. Mishti and I just burst out laughing.

"Mishti!" He exclaimed.

"Ha ha ha…" She ruffled his hair as she left. "Ha, _mera dil_. Soooo sweet!"

He rubbed his eyes. "That girl… as if I haven't suffered enough."

I grinned. "So… Debbie Larkin?"

"Ohhh… nooo… I can't believe everyone knows that now." He moaned. "It was literally the worst thing ever. We like… didn't even take our clothes off, I… I lasted like two seconds, and she left me right after!" Aw. I couldn't help smiling at his misery but, poor Phineas. Just another reason why he was so terrified of anything sexual. "And, Holly's right! Her teeth were bad!"

I sighed. "Phineas… you chose Debbie Larkin…"

He seemed to know what I was going to say. "…Over you?" I looked down. "I told you, Isabella, it just, it would've ruined everything. I just wanted to get it done!" I rolled my eyes. That is so like Phineas. Lose virginity, check. Next up… graduation. "I mean, come on, I didn't think I'd ever…"

"Get really drunk, sleep with your best friend's 'not-really-ex-girlfriend', and then become friends-with-benefits with her?" I finished helpfully.

"Yeah. That." He said dryly.

"Was Ferb the only one who knew? About Debbie?"

"Well, I tell Ferb everything." He stated.

"Me too. Shit, if he gets angry like that again, we're screwed." I joked.

"You know you always wanted Ferb," He said, genuinely. "I don't think you ever wanted to jump on me all the time the way you do with him, or the way I do with Mi-" He blushed.

"Finish that sentence!" I declared.

"No!" He squealed and ran out of the room. So innocent… and yet, so not anymore.

* * *

I sighed, as I gently smoothed out my pajama pants' wrinkles and sat on the bed next to Ferb. "They're made for each other."

"What?" He turned to me.

"Phineas and Mishti are made for each other." I sighed again.

He rolled his eyes. "Isabella, I think I've had quite enough Phineas and Mishti for today."

"Ok." I stared at him for a few minutes. "So who was your first?" I asked cautiously.

"Huh?" Ferb replied.

"Who… who was your first time? Who was your Debbie Larkin?"

We both started snickering at that. He leaned back. "It was Sandra. That shouldn't be too surprising, she was my girlfriend, after all."

"Right." I mumbled. Sandra. His college girlfriend. The British one. I had never met her. He had never really told us much about her. Everyone knew Ferb was the "ladies' man". It had never bothered me before, but now… I don't know. Obviously Sandra was more significant than I had thought.

"And you?" He glanced at me.

I looked down. "Morrie Walker."

There was a tiny gasp. I winced. "Oh… Bella."

Morrie Walker was a short, kind of nutty, and also Jewish, cute boy who fell for me senior year of high school. I was constantly turning him down, like I did with most guys at that time, on account of Phineas. Finally, I did agree to go out with him a few times, and the timing was really bad because I don't remember what, but Phineas really did something to piss me off with his obliviousness, and Morrie and I decided to lose our virginity to each other. It hurt and it sucked, and only a little while later, Morrie and I broke up. And it was ugly. And public. And he flat out accused me of being a whore in a crowded school hallway, reducing me to tears, and "confirming" everyone's suspicions that Isabella was sleeping with all her guy friends. I think he wanted to apologize later that year, but the boys would have none of it. I'm pretty sure all four of them went to threaten him together. And that is why I have guy friends.

"Bella… you were so young."

"I wish it was you." I said. "I mean, not just because I love you and we're together now. And not just because Morrie was a jerk. But because at least I'm comfortable with you. But, maybe that would've ruined everything! I mean, I couldn't possibly have been any good!"

"I wouldn't have cared." Ferb remarked.

"Ok. Great. So let's go to the time machine, tell Isabella and Ferb to lose their virginity to each other and they'll look at us like we're crazy." I laughed. Ferb started laughing too. "I never ever would have believed I would be with you. I only had one thought in my stupid girl head: Phineas. And, I wonder what would happen if you told eleven-year-old Phineas he'd end up fucking Mishti Patel every night? He would not be able to comprehend it."

"I'd rather not mess with the way things worked out." Ferb said. "Friends-with-benefits might sound like a weird way to start a relationship, but it was the right transition for us."

"What?" I smiled at him. "Even if I got over Phineas, even if you got over Vanessa, it didn't matter, we still had to kiss and make love or…"

"We would've just kept trying to convince ourselves we were just friends. For the rest of our lives."

"Well, as long as we're telling dirty secrets…" I shifted my legs. "I had a sex dream about you once in high school."

He stared at me.

"It was like senior year. It was in my house and we did it on my dining room table, and I like had a full orgasm in my sleep. That had never happened before, or again."

"Christ, Isabella."

"Ha ha ha! Ferb, " I kissed him. "Ferb, did you ever dream about me?"

"Nooo…" He said guiltily.

"Ferb." I gave him a look.

"Maybe once… or twice… or constantly…" I started laughing.

"Teenage boy going through puberty with female best friend. It will happen. Started again when we broke up." He said grimly.

"We never…"

"When I was dating Vanessa and you were dating Phineas." He said quietly.

"So what Phineas said… you started dreaming about me?" I whispered.

"Yeah."

"No, no, my baby!" I pulled him into a passionate kiss. "I… will… never… leave… you… ever… again." I said between kisses.

Ferb nuzzled my neck. "I want to do it on your dining room table now." He mumbled into me.

"Great, now I do too!" I groaned.


	21. Heer and Paris

**I got so many views so rapidly for last chapter, more so than like half of the others got in that time period. Was like one guy reading it over and over again? You know who you are, random guy...**  
 **Lol, so a lot of this chapter is inspired by random events and people in my life.**

* * *

I still hadn't confronted Phineas about changing our living arrangements. I can't say Phineas was exactly HAPPY when I decided to go to England for college. Not to mention, even though he tried to hide it and keep himself together, he was so sad when Candace moved out. It would be the most minor of things… the girls, and Irving, and Django… so many of us already lived in different places around the city, and that hadn't affected any friendships. Buford and Wynne, and Baljeet too, when they finally made up, would still be here with him. So this shouldn't be a big deal, right?

You don't quite realize love was living for someone else until you actually do fall in love. And Isabella wanted this. Isabella was an over-the-top dreamer and romantic… and honestly, so was I. In truth besides Phineas, I had no hesitations. And, in all seriousness… never before had we seen Phineas, not happy necessarily, just so… enlivened.

They say everyone is looking for love, but truth is everybody is just looking _to be_ loved. What everyone wants is someone else to love them; the fantasies come before the realities. Everyone is selfish in that aspect. All Isabella wanted was to be treated as the center of attention, romantic or otherwise. All Baljeet wanted was to be treated as attractive and charming. All Buford wanted was someone he could be himself with. And all I wanted was for someone to really understand me, Ferb the oddball. That's the truth. When people imagine love, they only imagine it as making themselves happy. It's only after you meet one person, your true love, that you realize, all you want to do is make _them_ happy.

"FERB!" I heard yelling. Phineas ran into the apartment. "Ferb! I… I need… help? Advice? I don't know."

Phineas could tell me anything. Phineas DID tell me everything.

He paced around, like he was puzzling over something. "I… I slept with Mishti last night."

I gave him a look. He was kidding me, right? He had to be kidding.

"No, Ferb, I didn't… We didn't…"

I gestured to his extremely obvious sex hair. Ha, I might have been able to get that past him every day, but it wasn't going to work the other way around.

"Ohhh…" He smoothed it back into place. "Okay, so maybe in the morning… FERB! That's not the point! I slept with Mishti last night. I slept with her. That's it." He said, confused. "We're like, we don't… are we not supposed to do that? I don't think we are." He sighed. "She had gotten upset, and I just wanted her to feel better. That's it."

Are you not supposed to do that? I suppose Phineas assumed I was the master of friends-with-benefits. I don't know. They spent almost every night together, but that seemed more like out of courtesy, to keep anyone from that horrible feeling when someone does you and leaves the minute after. Phineas and Mishti, but no sex… I would picture a pillow fight and doing puzzles kind of sleepover, they were so innocent. But this sounded a little… extremely… intimate.

Phineas still so seemed concerned by this. "I mean, she's my friend, I always help my friends… right?" He was talking to himself again. Sometimes I think Phin uses my silence as an excuse to talk to himself. "But she doesn't want…"

" _Stupid_ chick…" We heard loud shouting and the door opened.

"Hey guys!" Wynne said chirpily. She, Kyle, and Buford walked in.

"Byoof, calm the fuck down." Kyle said.

"Calm? Me? I'm totally calm." He said sarcastically.

"What's wrong?" Phineas asked, concerned.

"He got into a 'fight' with Adyson." Wynne whispered to us. "Except, you know, it wasn't a fight."

"Huh?"

"Apparently she said something about how she thought he was ugly and scary when you were kids or something." Kyle said bluntly, as we all sat down in the living room.

I glanced at Buford. Were certain feelings for a certain girl coming up all of a sudden?

"I guess I'm stuck in a world where Adyson and Baljeet have turned into jackasses, and half of the gang are in gross fluffy relationships." He said bitterly.

Wynne draped her legs over Kyle's. "There's nothing wrong with being fluffy." She joked.

"Ok, so there's three kinds of girlfriends, Buford," Kyle stated. "The absolute excellence, like Wynne,"

"Aw. You're such a suck-up." She said jokingly.

"And Isabella," He gestured to me. "You know, the kind of girls you stay with forever and bring home to Mom and Dad. Then, there are the psycho-girlfriends. Like Ginger with her jealousy, or Adyson when she gets dumped."

"Yup." Buford said, somewhat sulkily.

"And, then you know, there are the heartbreakers, like Vanessa."

"Yeah. Or Mishti." Buford laughed.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Phineas asked instantly.

Buford stared at him. "Well, you know, how gorgeous they are, and how with Ferb and Baljeet…"

"And how she's so…" Kyle faltered.

Wynne rolled her eyes. "They just want to say Mishti is– "

"She's not a slut!" Phineas yelled very loudly. We all stared, taken aback. "That's what you were going to say, wasn't it? Right?"

"Phin, we weren't…" I began.

"Shut up! I know that's what they were going to say! They all said it about Isabella too! Well, she's not! If you think she is, there's something seriously wrong with you! There's nothing slutty about Mishti!" He declared. "Mishti… Mishti is perfect." He glared at us all again, and stormed out.

"Whoa." Kyle said.

"Ok, what the hell has gotten into these nerds?" Buford asked.

"We didn't say anything!" Wynne cried. "I wasn't going to say anything like that!"

"Ferb, we never really… I know you think we're assholes, but we weren't serious about anything we said about Isabella and you." Buford said, in earnest. "I think you know by know, we had always kind of been rooting for you two."

I nodded. The poll. Still so strange.

"We don't think Mishti's a slut!" Kyle exclaimed. "Mishti is a perfect human specimen."

"You… you don't think, maybe, in the back of his mind, HE thinks that, do you?" Wynne asked. "And that's why he suddenly got all defensive."

"No." I said quietly. "No. He yelled at us, he got so mad at us, because… _she_ thinks that."

I feel like I suddenly learned what happened that night between those two. Isabella had broken up with me because she felt like being friends-with-benefits was somehow a lowly thing to do. I can't imagine how awful she might have felt if she had done it with someone else, someone she barely knew, an acquaintance… a stranger. Mishti wasn't doing anything wrong, but if this was bothering her, Phineas would do anything to keep her from getting upset. Phineas always wanted to fix everyone's problems. So how could he not want to fix Mishti's?

* * *

 **Come over.**

I rolled my eyes. I was hiding in my room again. Jesus Christ. I didn't really want to mess with Phineas right now though. He got mad at us, and evidently Mishti wasn't in the mood to see anyone either.

 **I'm naked.**

I rolled my eyes again. As enticing as that sounded, as previously stated, I was currently hiding from Phineas and Mishti. I slowly opened the door, and saw none other than Phineas and Mishti sitting in the kitchen.

"Hey Ferb!" Phineas gestured to me, sounding perky and normal. I walked over to them. They were both fully clothed, which gave me the feeling Phineas had found his own answer on what people should or should not do with their friends-with-benefits, and as I had noticed, Phineas and Mishti just liked… hanging out.

 **Fine, jerk. I'm coming over there.**

It took only two seconds after that text for the door to open. "Ferb, you jerk… oh, Mishti, and Phineas. Right." Isabella said awkwardly.

"Hi Isabella." Phineas and Mishti chimed together.

"Umm, yeah… oh, whatcha' doin'?"

"Hey, we have four people, why don't we break out the old video games?" Phineas said.

"Oh, so you don't want to build a skyscraper in a half-hour then, Phineas Flynn?" Mishti remarked.

He arched an eyebrow. "Are you being sarcastic? Because I can never tell." Wow, Isabella was right. I'm pretty sure Phineas wouldn't be able to spot sarcasm if it made the speaker blink bright colors, before Mishti. He didn't seem to require an answer from her, because he went off to rapidly pull things together.

"Am I allowed?" Isabella asked, as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

I kissed her hand. "Of course you are, my love."

She leaned closer to my ear. "And I'm guessing these two are the reason why you couldn't leave a millisecond after I texted you."

"Please save me." I whispered.

She giggled. "Trust me, I am working on it."

Phineas returned with a mountain full of cables and wires, and started messing with the TV. "Mishti?" We glanced over at her. "You wanna play?" Isabella asked.

She was staring at herself in her compact. Mishti practically lived in my house now, so this wasn't the first time I had caught the girl staring at herself in a mirror or camera phone. It seemed to be the one fault she had besides cluelessness… she was vain. Not abnormally so; I'm sure Isabella had done just this many times before… when she was younger. Mishti was as vain as a teenager. Just like how Phineas had never grown up, I see she hadn't really either.

"Sure." She answered, not really looking away. "Hmm, Isabella, what do you think of this color?" She pursed her lips. She was wearing a dark red lipstick.

Isabella sat down next to her. "I like it. Although, I normally wear pink. Don't you normally wear pink?"

"Yes." She nodded. "But, oh…" She sighed, as she glanced across the room, to where Phineas was hooking up the game. "Red has been growing on me." She said seductively.

To Isabella's dismay and our glee, actively calling Mishti as her partner in the soccer game we had chosen wasn't working out in the competitive troop captain's favor.

"Mishti, stop pausing the screen!" Isabella exclaimed, frustrated.

"I'm sorry!" She said. "What button do I press again to move?"

"The ones shaped like arrows!" Isabella shouted.

"Face it, Bella, you're done." I said confidently. "We're ten goals ahead."

"And he shoots… and he SCORES!" Phineas shouted. "Eleven!" He and I high-fived.

"Damn you two, I would be winning if Mishti didn't pause the screen every minute or pass to you every time!" Isabella growled. She hates losing to me.

"You picked her." Phineas said.

"That's because she's great at everything!" Isabella cried.

"Yup. Except video games." Phineas said cockily.

"Hey!" Mishti exclaimed.

"I'm sorry." He apologized. "But you're SO bad! Ow! Ow!" He cried, laughing at the same time, as Mishti started beating him with her cushion.

"Hey, no violence." I announced.

"Take it back!" She cried.

"No, no…" He laughed. "You're too bad to take it back."

"This game is so over." Isabella said angrily. "I forfeit. We are just a pack of idiot kids!"

"Sore loser!" I called.

"Ow!" Phineas exclaimed. "Mishti, stop!"

"Say I'm the best at this game."

"But you're not. OW."

"Say it!"

"Fine, Mishti, fine. You're the queen at video games, just like you're the queen at everything else!"

"Thank you." She said sweetly, returning to her ladylike position.

"Ferb, why are all my friends abusive?" Phineas asked.

"Ok, I'm going home." Isabella said. "Ferb, there will be a rematch!" She said, defiantly.

"Ok." Mishti said, yawning. She leaned close to Phineas. "Phineas, I'm getting… _hungry_." She said, really suggestively.

"Yeah, I… oh. OH." He sat straight up. Well, finally. It seems like Mr. Oblivious was learning a lot from being friends-with-benefits. And… I'm out. I made a mad dash to my room before anyone could do anything to anyone.

It was funny, that as weird as it had initially seemed… Phineas seemed like the first person to successfully test out the "friends-with-benefits" theory and not have it blow up in his face. He wasn't the kind of person to fall in love with a friend and he might have picked the perfect girl to join him. As he continuously put it… they were "just friends". Yup. There you go: two twenty-something friends get to have sex with each other and stay friends, with zero consequences, if you don't count Baljeet. And it was working out astonishingly well. Phineas and Mishti just had fun together. Yeah, they had friendly fun and yeah, they had… sexual fun… but maybe I was the only one who noticed that Phineas really, really adored hanging out with Mishti. Enough to yell at all of us in her defense or fight his best friend for her. Clearly, more than any girlfriend he had ever had and shockingly, even more than Baljeet, based on the current feud. Maybe even more than Buford, Bella, and… me. And tragically, the stupid idiot still only thought of them as friends. I REALLY hope he didn't think of Mishti as a sister like he did with Isabella. I feel like that's mainly because we had grown up with Isabella. Mishti had just fallen into his life. Everyone had always said… Phineas wasn't the kind of person to fall in love. Except… he was. I knew Phineas. Phineas fell in love with things almost instantly, and strongly. With a new goldfish. With a sea monster. With a weird pet we got when we were little named Perry. Phineas had just never fallen in love with a girl. Until he woke up in bed next to one. And no matter what he said or how much he tried to deny, Phineas had never felt these feelings about anyone but Mishti. Phineas could do anything and everything but, really, can he juggle sex and friendship without falling in love?

Because I couldn't.

* * *

 **If anyone is getting bored by all my fluffy lovey goo... I think what I'm doing right now will be pretty important in upcoming chapters... I think. Pretty please review.**

 **Love, Silver**


	22. Loss of Gravity

**I saw, I think, my new favorite rom-com this weekend, sort of magical. But I'm still a bitter little girl, so both of those themes might be in this. But really, if anything, this chapter is really a lot of Isabella reflection on relationships and stuff.**

* * *

As much as I wished life could be as adorable and fluffy and wonderful as it was with Ferb, it wasn't. I remembered that today when I tripped on my own dress at work and everyone laughed at me. I remembered that today when my mother called yet again to nag me; I don't know what the heck my parents expect from me. I can barely remember life without a boyfriend. Jesus, I was so pathetic. My life had revolved around Phineas, but that wasn't the only problem. I was… I don't know, full of myself? I automatically expected everything to work out for me, friends, family, and love life, and put on the façade that I was the cute perfect one. The only person who truly saw behind the, the, "Whatcha' doin'?" was Ferb. Weirdly enough, I only got the "Mrs. Perfect" tag after we got together… seems like it only took the appearance of a cute couple for everyone to think your life was perfect. No one knew about the fights, the insecurities, the drama, the backstory… although now, apparently, they know all about our sex life. Thank you, Phineas. No one in the world was better at fixing problems than Ferb. And that's the biggest contributor to the perfect couple… having the perfect boyfriend. At least, the perfect boyfriend for you.

I was still upset that Baljeet and Ginger had broken up. As I had told her, Baljeet and Ginger were the perfect couple. Ginger was the one with her whole life together, the one who had actually landed her crush and soul mate. You know… Mishti was leaving tonight. And without Mishti, they definitely could make-up. If I could just get them to actually speak to each other. I was working on it.

"Isabella!" Ginger threw a cushion at me. "Off in another fantasy?" She chuckled.

"No." I denied. Having Ginger here to just hang out was the best I could come up with. No pressure. Ginger wasn't even that upset right now. She was almost her normal Gingery self. "Are you doing something weird?"

"No." She said.

"Hmm," I glanced at my feet. "Should I get my toes done for tonight?"

"Why?" She tilted her head. Oh god, please tell me she was invited to the party tonight. "For Baljeet's?" She rolled her eyes.

"You should come." I encouraged.

"Oh, I'm coming." She said defiantly. "I'm tired of letting him think he's won the gang."

"Kay." I said weakly. I glanced around the room. Her loft was so nice. We all thought it. "Hey, Ginge… What would it take to get an apartment in your building? Your loft is so nice." Ginger sighed. "Because Ferb and I – "

"I get it!" She almost cried. "You and Ferb are moving in together. Could you stop rubbing it in?"

I stared at her. "Ok, Ginge, I already have one friend making random outbursts like this. I know you're upset about Baljeet, but… is there something else? Did I do something? Tell me if anything is up; you're my best friend."

"Am I though?" She asked. "What about Adyson? And Gretchen? And Buford? And Phineas and Ferb? And BALJEET? And… _Mishti_?

I groaned. "Please don't tell me you're that jealous of her? Ginger, she's leaving tonight! And she's not doing anything with Baljeet!"

"She would've though." Ginger stated plainly, without jealousy even in her voice. "Like we said earlier… how many single guys were running around here? I mean, we know she doesn't want to be with Phineas."

"Ginger, you've always been leaving the room while they're together. I'm sure she's never like that with anyone else." I sighed.

"No, she flirts with all of them." Ginger declared.

"No… not on purpose, I think." I said. It was true; Mishti was just a naturally flirty person.

"But she does it anyway." Ginger said. "You know, like you did."

"Me?"

Isabella the flirt, who hit on all her guy friends. Isabella, the loser who spent all day desperately seducing one guy, her best friend. Isabella, the bitch that made someone cheat on their girlfriend. Isabella, the one with the fuck buddy.

I KNOW my friends don't think that about me. I know they don't. But, why can't I stop thinking this about myself? "I think I need to leave." I said weakly.

"Ok." She responded.

"You better come tonight." I said indignantly.

* * *

"Ferb," I laid my head gently on his shoulder. "Is there something wrong with me?"

"Why do you keep asking me that?" He said gently.

"Because I think there is." I responded.

"Time for a toast!" Baljeet said loudly. Everyone stood up or turned their attention to him. "To my oldest friend and the newest favorite of our gang."

"To Mishti!" We all cheered.

"Thanks guys!" She giggled. Oh, I'm going to miss that giggle. "Baljeet, you were sooo sweet to throw this for me." She hugged him. Ginger glared.

"It is nothing." He said smugly.

Honestly, I don't think Mishti made him nervous and excited at all anymore; I think he flirted with her just to piss off Ginger… and maybe Phineas. I searched around for him. God, I hadn't seen him all night. There he was… Phineas was leaning against a wall, far in the corner, his arms crossed. He had a small smile on his face and he raised his glass when we toasted just like everyone else, but that smile was plastic. Ferb told me he had come home this morning in a total panic, and Ferb was so confused. And the only thing he had been muttering was… "She's leaving, she's leaving."

Oh Phineas. Why did he do these things to himself? I figured he of all people would have been right on top of every single day Mishti was staying in the U.S., but no, he had been too caught up in the moment, and it had flown right by him. Of course she was leaving! The first time she had been here for like one day! He was lucky he got her for a month. He had all these pretty girls swirling all around him every day, and while Mishti was a knockout, that wasn't why Phineas wanted her. I mean, when we saw her in the airport, he didn't care, while the other three were about to faint because of their dumbass male minds. Phineas wanted Mishti because she just… was Mishti. She had started something in him. She brought out something in him. And I guess that was going to go back into hiding again now.

I sat down on the couch next to Ginger. "Sooo…"

"What?" She said.

"Ginger." I gave her a look.

"What? If you're implying that I'm going to get back together with Baljeet just because his trampy little friend is leaving tonight, then you are very mistaken!" She said haughtily.

"Ginger, stop it. You are such a bitch when you're angry."

"But… but…" She broke her bitch persona. "Isabella, I can't."

"But you love each other." I sighed. "It took Ferb and I soooo long to confess that we love each other. We were yelling at each other, throwing things, breaking into each other's apartments in the middle of the night… ok, that part was fucking hot."

"Izzy!" We started laughing. "I'd rather not hear about Ferb's and your freaky sex life right now."

"Ok, babe. I'll try to give better advice in a minute. I'm just gonna grab a glass of water." I laughed. Ginger was smiling, but she sighed to herself as I left.

God, I hate this. Baljeet was being such a jerk. I really wanted them to get back together, but I knew if I was in Ginger's position, I would be holding firm like her. Baljeet and Ginger had been in love each other, real love. I guess the deepest love can turn into the most intense hatred if you let it.

I sighed. I watched Mishti, gabbing away with the guys and the girls. She looked absolutely perfect, like always. Her red dress was a Mishti original, and I think Adyson would actually kill a man for one. It wasn't fancy or short or sparkly or anything, but the way it hugged her curves just made it look special. This was the first time I had seen her hair curled. I never curled my hair; it was just too puffy already. I assumed Mishti's was similar, but she had gone the extra mile to probably straighten, then curl it. I was going to miss her. She was a little irritating, a little vain, a little clueless… but she was the sweetest person.

"Hey Mishti." I said, gently to her.

"Isabella." She said, happily.

"You know, I'm going to miss you a lot." I said sadly.

"Oh," She pouted. "Me too. Well, I had a lot of fun this trip. What is it that you guys always try to do? Have the best day ever? Well, this was the best!"

"Oh, come back soon. We'll have more girls' nights!" I said. We hugged. I let her go; the party girl had to go back to being center of attention.

"Mishti! Get your camera! You need some party pics!" Katie said happily.

"Ok! One second, I have to grab it from a suitcase!"

"Yeah, this will be a great album…" Katie was chattering to no one in particular, but Mishti had suddenly vanished. One minute she was headed towards the dark hall to the bedrooms, where I assume her suitcases were, the next she was gone. I stared for a moment, then walked down that hallway, but paused when I heard voices.

"Do you have any idea," He murmured. "…How hard it's been to get ahold of you?"

Oh great. I wasn't supposed to spy on him anymore. Gah! But… how could I not? I mean, where had the clueless boy been the whole night? Where was Mr. Perky? I figured he would've been competing with Baljeet over who would throw this party or who could make it more awesome for her. Phineas would be running all the activities, cutting the cake, making the toast, etc. I figured at least he would've been partying with his new best friend-with-benefits, Mishti. Instead, he had practically been in hiding… and I guess, stalking her.

"Phineas! You scared me!" She said breathlessly. He had pulled her into this little dark alcove in the hallway.

"So…" I heard a kiss. "You're leaving me?"

"Phineas…"

"You're leaving me?" There was the puppy dog Phineas voice. Oh Phineas! What was wrong with you?

"Phineas," She said seriously. "You knew this was going to happen, ok? We had rules. I told you right from the beginning. This – us – this was just for fun. We had no…"

"No strings attached, I know." He said, exasperated. FUCK, I'm really starting to HATE that phrase. I fucking HATE it. Curse whoever came up with it. "I just… I don't want you to leave, Mishti." He said, sheepishly.

"Oh, Phineas…" She chuckled. "You're such a…"

"Sweet boy! I know! I get it! Stop calling me that!" Phineas said angrily. He was full on throwing a tantrum now, be it a quiet one. "You, you can't go! What am I supposed to do without you? Huh? Did you think about that? What am I supposed to do without you here? I'll… I'll be… bored!" He said, looking for a word.

" _Mera dil_ …" She said lightly. "You're Phineas Flynn. I'm surprised that term is even in your vocabulary."

"Oh… no…" He needed an excuse, anything he could say that could magically convince this girl to drop her entire life and move to a foreign country for a goofy redheaded kid that she had jumped in the sack with a few too many times. And, honestly, what kind of excuse existed for that? Because "I'll be bored" sure wasn't it. "I'll miss you" was closer. There was only one thing he could say, and that was "I love you". I'm truly, madly, deeply, in love with you, and I'll die without you here. And ha, this was Phineas. There was no way he could feel like that about anyone. Right?

"So you're going to just… just, just keep being their… their 'Miss Mishti'? Even after all that we…" He said, frustrated. "You don't want to go!" He declared angrily. "I know you want to stay here!"

"Want? Want?" She said weakly. "Yes, _mera dil_ , yes, I enjoyed this trip. I enjoyed my time with you. And I know that with me, with you, we can just… have fun. But that doesn't mean…"

"I want you to stay with me." He murmured. "I need you to stay with me."

"Phineas Flynn," She groaned. "Just, why are you so…"

"Please stay…" He whispered.

I had never ever heard Phineas like this. I had honestly never heard anyone like this. No matter how many of the girls' breakups I had comforted them over, no matter how many times I had nursed Ferb over the evil Vanessa, no matter how many times I had been the one in tears… Phineas sounded like he was just… dying. Like he was literally dying and only Mishti could save him.

"Oh Phineas…" She sighed softly. " You know this far better than any of us; summer can't last forever."

"Oh… no, no, Mishti… you can't go!" He groaned to himself. I heard more kissing. Ha, um, I wasn't sure who was kissing what though, but I had a general idea. "Mmm, oh, don't… don't leave me…"

"Phinnn…" She gasped. Ok, what the hell? A couple weeks and apparently Phineas was able to seduce Mishti, when last month he probably didn't know what seduce meant!

"No, you can't leave me, Mishti." He breathed. "Oh, you just… can't." The kissing noises were continuing and their breathing was getting heavy.

"Ohhh…" She moaned. He was getting to her. Jesus, ok, if he ends up taking her into Baljeet's bedroom, that is where I draw the line!

"What will I do without you? Mishti, what will I do? What will I do?" He whimpered desperately.

"Phineas…" She whispered. "You know that I – You and I… mmm… that I have to… ohhh… stop… You'll be fine, _mera dil_. You'll be perfectly fine."

"But I just can't… What would I… How can I… No!" He declared frantically. "Oh… you'll… stay… with me." Mishti was starting to purr. "Say you'll stay with me." He pleaded. "Because you can't leave. You can't leave me. "

"Phineas, you… you need to, oh… listen to me…" Mishti moaned weakly. "Please listen to me." She sharply gasped. "Ohhh, stoppp…"

I shouldn't be listening to this! I couldn't! This was far too intimate, on a million levels. I felt awful. I started to take tiny steps away.

"Please don't leave me, Mishti." He whispered. "Please… Mishti… please…"

"Phineas… no… no…." She moaned softly. "Stop… stop it!" She said angrily. "That's it! Enough!"

Goddamn, she was amazing! If Ferb was doing that to me, hell, maybe if any guy so sweetly had been doing that to me… I would've broken. He was literally begging her to be with him. But then, it was pretty obvious what this meant. Mishti thought of Phineas as her vacation fling. An incredibly passionate fling, starting with a drunken wedding, and resulting in daily doses of a whole lot of sexy time, with a cute, sweet, and lovable boy, but a fling nonetheless. And Phineas? Phineas had avoided even the idea of having sex his entire life! What was Mishti to him? A goddess, a temptress, a siren? No, she was… a necessity. It was like he had been suffering from dehydration his entire life, and he could never see it, only we could, but he never let anyone help. Then, the minute his lips touched hers, he finally realized how thirsty he really was, and he needed to down the whole bottle.

"I am going back to enjoy my party! You are free to join me, if you would like, Phineas Flynn! Then, tonight, I am boarding a flight to India, ok? Do you understand?"

"Mishti…" He said weakly.

"Phineas, they're right! They're all right! Get your head out of the clouds!"

She walked out and back to the main room. I don't think she saw me. It was subtle, but yeah, if you knew, you could see it… the curly hair slightly ruffled, a lot of the gloss missing from the red lips, and a tiny scowl.

Phineas walked forward. His face was the weakest I had ever seen him. It was like she could have slapped him in the face, punched him in the gut, tore apart every one of his plans, cancelled summer, then kicked Perry or something, and it wouldn't have mattered! He still, STILL, would've begged and pleaded for her to stay. He looked as if he wished she had never entered his life in the first place, because now taking her out would cause it to autodestruct… as if he really was terrified of what life was going to be like without her now… as if he really didn't think he could live without her. Almost like, ha, you know, he was truly, madly, deeply in love with her and he was going to die without her here.

FUCK! MISHTI'S HIS GRAVITY.

Oh, and… he did see me, because he jumped about a foot in the air.

"Isabella!"

"Hi?" I said awkwardly.

"They're right! You do spy on me!" He said angrily.

"Phineas…" He was walking too fast to the main door. "Phineas!" I cried. "Wait!"

"We love you Mishti!" Milly said in a bubbly voice, hugging her.

Phineas stared longingly at Mishti, in her pretty red party dress, and her hair beautifully curly, unlike her normal buns or silky straight do's. He closed his eyes real tight. "Oh no, no, no… SHIT." I heard him say to himself, as he walked through the door.

"Phineas!" Oh my god! No, I didn't want this! His words had so much pain behind them… the way mine… the way everyone's did… when your first love breaks your heart.

I couldn't follow him through such a crowd. Suddenly, I felt Ferb catch my hand. "Are you ok?" He asked me, concerned.

"She's his gravity, Ferb. Mishti's his gravity." I said desperately. I could tell by the bewildered look on his face he had no idea what I meant. "He's in love with her. They're not just friends, they're not just friends-with-benefits, Phineas is in love with Mishti."


	23. Absolute Zero

**Well, this has been sitting around forever. I'm trying to get a chapter for my other story up this week too.**

* * *

 _"Phineas is in love with Mishti."_

Of… of course he was. Of course he was. One thing after another, we all had seen it. Of course he was. Phineas had been falling and falling for this girl, maybe even from the minute he saw her; how would we know? And now, she was going to leave him before he even really realized it.

"Alright," Baljeet announced. "We only have five extra seats to go in the taxi to the airport, ok? And I am definitely coming!"

"Of course you are!" Mishti gave him a small hug.

"I, fuuuuu-" Ginger was fuming, but she brushed some hair out her face and took a small breath. "Bye Mishti. Bye. I'm glad you came. Honestly. You opened my eyes." She glared at Baljeet and he glared back. "And the girls had fun with you."

"Oh!" Oblivious Mishti hugged her. "Bye Ginger."

"I wanna go!" Wynne cried.

"No, me!" Milly cried. All the girls started fighting.

"Mishti, you are the coolest AND hottest girl in the world!" Kyle fist-bumped her.

"Yeah, what he said." Buford hugged her.

"Aww, boys."

"Let me take one more picture of you!" Irving cried.

"Bye Mr. Fletcher!" Mishti giggled. I hugged her. "Now, you take good care of Isabella!" I smiled and nodded. Those two had become instant friends.

"Oh Isabella!" Mishti hugged her. "Come with me to the airport!"

"Of course!" She said.

"Take me!" Katie yelled.

"NO!" Holly cried.

"Mishti, do you have everything?" Baljeet asked.

"Umm, where's Phineas?" She asked, looking around. Suddenly, we all noticed he wasn't there.

"Um, he went home, Mishti." Isabella said softly.

"Oh." She said blankly. "He went home. Right. Okay."

SHIT. I was suddenly filled with a feeling I hadn't felt in months. Anger. Anger towards Phineas. That same anger I felt when I saw Isabella crying in front of our door. The anger I got every time he had made Isabella cry. Phineas Flynn was a motherfucking heartbreaker. But this time… this time… He might have done it on purpose. I couldn't believe it. She looked so sad, but she was obviously trying to hide it from everyone. Why would he just walk out on her like that? Without telling her anything? It was so unlike him. It had to just be… too painful.

The van ended up being Baljeet, Isabella, Mishti, and some of the girls. Mishti seemed very upset that Phineas hadn't come with them, and that he had left early, and of course she would be. They were making Isabella and I look like we had the easiest love story in the world. Goddamn Phineas. Couldn't you have just said good-bye to her? He probably wasn't going to see her ever again. I can't imagine Baljeet ever letting him hang out with her if she came over, and even if he did, it could take another fifteen something years or more.

"Can I come hang out with you?" Buford asked me sleepily. I nodded. "I can't believe these two have turned from nerds to assholes." He shook his head. He was right. It was mean of Baljeet to purposely flirt with Mishti in front of Phineas and Ginger… and how could Phineas have left Mishti without telling her goodbye? I didn't even see him talk to her the whole party.

I opened the door and saw Phineas sitting on the couch with a glass of what looked to be vodka in his hand, looking miserable.

"NO! No, no, no, no!" I grabbed it from him. We didn't need any more Drunk Phineas escapades.

"Relax. It's my first glass. I've had like one sip." He said.

"Dinnerbell, you're a fucking wreck." Buford said, sitting down next to him.

"I know!" Phineas exclaimed. "God! What is wrong with me?" You're in love. "What is wrong with me?" He repeated. "Mishti's right. I'll never get my head out of the clouds. And I'll never be anything other than… than the stupid sweet boy. And now… she's just… Mishti's gone."

"Phineas, how could you let Mishti leave without saying goodbye?" I said softly.

"I don't know…" He moaned. "I mean, she doesn't care. We aren't… we're not…"

"Blah blah… Remember, you're friends." Buford pointed out. "That's literally the first part of 'friends-with-benefits'. Would you have let any of us flown away without saying goodbye? You might never see her again. Shrimpy might make sure of that."

"Ohhh…" Phineas looked like he might start crying. "No. NO." He grabbed his cell phone as fast as possible. "Mishti… pick up… she's not picking up… why isn't she picking up!?"

"Probably because she has caller id, and knows it's you, and knows you're an ass." Buford stated.

"You're right!" He hung up and called a different number. "Give the phone to Mishti… Give it to her… Yeah, yeah, apology accepted, Isabella, give it to her… GIVE THE FUCKING PHONE TO MISHTI!"

That was such a "Get on the trike!" moment Buford and I could only stare. He was totally having a breakdown. We had never, ever, heard Phineas drop the F-bomb, ever!

"Oh, Mishti…" He whimpered. "Oh my god, I am so sorry I didn't say goodbye to you. And that I left your party. And didn't come with you to the airport. Everything… Of course you are, you didn't answer when I called you… No, Mishti, no!" He sounded like he was in pain. "Oh my god, I know, I'm an idiot! Everyone calls me an idiot! Can I say bye now? Can I say I'll miss you now? Because I will… Ohhh. You knew this kind of thing was going to happen all along, didn't you? You know exactly how bad I am at, you know," He gestured in the air to nothing. "This… Oh, Mishti… ok, bye, bye, I'll miss you, we'll all miss you, but I'll miss you, I'll call you all the time!"

Phineas collapsed back down after that phone call. He still looked like he was going to cry. "Oh no… Ferb, I think I'm… I might be…"

"Yup." Buford nodded. "You idiot."

"I love Mishti? I'm in love with Mishti?" He asked weakly. He rubbed his temples. "I… I love her!" He groaned.

"I know, mate, I know." I sighed.

"You know?" He stared. "How can you know? I didn't even know!"

"It was… kind of obvious, Phineas." Buford said.

"Obvious?"

I sat down on another chair. "Everyone thought you either loved Isabella… or you just couldn't love anyone ever."

"Um, ok." He frowned. "That's kind of mean."

"Yeah." I agreed. "After you broke up with Bella, I figured we just had to wait until the right girl came along to light the fire. I mean, no one ever thought it would be…"

"Oh!" Phineas fell face down into the couch. "Yeah, this friends-with-benefits thing is really really bad."

I just barely laughed. "I know."

"And," Buford said. "It's vodka time, boys."

* * *

I really don't think anyone expected it to happen, but I think we all got depressed after Mishti left. It was like… suddenly the brightest light on the chandelier had gone out. You could still see, but it was just not as nice. The girls; Holly, Katie, Milly, Gretchen, and Wynne, were heartbroken. They had actually been in tears at points. They loved Mishti. She was so fashionable and fun; they adored her. Even Isabella had been. Isabella, despite, all the spying and the plain… weirdness… that had been going on the past few weeks, had really bonded with Mishti. She was going to miss her a lot, I could tell.

There were two girls who didn't care. Adyson wasn't really upset. I think the problem there was timing. Adyson had her heart set on a man, and Mishti slept with him. That sounds like a catty female problem, but Adyson didn't care either way that Mishti was gone. And… Ginger was never going to like Mishti. I just can't see that happening. Mishti leaving seemed to be taking a small weight off of Ginger's shoulders.

And the guys were crushed as well. We missed her stories, we missed how she could she beat us at almost everything, and how she brought life to the room. Mishti's giggle is everybody's favorite sound. And, um, we all… appreciate… her appearance. But, of course, of the guys, there were the two that her leaving bothered the most, depressed the most, of the entire group. And they were, of course, Baljeet and Phineas. I can completely understand why… I had been in their shoes. Mishti was… their Isabella. I mean, she was Baljeet's best friend who grew up with him, confided in him, hung out with him… and chose Phineas. She was Phineas' friend-with-benefits… all they had wanted to do was stay friends, and he had accidentally fallen helplessly in love with her, even though he knew she "belonged" to his best friend. Just when we thought Mishti and Isabella couldn't have more in common.

Baljeet had, he had… ok, well, he had turned into a huge dick! I mean, god! It just kept getting worse! It was one thing when he and Ginger just kept fighting, then he and Phineas, then he started flirting with Mishti right in front of them, but now he was just acting awful to everyone! I had NO clue what was wrong with him. Was he regretting not making a move with Mishti? Did he want to get back together with Ginger? Did he miss Phineas? Ok, that one was definitely true. I never thought Phineas and Baljeet of all people would stop talking to each other for this long. They were best friends! They had always been best friends! I know people might say I'm Phineas' best friend, and I mean, it's true, but really, we're family, I'm his brother. And while Buford and Baljeet are really really close, Buford is Baljeet's "bully", and mine and Phineas' too, really, even if he is our friend. Baljeet is Phineas' best friend, since they were really little. And to be fighting over a girl? A girl? Baljeet and Phineas didn't get girls! They never, ever got girls! Ok, yeah, so Ginger and Isabella had chased a lot of girls away, but still! They were nerds, they were geeks, they didn't have cool bones in them. That might be the reason why they were best friends. How could they think a girl was more important than each other!? Isabella and I almost gave up each other for Phineas… we almost gave up each other for EACH OTHER, that's how important our friendships were. Yes, the girl we were speaking of was Mishti… and that girl was quite possibly an Indian goddess who had snuck down from the clouds to Danville pretending to be coming from the airport, but they were idiots if they thought it was worth risking their friendship for her, when she had made it excruciatingly clear she didn't want to be with anyone. Something only Phineas didn't seem to want to accept.

As for Phineas, fuck, I was really worried about him. So was Isabella. So was… everybody! He was acting like I had been when Isabella and I were apart, and now I realize why he was so upset and worried back then. It was damn terrifying. I had literally no idea if he was eating or sleeping or… breathing. He would spend most of his day locked up in his room in his bed. He had no plans or ideas or anything. Maybe, just maybe, for a small amount of time a day he would leave the room for just water or to go the bathroom or something, and Bella and I would catch a glimpse of him. His face just looked… bitter. This wasn't the love story Phineas wanted to be in. He wanted to rescue the princess, or be the star-crossed lovers, or something else stupid and over-the-top, and Phineas-y. He didn't want the girl to just… go home. Like playing with his heart had been another day in the backyard, and now it was time for everyone to go back to their own beds.

"Ferb," Isabella covered her face. "I ruined everything."

I gave her a look. Yet again, Isabella's world revolves around Isabella. Everyone but Isabella only blamed Mishti Patel for causing the group chaos, but Isabella was convinced that she had done something to mess everything up; matchmaking everyone, giving out bad advice to Ginger, and Baljeet, and Phineas, and Mishti, and for somehow failing to stop this before it even started.

"I'm serious, Ferb." She said determinedly. "And Phineas was convinced he could fix it. I have to talk to him."

"Isabella," I said cautiously. "I'm not sure if he's in the mood for that."

"Ferb," She said, opening the door to the apartment. "He can't be THAT bad. Ginger and Baljeet might not be over each other, but they aren't hopelessly depressed."

"I'm worried that that may not be the case here." I replied. I followed her nevertheless, as she opened the door to his bedroom.

"Phineas?" We peered into the dark room.

"Ughhh." He was a pile of dead blankets. "Leave me alone, Ferb!"

"You didn't leave me when I was heartbroken." I said softly.

"What?"

I didn't say anything. It would be wrong of me to assume Phineas felt the same way about Mishti that I did about Isabella just because they were in a similar situation… but… I knew by now, Phineas was helplessly in love with Mishti.

"That's it." Isabella said. She aggressively turned the lights on. Phineas was lying in bed, flat on his face. "Phineas, you need to get up." She walked over and started tugging at an arm.

"Noooo." He dully whined. Everything was a little muffled.

"Don't you want to… do something?" She asked loudly. "Anything? Besides lie on your face in bed in the dark?" She was trying to spark an idea.

He turned a little towards her so she could hear him. "No, no I don't." He replied. "I think today is a good day to lie in the dark. And tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day." And he turned back.

"What is wrong with you?" She exclaimed. "I've never seen you like this before. Ok, so… so Mishti left." She sighed. Phineas lifted the pillow he had been lying on and covered his head with it. "PHINEAS! I get it, she left, you're upset, but you can't throw a tantrum like you're three, ok? She was going to leave no matter what, Phineas!" Isabella seemed to be getting more and more frustrated. "Phineas, ok, I'm not fucking oblivious like you! I know exactly how you feel about Mishti! I know EXACTLY how you feel! But, you know what? You know what? You need to learn, just like all of us, me, and Ferb, and Buford, and Baljeet, and Adyson, and Ginger, and everyone else who's ever had a bad breakup or an unrequited love… to fucking SUCK IT UP! Just build a bridge and get the fuck over it! This is your fault, Phineas! You could have had hundreds of girls! I loved you for half my life! Gretchen was a great match for you! Adyson was throwing herself at you! All throughout middle school, and high school, and college, and now, in our twenties, everyone wanted brilliant little Phineas, and you never gave any of us the fucking time of day! And now, when you finally require those 'biological needs' you convinced everyone you didn't have provided, you pick the one girl who A) has romantic connections with your best friend, B) clearly only thinks of you as a friend, and C) lives as FUCKING FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE! Great work, Phineas, great work!" She huffed and left the room. Jesus.

Phineas just barely lifted his head. "Great. Is she going to kick my ass now, too?"


	24. The Status Quo Is God

**YAY! Update, update, finally! I have so many random snippets of this, but it's getting into the busy time of the year.**

* * *

I felt like the biggest hypocrite in the entire universe. How could I tell Phineas to just… get over his first love? ME? I mean, yes, I had done it, but still, it had taken years. And Phineas had never been ripped out of my life. Neither had Ferb. Not even after we stopped being together for a point before I admitted I was in love with him. Phineas didn't know how to deal with heartbreak; it came with being an innocent soul. His parents never even had the heart to tell Phineas their dog had died. How could anyone just flat out break it to him that…

 _Tonight, I am boarding a flight to India, ok? Do you understand? Phineas, they're right! They're all right! Get your head out of the clouds!_

Gack! Talk about keeping him grounded. She had shot him out of the sky. But, it wasn't Mishti's fault. I mean, Phineas was her frie… he was her… ok, to be honest, I don't know what Phineas was to Mishti. But I knew she cared about him. Maybe she did have feelings for him. Just… how do you fall for the human torture that is Phineas and Vanessa wrapped up in one person? I didn't think that was possible! But… yeah, she was as oblivious as Phineas, while as irresistibly beautiful as Vanessa and just as good at friend-zoning. So, that could mean anything! She could be friend-zoning him or she could just be oblivious to his love, or maybe neither… maybe she was madly in love with him herself.

"This is getting serious." Ferb stated. "He's only making himself feel worse. He needs to snap out of it."

"What? You want us to go play good cop, bad cop again?" I asked. "I already yelled at him, Ferb. How can we, of all people, help him to get over her? We suck at getting over people. And we're the ones who drove him to this in the first place! The teasing, the scheming, constantly hooking up, the dates leaving him out; all of it! Now he's at an all time low, all because of us!"

Ferb paused for a moment. "Ok… We can't make him feel better. But, I know who can."

I sighed. "I know long-distance relationships are a thing, Ferb. But we can't just poof her over here. We don't even know if she likes him the way he likes her. And she'll have to go back again at some point, it's not good for…"

"I wasn't talking about Mishti."

* * *

"Phineas?"

"I told you to leave me alone, Ferb!" Phineas said loudly, chucking a balled up sweatshirt as a poor weapon towards the door. He missed.

"Phineas," I said. "It's not just Ferb and me."

"Hi Phineas."

"Baljeet!" Phineas actually sat up so fast I couldn't believe it. "You… you're talking to me again?"

"Yes." He said. "I suppose I am."

There was a long awkward pause. What to say now? Ferb was right… Phineas and Baljeet missed each other, and the five of us had been split up for too long. And Miss Mishti was gone now. What was the point in fighting? Misery loves company.

"I'm sorry!" They both said loudly at the same time.

"Baljeet… you know I never…" Phineas said in a pained voice. "And then… it got so out of hand!"

"I have been acting like a huge jerk!" Baljeet said sadly. "I am so ashamed of myself."

"No, it's my fault! You were right! I'm the one who got drunk and I should take responsibility for that. And you liked her and I knew that."

"No, I acted irrationally. And misogynistic. And jealous. And Phineas, I know I could never… I do not… not the way you… You are… in love with Mi- Mi… And I… I still love…" Baljeet couldn't finish his sentence. He could barely form his sentence. It was too depressing right now.

"Well, I missed my best friend." Phineas smiled a little.

"Me too." Baljeet said.

Finally, the gang was back together.

* * *

The world was back to normal. Sort of. I mean, yesterday, I got to watch all four of my boys build a portal to Pluto, then debate about whether it was a planet or not. Phineas wasn't clinically depressed anymore. Ginger and Baljeet were, um, not ready to kill each other at all times? It was a start.

I draped my legs lazily over Ferb's. "Soooo…" He glanced at me. "Are we going to… and tell Phineas… and then?" He stared back. "Oh, just say something!" I exclaimed.

"I can't." He stated.

I pouted. "But, yeah, Ferb…"

"Isabella, I can't. He's in a fragile place." He stated.

"But Baljeet and… I know." I replied. I couldn't take Ferb away from Phineas. Not after Mishti. I can't imagine Phineas and Ferb living a million miles away from each other again. Back in college, Phineas and Ferb had gone off to different places, and you know, they were a little off. It was good for them in some aspects, but they missed each other. Ferb missed Phineas when he was off with his little girlfriend… and Phineas missed Ferb when he was off with his.

"I'm not going to ruin anything for him."

"Ruin what for who?" Phineas himself remarked, as he, Buford, and amazingly Baljeet.

"Ferb and I want to move in together!" I blurted out. Oh my god, why did I just say that? Ferb was giving me a look.

"Oh shoot." Buford remarked. "You guys really are our perfect couple."

Phineas tilted his head. "Phineas, I didn't mean to… just could we…?"

"Are you asking for my permission?" He asked, sounding surprised. "Why would you need to do that?"

"Well, Ferb is YOUR roommate, and I just thought…" I trailed off.

"Yeah, but… you two are _Ferb and Isabella_." He emphasized. "How could this not happen at some point?"

"I… " What? Ferb was also giving me a look. Then, the funny thought occurred to me again that… they had all been shipping this. Phineas had been the one shipping this. Phineas had been waiting for us to get together. Even trying to help with Vanessa, even testing the waters with me himself… he had always sort of wanted me to end up with Ferb.

"Have you been looking?" Phineas asked. "For an apartment?"

"Sort of." I answered.

"I don't know why you would want to leave." Buford remarked. "This place is great. And we're all here."

"I have an idea." Baljeet piped up. "Switch."

"Huh?" We stared back.

"Phineas and Isabella should switch places." He said. "The apartments will be sized for them, and they will still be next to each other. Everyone will still be together."

What a… good idea! Why hadn't we thought of this before? Oh, right because our group was a total mess. "So?"

"Let's do it." Phineas said, genuinely brightly.

And everything was back to perfect.

* * *

 **And as the title goes, the status quo is God. All is back to normal, right? You know, except the whole "Ohmygosh-they're-moving-in-together!"**  
 **...And Balinger**

 **Pleez review, lol.**


	25. Donella

**Hi! Did anyone miss me? I've been pretty sick, but that's always me. Anyway, at least I'm not gone for 50 yrs or anything. Now that I've violently destroyed both Balinger and Phishti? (Muwahaha!), back to Ferbella!**

* * *

The last time I had been without a roommate was in college; for most of my experience, I had a single room, which was pretty lonely. For one year, my room was en suite, so I did spend some time with my only roommate, Beeker, a rather peculiar fellow. The boy always acted as if he was on LSD and was also exceptionally neurotic, beyond even Candace and Baljeet. It was a relief to be in a single afterwards, and quite useful for… other occasions. Then, it was back to Phineas. And like always, we were a good match. Isabella and I had practically been living with each other for the past year. In fact, we had practically been living together since we were little, with the exception of the "awkward teenager" phase. And we were the "perfect" match. Yet, some stuff sort of had changed.

Isabella had become the ultimate neat freak. Not in the sense that she would force me to make the bed or anything; she had become neat about herself. She would frantically try and make sure everything looked perfect all the time, trying to keep up the illusion that she was still the pink princess, and not the girl who wakes up five hours after me on weekends with the enormous poof of hair in sweats with no makeup. She didn't want me to see her at any "unattractive" point in the day, and I would be lying if I said I didn't do the same. At the same time, everything just got a lot easier. We could talk, have sex, go out on dates, etc. without having to call and plan ahead. The gang still all could come over. Dating someone you've known since you were in elementary school is actually pretty helpful… any and all quirks, habits, annoyances, turn-offs, secrets, had all been exposed by now. I think.

"Shit!" I heard a hiss from the other room.

"Bella," I peeked around. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I just almost broke a nail." Female priorities. "What are you dressed up for?" She asked me inquisitively.

As if on cue, Phineas walked in through the door. "Hey Ferb, ready to go?"

"Go where?" Isabella turned to me crossly. I gestured towards the fridge. She marched over there and pulled a sticky-note from it. "Going to Mom and Dad's for dinner – Ferb! What did I say about using, you know, words?"

"You can come." Phineas shrugged. "Candace and Jeremy and all will be there."

"Can I come?" She crossed her arms.

"Of course, love." I said tiredly. I gestured for to get ready.

"Yay! Meeting my boyfriend's parents! How exciting!" She joked.

Huh. That was normally supposed to be a big deal, but like I said, I was dating a girl I had known, we had all known, since I was tiny. My family knew Isabella well enough that we had brought her on trips with us, she had already met all my cousins, my grandparents, she had been to England with me… I'm not sure what was supposed to be a big deal now.

"You do know I should be mad at you right now." Isabella commented as we went inside. "You were sneaking off here without me."

I gave her a look. Sneaking off? Honestly, it didn't matter if I had told her or not, Isabella had the habit of inviting herself along no matter what. If she didn't try to be such a matchmaker, she would be the ultimate cockblocker. Again, Isabella had never really "kept tabs" on me before she moved in with me.

"Hey Amanda." Phineas commented.

"Hi Uncle Phineas. Hi Uncle Ferb." She said sweetly.

"How's the A.I. working out for you on that princess doll?" He asked.

"Not so great." She sighed. "She's become really bossy."

"Why is it that when you code it, they always become authoritarian?" I questioned him.

"Hey man, I'm not the one who almost built the space laser. That's all I'm saying." He responded.

"Hi Amanda." Isabella said sweetly.

"Hi." The little girl twirled her hair. "You're...?"

"Isabella."

"Yeah!" She nodded actively. "You're the one in all the pretty pink dresses all the time!"

"That's me." Isabella giggled. "I'm your Uncle Phineas' and Ferb's friend. Actually, I'm Uncle Ferb's girlfriend."

Amanda started giggling. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"I had a boyfriend once. But he wouldn't share his crayons the next day. So then he wasn't my boyfriend anymore." Amanda seemed to get lost in her own tiny memories.

"What are the boys doing?" Phineas asked.

"NOTHING!" She declared angrily. "They never do anything. I'll show you."

"Ferb, hi honey." Mom welcomed us. I gestured to Isabella. I hope she didn't… "Of course I don't mind you brought her! Hi Isabella." Ha, yup, that was my mom.

"Hi Mrs. Fletcher." Isabella smiled. "Hi Mr. Fletcher."

"Hello love."

"Hi Mom, Hi Dad." Phineas said, walking into the kitchen with Candace and Jeremy.

"These kids drive me crazy." Candace commented.

"Let me just get this… into the oven… Ok." Mom turned around. "So, what has the gang been up to?"

"Oh, you didn't know? Ferb and Isabella are living together now." Phineas said obliviously. I gave him a look, Isabella blushed pink, Mom couldn't hide her smile, but Dad had this strange thoughtful expression on his face.

"As a couple?" Candace said incredulously. "And you're alone?" She pointed at Phineas. We three all kind of squirmed around. Now you know what I meant when I said, "I can't" to Isabella. ALONE felt like it carried a weight now. Three didn't have to be a crowd.

"They are a couple. They're the perfect couple." Phineas emphasized.

"She's probably just jealous we didn't get to do that." Jeremy said. "Move in together while we were dating." Jeremy is always the voice of reason in the room. Yeah. Candace and Jeremy got married, moved to the suburbs, and had their first child all within her first year out of college. They never bummed around as the gang and I am for so long. But that had always been Candace's dream, to get married and live the picket fence family life. Pursuing Vanessa all my life should've put it in perspective, but none of us had ever been that mature… only now were we more ready for serious relationships.

I stayed relatively silent throughout most of the night. I listened to what was going on in everyone's various lives. It was true that to some extent, in your twenties, your friends become your family, so it was nice to hear what was going on with the kids at school, everyone else at work; "old people" romance. Of course, Bella and Phin still talked up a storm. Isabella was the chattiest person I knew, only to be rivaled by Phineas, which was why we made the perfect pair. However, the whole night I couldn't help notice my dad watching me, and her, with a close eye. It was starting to creep me out. By the time dessert had been served, and Xavier and Fred were falling asleep, my father gestured that he wanted to talk to me alone.

"Ferb, can I show you something?"

I followed him quietly up the stairs. Oh God, what was this now? My father was definitely known for being eclectic. He was a well-known historian and antique dealer. We couldn't be more opposite; I was all about inventing and the future.

He was digging through a box in his closet and eventually pulled out an antique-looking ring box…? And opened it.

I stared at it. It had to be the most beautiful thing in the entire world. One large diamond, with what seemed like a million little ones around, with hints of pink and blue gleaming from them like prisms, all set in silver.

"It was your great-grandmother's." Dad said gently.

I had never met any of my great-grandparents, but my father had been particularly attached to his grandmother. I was stunned he was showing me this.

"Grandma Donnie was a real spitfire Ferb. Ha, she's the one who brought the Scots into the family. Of course, you know how we Fletcher men are. I can't believe how lucky we were to get a woman like that in our family. I think, in fact, all of us Fletcher men have been extremely lucky in that field. Mum is very spirited, and your mother might literally be a fireball sometimes." He chuckled at his stupid redhead joke. "You don't come across a special girl like that often, and we're pretty lucky to find them." Maybe he could tell from my face I wasn't completely on board. "Do you know what Grandma Donnie's real name was? Donella." He handed me the ring in its box. "I know Isabella is your spitfire, Ferb."

* * *

"Ho-ly shit." The guys all stared at the ring.

Phineas half-laughed and rubbed the back of his head. "He – they – want you to marry her." I nodded.

"They just gave you their blessing." Baljeet said. We were all pretty dumbfounded. It was so strange that I had been contemplating just the concept of marriage in general… and now my parents wanted me to get married?

"No, nobody said… Our parents love Isabella more than like anyone. They aren't saying go marry her this second. They just kind of want you to." Phineas stated. I nodded again.

"Marriage? Are you kidding me?" Buford laughed. "Ferb, if you get married, that's it. No more ladies for you."

"Buford, you are a huge faker." Baljeet said. "We all know you are a romantic at heart. Obnoxiously so."

"Eh." Buford shrugged. "I guess we all already know Ferb found the person he couldn't live without."

Baljeet tilted his head. "There was this little thing we did in psychology camp; Name the five people you couldn't live without. Not more, not less."

"That's not fair!" Phineas exclaimed. "There are loads of people I couldn't live without."

"What?" Buford said. "So, are we like, going to try to do that now? I don't know!"

"What about you, Ferb?" Phineas turned to me.

"Mum, Dad, Candace, Phineas, and Isabella." I said plainly.

"What?" They all stared.

"How'd he do that so fast?" Buford wondered.

"Well, he just picked his family and his girlfriend, who is about to be his family." Baljeet shrugged.

"But that means we don't make the list." Buford whined.

"Hmm…" Baljeet paused. "My mother, my father… Phineas and Ferb, and," He cringed. "Buford."

"Yes!" Buford said triumphantly. "Made it on the list!"

"That caused me pain to say." Baljeet said.

"Not Ginger?" Phineas asked gently.

"No!" Baljeet exclaimed. "Why on Earth would I put Ginger of all people on my list of five people I could not live without?"

"Uhh…" Phineas trailed off.

"Ok, my turn." Buford said. "My mom, duh. And… Phineas, Ferb, Baljeet, and Isabella. I mean, you guys are pretty much my family." I half-smiled.

"Well, I mean, if I had to pick only five people, it would be the same as Ferb's." Phineas said. "Mom, Dad, Candace, Ferb and Is… Mis…" He frowned. We all knew what he was thinking and who he was thinking of, but he was living without her right now, and doing fine… I think. "…Isabella." He finished weakly.

"Oh, tell her!" I declared.

"What?" He asked.

"What part of that did you not understand, Dinnerbell?"

"I- I can't tell Mishti I'm in love with her!" Phineas exclaimed.

"Why?" I questioned. "You're always the one encouraging all of us to confess our feelings."

"But what about you?" He weakly gestured to Baljeet.

"Phineas, I promise you, " He held up his hands. "I am never going to be that spiteful again. And, psychologically speaking, much of that probably has less to do with you and more to do with me; envy is linked to interpersonal conflict-"

"Shut the FUCK up." Buford said flatly. "Anyway, if anyone can make the whole 'long-distance' thing work, it's you two, you don't even know how to have a normal relationship, might as well have an abnormal one."

"But she hates me." Phineas said weakly. "She was so mad at me at the party, and over the phone."

"Phineas," I said. "She doesn't hate you. She was crushed when you didn't come with her to the airport."

"Ferb, I can't, I can't." He said. "This isn't like the rest of you. She's not my high-school sweetheart like Candace and Jeremy. She isn't my secret admirer like Baljeet and Ginger. She's not my best friend like you and Isabella. She's… MISHTI." He sighed to himself.

I suppose there was something there about their relationship I would never get. He was such a loving person who completely gave his heart to a girl who just seemed to want to stay a free bird, or an unprovable theory.

"Alright, go home to your wife, Ferb." Buford laughed. Neither Baljeet nor Phineas made a move to leave with me. I know he was making a joke, but in all seriousness, my Bella would be home from her own little friends' meeting soon, and the sort of fun we had together I preferred to any of this, if you know what I meant.

I'm not sure if having sex with my girlfriend would get the newfound Donella problem out of my mind or make it worse, but I could sure use some if she was up to it. I checked my phone and there was a text displayed on it.

 **It started raining coming from Ginger's. I'm soaked. You're going to have to peel these clothes off me ;)**

I knew it. She was probably already at home. When the elevator stopped, there was in fact someone standing in front of my apartment door.

But it was the last person I expected to see.

* * *

 **Cliffhanger? Any guesses as to who it is?  
**

 **So, in the beginning, I was a very strict by-the-books follow-my-outline writer. Catch 21 is a good example of that. But my outline for this has some complete blanks! So please review, you could totally "write" this story if you're anonymous and you don't know how to write or you just wanna see stuff happen or whatever. I really could use the reviews. Even if you wanna just roast me. Ok, I'd rather you don't, but you can, I guess. Tell me what you want to see, I'll make it happen.**

 **Silver Trivia: This chapter is named for biophysicist** **Donella Meadows who was born March 13, I missed it, sorry. Also, R.I.P. to Stephen Hawking... probably the one guy we associate with the Theory of Everything and G.U.T.**


	26. Honey & Vanilla

**Let's introduce two major antagonists. What? TWO? ANTAGONISTS? Am I mad, you say? Yeah, kind of. This is what happens when you have NO idea what you're doing. Which is always me. You thought I knew what I was doing with String Theory, and that's why it's everyone's favorite story? You fools.**

* * *

Fuck… my… life.

What is this? I feel like I have so lost track of definitions at this point. Hypocrisy? Coincidence? Karma? Who had I pissed off? Christ? Jehovah? Ganesh? My sadistic puppetmaster?

Ok, so you know how people say, "We can still be friends" after a break-up? Yeah, that's not really a thing. At least not with Ferb. Ferb was the "love 'em, leave 'em" type, Ferb only had ONE girl friend, err, friend who was a girl. ME. I'd see him with all these ridiculously gorgeous girls, and tease him, sometimes with Phineas, sometimes straight up with his mom, when was he going to let me find him a nice real girlfriend?

Ferb had four "real" girlfriends. Gretchen… the high school one that you actually could stay friends with. Vanessa. No comment. Me. (Hearts appear). And… the British one.

Sandra Smith. It was about the most boring, vanilla, BRITISH, name I had ever heard. Alliterative too. Whatever images I had seen of her before, they weren't coming to mind. She had the look of a plain-Jane who had _definitely_ had work done – wasn't content with being just pretty. Blonde and slightly curvy. She definitely wasn't ugly. Somehow I just couldn't tell if English honey & vanilla was the farthest thing from Ferb's taste, or right on the money.

He was so sweet about it too. I felt like absolutely murdering him, or her, or the whole world, at first. He had NO idea she was going to be here, he hadn't invited her, he was showing no interest, and really, neither was she. She had some "on-and-off" thing or whatever… she wasn't single. She just heard he lived here and was in town. And he was completely honest about it. Plus, the girl was a little… boring. It was like a reverse Mishti.

So, like the bigmouth I am, I invited her to hang out with us later. I guess I wanted to engineer that Mishti and get myself fucking dumped like Ginger?

Oohhh, the last thing I needed was another ex to add to the pot right when I got rid of Vanessa. Granted, Vanessa is Vanessa, Ferb's first love, there's nothing Sandra could have that she didn't. But, I can just picture Ginger's cat-eyes on me every day in the group now, analyzing me in the same situation she was in. Yeah, I blame her for the whole karma thing.

"So now you this is officially EVERYONE; You obviously know Ferb, and me, Baljeet, Buford, Django, Irving, Kyle, Wynne, Gretchen, Adyson, Ginger, Katie, Milly, Holly, and Isabella."

"Right, right, _Isabella_." She scared me a little. She was sweet, but not Mishti-sweet. And not the same way Vanessa did with, like everyone, in all black. Sandra scared me like a British schoolmistress that would hit your knuckles with a ruler if you got out of line. Everyone else seemed to like her. Not Mishti-levels but…

I must be fucking paranoid. This must have been EXACTLY what Ginger was feeling. Honestly, I couldn't bring myself to like Sandra for a few reasons. One, I missed Mishti. I did. I didn't want to replace her. Especially with a girl who was 50 times more boring, though probably a lot less ditzy. Two, Ferb's ex-girlfriend, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? Three, she gave me the creeps, just the way she said my name, she had an agenda, I swear. Me and the girls would have to do some digging.

"Ferb's ex-girlfriend!" I exclaimed.

"Relax, Izzy." Adyson said calmly.

"Ferb's ex-girlfriend!" I think my voice went up higher.

"I think now would be a good time for an I-told-you-so," Ginger remarked.

"But she's not Mishti." Holly said sadly.

"I miss Mishti!" Milly wailed.

"Oh DON'T tell me you're going to try to set up Phineas with Sandra!" Adyson exclaimed.

"NO!" I could not have Phineas and Ferb fight like Phineas and Baljeet. That was just not allowed. Plus, Phineas was still nursing a recent heartbreak. And Sandra wasn't single. And creepy.

"Ohmigosh, is that a gray hair?" Adyson was clearly ignoring me.

"Just… isn't this… weird?" I commented.

"Well, who would you ask about this?" Katie responded.

"Someone from… England…?"

"We'll get on it, Chief." Gretchen stated reassuringly. That name somewhat calmed me down. "I had an idea earlier. I don't think it would _relieve_ stress, but…"

"Tell me!" I said hurriedly.

"You've 'met' Ferb's parents. Why not let him meet yours?"

* * *

The idea of Ferb "meeting" my parents was so stupid. I was totally doing it.

"So…" I glanced at the two of them eating. "Do you guys want to come and see my new apartment soon? Maybe this Saturday? I don't think you've been there yet." I said. "And maybe… have dinner with me and my boyfriend?"

"Oh Isa." My mom smiled. "Of course, we would love to. How is Ferb, anyway?"

I smiled. "He's good, Mami."

"What kind of name is Ferb, anyway?" My dad asked.

"Daddy…" I said, irritated.

"I'm just asking! So, you've stopped going after that other boy… Phoebus?"

"Phineas, Daddy." I said. "Yes. Like, a year ago."

"Good. That boy was a loser."

"Daddy!" I cried.

"What? Any boy who takes twenty years and still doesn't like my pumpkin is a loser. Fact."

"Uggh. Daddy." I rolled my eyes.

"Well, Isa… I hope you won't take another twenty years with this one." My mother laughed. "I want some grandchildren eventually."

"Mom!" I exclaimed.

"Look, Viv…" My dad pointed at her. "Isabella isn't doing anything with anyone. Especially not with a 'Ferb'."

"Dad," I turned to him. "I love Ferb." I said firmly.

"Uh-huh. Like you 'loved' Phineas. Viv, I warned you not to let her spend so much time with those boys."

"GAH!" I screamed. "Are you guys coming to dinner or not?"

"Of course we are, mija."

* * *

I had mentioned before I was an only child. I have all the girls. I have all the boys. I have all my neighbors and cousins and friends and Mexican-Jews. But at the end of the day, I went home to just my parents. Everyone knows Vivian Garcia. She had been the chirpiest person and brightest face in the community since she moved from Mexico. Ruben Shapiro was a whole different ballgame.

I was closer to my daddy than anyone; he would bring me something from every business trip, I would sit up with him gabbing away about anything from cartoons to politics, he would take my side in all the arguments against my mom and in return I would put up with the dad jokes. Daddy was a business-type; if I got my outgoingness from my mom, I got my leadership skills from him. He was never the type to stick around for all we did though. Projects to just barbeques. Linda might have been my mom's best friend, but my dad strongly disliked Phineas and Ferb… mainly for the whole "unrequited love" thing Phineas and I had, but also he thought all the boys were stupid and "stifled my potential".

This was such a bad idea.

"Ferb, what's your favorite dessert?" I asked, pushing the cart down the aisles with one hand and holding my phone with the other.

"Isabella." He said, seductively.

"Stop it! Be serious!" I reprimanded.

"I'm serious. I could really use a nice helping of Isabella right now."

"Ferb!" I pulled at my hair. "You know this is the first time you're having dinner with my parents, don't you?"

"Relax, Isabella. Your mother loves me and Phineas."

"Oh yeah." I tapped my foot. "Ferb, how many times have you met my dad?"

"Um, once or twice, I suppose…"

"My dad, you know the super stern Jewish guy who looks like he can totally destroy tiny British men, and thinks playing in the backyard is stupid!" I practically shouted.

"Relax, Isabella…"

"No, tonight has to go perfectly!" I squealed. "Um," I covered my face. "There's another thing I forgot… and by forgot, I mean avoided… to tell you. Daddy… Daddy thinks I'm a virgin." There was silence. "Ferb?"

"So he doesn't know…?"

"You've been riding his baby girl every night?" I said quietly. "No."

"What about our bedroom?"

"Well, the house has two rooms…" I said guiltily.

He groaned. "How dense do you think your father is? Isabella, you expect him to believe that we live in the same apartment, and we've never, EVER, spent the night in the same bed?"

"I don't know!" I stomped my foot. "Just… pick a flavor of ice cream. And if you say Isabella again, I will kill you."

* * *

 **Does the name "Emily Kinney" mean anything to anybody out there? (Not my character, don't sue). Sandra is not the same, AT ALL, as you'll see later, but you can really use her as your basis for everything, image, backstory, if you want, it was probably even in my head back like 5 years ago when I gave Ferb two exes, Gretchen and a Brit.**

 **Also, if the level of OC is giving you guys chest pains, please review, I am so winging it. I sometimes hate fan fiction with too many OCs, that's not why I read it. But as a writer, I am enjoying giving roles to basically non-existent characters like Mishti and Mr. Shapiro (DIVERSITY YEAH!) because that's just how I have fun. Input matters. Do you like Mr. Shapiro? Hate him? Hate him, but in a good way, like he's a great Meet the Parents villain? Do you miss Mishti and want her back? Do you want the Indian hore to stay away from our sweet Phin or are they soulmates? Is Sandra a threat? Do Baljeet and Ginger need to get back together or is it a toxic relationship? REVIEW! I DESPERATELY NEED OPINIONS!**

 **Next chapter Ferb impresses his... potential in-laws?**


	27. Rents

**Hey, how's it going? Long time no see, have good summers? I cannot say I was working on this or anything important because this is a super short chapter, especially for this story which was averaging 3000-5000 word chappies.  
*FANS CURSE SILVER OUT***

* * *

I can't say I have a PERFECT track record for "meeting the parents", although I dare not say that, for fear Isabella might kill me right now. It's important for it to go right for her, just like with everything Isabella. Parents or adults like me, as I've always given off a more mature vibe than my friends, but you know, it's not easy being green… take that as what you interpret it to be. Sandra's parents had very random petty qualms with me… for example; they questioned why we didn't go to church. The only people who go to church are from Aunt Lucy's side of the family… talk about petty. Sandra's only prayers were for me to play along, which of course I did. I could tolerate them enough to sneak away under the stars with her.

 _"Doesn't matter that you tried to impress them, Mr. Fantastic. Matters that you impressed me."_

I flipped my hair around and ran a comb through it, slowly.

"FERB!" Isabella crowed. "Get out of the bathroom!"

"Sor-"

I couldn't even form one syllable before she was pushing me out of the way to use the mirror too. I studied at her as she began applying mascara. She wasn't dressed yet. Not really. She had on a sheer set of hosiery and a bra to match, which somehow while not being that revealing, was giving me terrible urges and goosebumps as well.

"What are you staring at, Fletcher?" She joked, as she finished her makeup.

"Nothing…"

"EEP! No, Ferb, no!" She squealed, as we both ran out of the room. "Stop it, I need to get ready! Stop chasing me around the house naked, you jackass!" We started laughing.

I pushed her against the wall. "Are these new?" I ran a finger down her panties.

"Yes… Stop it!" She slapped my hand away as the finger was trying to pull them down. "We don't have time for that! Stop, Ferrrrrrb." She moaned, as I started sucking on her neck, at just the right spot.

"Fine." I pulled away. "But I'm requiring these to come off for me at some point tonight." I snapped a bra strap.

"You bad boy!" She poked at my chest. "I swear, tonight I am going to fuck you so hard…" The doorbell rang, and I swear we both were about to start screaming. "They're so early!" She cried. "I'm not ready! You're not ready! What did they hear?" My eyes got big.

"Go, go!" I hissed. We ran to put on our clothes.

No time to look fancy, I barely had time to put on my shirt. I figure most of it wasn't loud enough, or they weren't close enough, or it wasn't distinct enough… except my Virgin Mary had just possibly loudly proclaimed how hard I was going to fuck her tonight in front of her father. Great.

"Mami! Daddy!" Isabella went full all-out hostess in a floral dress with pearls and all.

"Isa!" Vivian hugged her.

"Did you have an easy trip into the city?" She asked.

"Can never find any damn parking here." Ruben answered gruffly.

"Ferb!" Vivian said brightly. I raised my hand in a wave, but found myself caught in a sudden hug. "It's so nice to see you! I love this house!" She eagerly rushed around the rooms.

"It's fine." Ruben said curtly, almost rudely. Isabella was right. Between these two, it was like the _very easy_ and _very hard_ difficulties on some fictional impress-a-parent game I had to beat. "Why did you move?" He confronted her.

"It IS a lot nicer than my other apartment." Isabella emphasized. "And Ferb and I enjoy having each other as company."

Please don't bash my head in for sleeping with her. I told Bella this was a bad idea. He did not look convinced. I know Mr. Shapiro never had a "fondness" for the guys, and me, ESPECIALLY Phineas. I don't know if that was because he was Isabella's crush, he didn't return Isabella's crush, or all of the above. I suppose I had taken that new position of hatred as Isabella's new object of affection.

Shapiro seemed to take whatever she said at her word and shrug it off, and soon enough we were eating dinner while Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro made an effort to fulfill all the mom clichés and embarrass her daughter by pulling up pictures on her cell phone.

"And that's Isa on first trip to Mexico… is that the one where she got head lice, Ruben?"

Isabella was sinking lower and lower in her seat. "Kill me." She muttered. I smirked. She almost stuck her tongue out me, but resisted. My poor girl.

I had to redirect my attention to her father. He had answered Vivian's question, or at least responded to her, but in Spanish, and in a low tone. I bet he didn't know I spoke Spanish. Still, it was too quiet and quick when I wasn't really paying attention.

I had known Mr. Shapiro almost my whole life, and he definitely always looked like the definition of… a bully. Not the Buford card-carrying bully that beats you up and steals your bike. More like the corporate bully that walks all over the little guy that still collects Pinhead Pierre memorabilia. Not that I could ever tell Bella this. She idolized her father in the same way Phineas and I idolized ours.

 _Why doesn't he talk?_

 _You aren't exactly being so friendly either. He's always been a quiet boy._

 _Stop speaking in Spanish, it's rude._

"No me importa si hablamos español." I said lightly.

The Garcia-Shapiros shut up with embarrassment and returned to eating. That was… awkward. Did I come across like I was spying on them? Or show-offish? I may or may not have always been a little bit of a show-off.

I didn't say anything the rest of the night.

* * *

 **Hey Ferb**

 **DON'T TELL GIRLY**

 **What do you do if**

 **…**

 **…**

 **I'm screwed**

The flashing texts at 2 AM… someone broke. Who wins the pool this time?


End file.
